All of us like to be heard, listened to and shown respect for our thoughts. This is true, whether we are 3 years old or 83 years old. While we know how to listen with respect, (eyes on the person, nodding at appropriate times, engaged in the conversation), as parents we need to be sure we follow those rules when we are being spoken to by our children no matter what their age. It was very funny in the classes this past week, that all the kids knew the answers about how to listen and they were very engaged when we talked about a person who was looking at others or fidgeting when they were trying to talk.
The reason I found that amusing was that I find myself doing that from time to time. Listening is such an important skill and one that I am continuing to work on. I told some parents this week that sometimes I find myself not devoting my whole self to the person I am talking to especially when we are in between classes and there is so much activity. Just to let you know that I am aware of this and I am working on keeping my focus on the conversation and the person I am talking to. Don’t you just love the lessons the ‘kids’ are learning!!!!
An easy way to avoid bullying
This week we talked about using respect in the way we speak to others. We all know that the words we use and the tone of voice we use speaks volumes in the way we are perceived. If we use words that show good manners, we are perceived as being respectful. If we complement others on a regular basis we are perceived as respectful. I mentioned to many of the children that using those two ways of showing respect may at times be the difference in being bullied or being perceived as a good guy (gal) and not bullied. Of course this has to be the way we do things all the time and not just when we are trying to escape a bad situation. Especially in regard to giving complements.
I encourage all of us to be free with and willing to see the value in others, notice their talents, or efforts and then tell them. It will make them feel good and us too.
Influences on Respect
The development of respect in our children is affected by a number of different factors. As usual there is never just one thing that is going to be the difference maker. Generally there will be a number of influences that affect this part of character development in our students.
- Seeing respectful behavior modeled.
- The trust factor (kids trust of adults)
- Role models our children have
- Language that our kids are exposed to
- Effect of the media and what is accepted as ‘normal’
- How are children are treated
If you would like to read some thoughts about influences on respect, Click here.
The good news is respect can be taught to our children. Respect is really based on that golden rule of treating others the way we want to be treated. When they learn that everyone has the right to be treated in a positive and caring way, they are also learning that they can and should respect themselves too.
How can we help our children understand the meaning, value and behaviors of respect? Their success in every arena of their life is dependent on making respect a part of their lives without our prompting and reinforcement. During the rest of this month I will post some ways that we can teach respect to our children and students.
The crisis of disrespect
Every relationship, interaction and communication should begin and end with respect. Respect is about treating others as we would have them treat us in the same situation. It’s reflected in the way we speak and act, the way we treat our family, friends, environment and community, and the way we regard the rights, ideas and property of others. It’s also the way we treat ourselves; since when we can see and celebrate our own strengths and values, it is easier to respect the value in others.
Respect is the cornerstone of moral behavior. It tells us that everybody has the right to be treated with respect, courtesy, and consideration. Yet in a survey done by the NY Times, 93% of responding adults believed that parents have failed to teach children honesty, respect, and responsibility. Most would agree that there is a crisis of disrespect in the world today, and while there is no one factor that is responsible for this, there are a few that have contributed greatly to situation. What they are and what we can do about will be in later posts.
Respect
Young students
Respect means “I treat others the way I want them to treat me”
Older students, teens, adults:
Respect means showing appreciation for the value in ourselves and others.
“Treating others the way you want to be treated.”
September Community Service
The BLS community service project for September will be a part of a project just launched by Balanced Life Skills. This project is called Help a Teacher. The Help a Teacher website is open for all schools, public and private and their teachers, to post the needs and wishes for individual teachers and their classroom.
Many teachers in our county reach into their own pocket and provide supplies for their classroom. I have personally never felt that this was fair or right for the teachers, who are very dedicated but are often times under paid. This initiative is an extension of my belief that many individuals contributing in small ways can accomplish bigger and greater deeds.
You may participate in a number of ways.
The request by BLS to support this month is the supply of used books for Bates Middle School. If you click here you will see the request made by this teacher. If you can help, please just bring your books either here to the school or you can deliver them to Bates directly.
Other ways you can participate are by:
- Notifying all teachers about this website and service
- Notifying all PTA’s to encourage teachers and parents to visit the site to see what they can do.
- Hand out the Help a Teacher business cards to business’, employees, employers and anyone who may be able to help.
All of the donations by others should be delivered directly to the school and teacher if possible and not brought here to Balanced Life Skills. We are working at creating a community that is involved with each other and supporting the ultimate goal of giving our students the best education that we can.