martial arts | - Part 16

February 11, 2011

Five Element Qigong class

I would like to introduce the Balanced Life Skills community to Corey Hopp. Corey has been living in China for the past year and a half studying Wudang Daoist Kung Fu. He is preparing to return to China at the end of March, but in the mean time has offered our school the special opportunity to learn about Qigong (chee-gong) a healing art including deep breathing and meditation.

On the website linked here, Corey is the 9th student from the left. It is very cool to have a visiting instructor and we would like to invite any of the parents and others to come in during at the times listed HERE to for a demonstration class during the week of February 14th at no cost. Starting the week of February 21, there will be a small charge for the classes that will last one month – prior to Corey returning to China at the end of March for more training.

This is a great opportunity to learn about this art and health form that I am sure everyone who takes part in will enjoy.

February 8, 2011

Fairness and healthy competition

It is almost always in the matter of games and competition that we hear the call of that’s not fair. We live in a society that winning is very important, so much so that sometimes there are those that will do almost anything to win, even to the detriment of their reputation or even health. It starts at an early age playing a board game, when the rules are not completely understood or there is an intense rivalry between players. Someone may be tempted to skirt the rules for the sake of “winning”.

When that happens it is not fair to the other players, and many times causes resentment among the competitors and most certainly create a situation that is not fun for others. In teaching fairness I believe that first we the parents must have a healthy attitude about competition. Our children learn from us “how important winning is”, and how we should react when we lose. We may have to reduce the amount of playing time we play individually as we work on our competitive attitude.

Here is a simple fact of life that all children must learn and adults need to remember. Life is hard, sometimes we will lose, and many times it will not seem fair. The sooner we teach our children that life is not just about being first, winning at all cost, and having more than others – the better prepared they will be for the real world, in a healthy way.

We do this by setting the example for them. Not comparing ourselves with others, or demonstrating a jealousy over what another family has or is doing. Fairness is not about competition, it is about getting what we need and deserve.

February 7, 2011

Maintaining the trust of our children

We all know the importance of trust and integrity in our relationships. There is no place where that is more important than in the relationship that we have with our family members and especially our children. Warren Bennis said in his book that integrity “is the one quality that cannot be acquired but must be earned.”

It is as Stephen Covey talks about, like a bank account. We build it a little at a time by what we say and do. We can make withdrawals too, by not living up to our word or doing what we say we are going to do. Interestingly though, like in a construction project, it is easier to tear something down than it is to build it up. In regard to our children, they come into the world trusting us to the fullest. They depend on us for everything. So we want to do everything possible to maintain that trust and belief in our integrity.

How do we maintain and build that relationship? By saying what we mean and mean what you say – everyday. Our position of leader of the family is based on our ability to be consistent with our word. By not threatening an act you have no intention of following through on, by following through on every rule you have set and agreed to with your family, will allow you to grow the respect for each other in the family and set an example that others are willing to follow.

February 3, 2011

How to build the confidence in our children

If you are the leader of a team you probably already know that there are 3 things that have a positive affect on those you are leading. First if you give them attention, affirmation and appreciation. Doing those three things will result in your team responding in a positive manner.

The same is true with our children. They need our attention and not just when they have done something that is against our rules. They need for us to give them some undivided attention, showing them their value to us. Then they need affirmation. This step of affirming their worth and value, affirming what they are doing that meets the values of our family and catching them doing the right thing is so important to building their confidence. Finally they need to know they are appreciated. Appreciation is something that all of us like to feel from those that we love. This appreciation or gratitude for being who we are and for being a part of this family will also go a long way in building the esteem of our children.

So there we have it. If we want our children to respond positively to our love and discipline give them our attention, affirmation, and appreciation and they will do so.

February 3, 2011

Fairness: Losing and winning with good attitude

Some things are going to be equal and everyone should get the same amount, and other times things will be different and yet still fair. Sometimes though fairness is determined by factors that we have a certain amount of control over.

If we are attempting to be a part of a team and there are limited positions on the team there will be choices made. Who is chosen for the team may be based on factors like, talent, effort, desire, time commitment, or even attitude. These would all be fair comparisons. Those comparisons are one’s that we do have control over how much effort and time we put into an activity.

There will be times though that when all other factors are comparable it may come down to relationships. This can seem to be very unfair, if we are on the losing side. But even our children must learn that not everything is going to go there way and that even when things do not seem to be fair, we must maintain a good attitude and not demonstrate bad character if we do lose out on something that we really wanted.

Parents can help with this by demonstrating a caring and understanding attitude for their child and not react in a vindictive manner. Remember our child is watching us in everything we say and do and will imitate our actions later.

February 2, 2011

Deep breathing brings better health

While all of us breathe without thinking about it everyday 24 hours a day, we may not be breathing in a manner that is bringing the largest benefits to our health. Breathing all the way into our diaphragms, deeply is so important for our health and even our thinking ability. The oxygen we take in affects all of the cells in our bodies from our bones and muscles to our skin and brain. In fact the very deepest part of our lungs is where the oxygen needs to get to do the best the job of helping our brain cells.

Did you know that without oxygen that the cells go from being oxygen – burning to one that ferments glucose for fuel. So it makes good sense to breathe deeply and to doing so as an exercise is a good way of getting started.

Stand up straight with your arms by your side.
Pushing down on your diaphragm and allowing your abdomen to expand, inhale to the count of 10.
Hold your breath to the count of 20.
Exhale to the count of 5.
Repeat 10 times.

If you are able to do this exercise 2 times every day, once in the morning and once in the evening, you will begin to feel your energy level increase within a short amount of time. You may want to try it at home or work, inside or outside, while taking a walk. The important part is to keep your concentration and to do it in an area where the air is as clean as possible. You probably would not want to do it near a busy highway.