This week we have been discussing having respect for ourselves. This idea of self respect is one that has many aspects, from the physical (exercise, sleep, good nutrition) to showing others that we respect ourselves by standing up to them when needed and not giving up on our personal goals.
Recently I did a seminar about bullying to a group of 6th – 8th graders and we talked about the idea of self talk, those words we say to ourselves in good times and bad. Unfortunately many times we hear the words of others tell us we can’t do something or that is not possible, or your not good enough.
It is funny how we can find ourselves repeating them back to ourselves in words like, “your not good enough”, “or just quit, you can’t do this”. If we had a “friend” who constantly told us we were not good enough we would likely not keep that person as a close companion, yet we may be saying those same words to ourselves over and over again.
We can break out of this habit with better ‘self-talk’. It is our responsibility as a parent to teach our kids how to use positive self talk and to speak to them in a way that helps them build ‘self respect’. More on that in our next post.
BLS September Community Service
To all parents and students and the community surrounding Annapolis.
This year we started the Help a Teacher community service project. The request you see below is the very first request that was made on the site and I am hoping that we can see what part we can play to help this school out. Do you have any books that you may be ready to part with. Please donate them to this cause. I would also encourage our students to go to your neighbors and your parents offices to see if we can collect a significant number of books for Bates Middle School.
Feel free to send this post to all on your mail list that may be able to help this school fill their library.
Books–books of any kind, shape, size, or condition are requested by the Bates Middle Media Center. Bates has made reading a priority for its students. We would like for each teacher to have a classroom library and each student to have a home library. Since we have students that read both above and below grade level, any books are welcome. Current literature in excellent condition, a book series, or hardcover books may be placed in the media center. Other books will be given to students to include in their home libraries. Books that cannot fill our needs will be donated to other schools. Thank you for any help that you can provide!
Bring all of your books and collections to Balanced Life Skills 133 Gibralter Avenue Annapolis MD on September 20th or anyday during the month of September. Be sure that you ask your friends and neighbors!
Respecting the Environment Out of Love
Showing respect for the environment is a larger part of our conversations these days, as we face higher prices for oil, food and many of the items we have seen as commodities. Aldo Leopold, the author of A Sand County Almanac wrote; “we abuse land because we regard it as a commodity belonging to us. When we see land as a community to which we belong, we may begin to use it with love and respect.”
How do you believe we can make the biggest difference? What might be the results if we don’t make changes in the way we treat the earth and environment that we live as a part of a community.
I know I have said this before, one of my biggest concerns is that we do not just react to the situation that we have at hand until we think it is fixed. I believe that our whole way of thinking including not believing we are entitled to anything we can pay for, and not doing things for the environment because it is popular or out of fear. I do believe that we can make a difference in the world when we mindfully act based on love and respect for the environment, our communities, and ourselves.
What can you do today that shows more respect for the world?
Preserving the ‘rules of respect’
This month as we have looked at the character of respect with our students, we must examine ourselves as adults and ask how we can encourage respect, even when disrespect an rudeness is found everyday. Of course we have to be sure that we do not begin to believe that it is acceptable to act in that manner. In fact we may ask ourselves, how individuals we spend the most time with during the week speak to one another. Do they show respect in their communication and how does it affect us? How do we do as individuals on a scale of 1-10 of showing respect for others? Do we create drama in our relationships and show disrespect for others? As we think about this we have to wonder about the affect it has on us and the way we speak to others and how they speak to us. Do adjustments need to be made?
Robert Ingersoll said, “Give to every human every right that you claim for yourself.” I would add our children are watching and our neighbors children. They are learning how they will act toward others. It is our responsibility to set the best example we can to ensure that the ‘rules of respect’ are preserved with our children.
Focus on listening shows respect
All of us like to be heard, listened to and shown respect for our thoughts. This is true, whether we are 3 years old or 83 years old. While we know how to listen with respect, (eyes on the person, nodding at appropriate times, engaged in the conversation), as parents we need to be sure we follow those rules when we are being spoken to by our children no matter what their age. It was very funny in the classes this past week, that all the kids knew the answers about how to listen and they were very engaged when we talked about a person who was looking at others or fidgeting when they were trying to talk.
The reason I found that amusing was that I find myself doing that from time to time. Listening is such an important skill and one that I am continuing to work on. I told some parents this week that sometimes I find myself not devoting my whole self to the person I am talking to especially when we are in between classes and there is so much activity. Just to let you know that I am aware of this and I am working on keeping my focus on the conversation and the person I am talking to. Don’t you just love the lessons the ‘kids’ are learning!!!!
An easy way to avoid bullying
This week we talked about using respect in the way we speak to others. We all know that the words we use and the tone of voice we use speaks volumes in the way we are perceived. If we use words that show good manners, we are perceived as being respectful. If we complement others on a regular basis we are perceived as respectful. I mentioned to many of the children that using those two ways of showing respect may at times be the difference in being bullied or being perceived as a good guy (gal) and not bullied. Of course this has to be the way we do things all the time and not just when we are trying to escape a bad situation. Especially in regard to giving complements.
I encourage all of us to be free with and willing to see the value in others, notice their talents, or efforts and then tell them. It will make them feel good and us too.