annapolis | - Part 17

February 3, 2011

How to build the confidence in our children

If you are the leader of a team you probably already know that there are 3 things that have a positive affect on those you are leading. First if you give them attention, affirmation and appreciation. Doing those three things will result in your team responding in a positive manner.

The same is true with our children. They need our attention and not just when they have done something that is against our rules. They need for us to give them some undivided attention, showing them their value to us. Then they need affirmation. This step of affirming their worth and value, affirming what they are doing that meets the values of our family and catching them doing the right thing is so important to building their confidence. Finally they need to know they are appreciated. Appreciation is something that all of us like to feel from those that we love. This appreciation or gratitude for being who we are and for being a part of this family will also go a long way in building the esteem of our children.

So there we have it. If we want our children to respond positively to our love and discipline give them our attention, affirmation, and appreciation and they will do so.

February 3, 2011

Self defense for girls: 10 simple lessons

It’s this simple: Children defend themselves with their heads. It’s knowledge that protects children in today’s world. Knowledge about safety, about what to avoid, about what to do, where to go, and how to stay out of harm’s way.

I’m a part of a remarkable association of martial arts teachers, really forward thinking and action-oriented instructors, who come together almost every day to move worthwhile projects forward. The group is called The One Hundred, it’s headed by a 6th degree black belt named Tom Callos (www.tomcallos.com).

The One Hundred, all of us, work on things that are, literally, “good for the world.” Like we’re bringing diabetes education to martial arts schools and anger management training and environmental self-defense programs. This week we launched a very simple, but powerful website to help girls (young women) learn about a kind of self-defense made just for today’s world.

The site, still being added to and polished, is www.flavors.me/10Lessons. Check it out.

And if you know a young person who could use some self-defense instruction, send them our way. Tell us you visited our 10 Lessons site and we’ll give you 1-week of lessons, for free –and one thing you will NEVER get at a school in The One Hundred, is a “sales pitch.” We don’t sell over the counter, we sell by engaging in and delivering extraordinary work.

February 3, 2011

Fairness: Losing and winning with good attitude

Some things are going to be equal and everyone should get the same amount, and other times things will be different and yet still fair. Sometimes though fairness is determined by factors that we have a certain amount of control over.

If we are attempting to be a part of a team and there are limited positions on the team there will be choices made. Who is chosen for the team may be based on factors like, talent, effort, desire, time commitment, or even attitude. These would all be fair comparisons. Those comparisons are one’s that we do have control over how much effort and time we put into an activity.

There will be times though that when all other factors are comparable it may come down to relationships. This can seem to be very unfair, if we are on the losing side. But even our children must learn that not everything is going to go there way and that even when things do not seem to be fair, we must maintain a good attitude and not demonstrate bad character if we do lose out on something that we really wanted.

Parents can help with this by demonstrating a caring and understanding attitude for their child and not react in a vindictive manner. Remember our child is watching us in everything we say and do and will imitate our actions later.

February 2, 2011

Deep breathing brings better health

While all of us breathe without thinking about it everyday 24 hours a day, we may not be breathing in a manner that is bringing the largest benefits to our health. Breathing all the way into our diaphragms, deeply is so important for our health and even our thinking ability. The oxygen we take in affects all of the cells in our bodies from our bones and muscles to our skin and brain. In fact the very deepest part of our lungs is where the oxygen needs to get to do the best the job of helping our brain cells.

Did you know that without oxygen that the cells go from being oxygen – burning to one that ferments glucose for fuel. So it makes good sense to breathe deeply and to doing so as an exercise is a good way of getting started.

Stand up straight with your arms by your side.
Pushing down on your diaphragm and allowing your abdomen to expand, inhale to the count of 10.
Hold your breath to the count of 20.
Exhale to the count of 5.
Repeat 10 times.

If you are able to do this exercise 2 times every day, once in the morning and once in the evening, you will begin to feel your energy level increase within a short amount of time. You may want to try it at home or work, inside or outside, while taking a walk. The important part is to keep your concentration and to do it in an area where the air is as clean as possible. You probably would not want to do it near a busy highway.

February 2, 2011

Fairness: What it means to be fair or unfair

We have all heard it and all of us have said it and some time in our life. “The words almost always precede an argument or fight amongst siblings or even friends. They are, “THAT’S NOT FAIR.” When it is a young child saying those words it is usually about someone getting more than them or someone getting to do something that they cannot do. When it is an older child it could be about something very childish or it may be not being allowed to do something that they feel they have the right and need to do. Still further along on the age continuum as an adult we may feel that something is not fair when we see or feel an injustice being committed in the legal or political system. Or on a more personal level, an adult may feel the unfair treatment from an employer or even a friend.

Those words, that’s not fair, carry with them some very intense emotions. So what is it that makes something unfair? First as an adult we understand that the word fairness can mean different things in different situations. It may have to do with a group project that all must contribute equally for the best results. On the other hand we would not expect to provide equal amounts of help on a project to an experienced team member as we would an inexperienced one.

As a parent though, dealing with those words from younger children certainly does not carry with it the same emotions as being accused by a teen of not being fair. This month I hope to discuss this subject on a number of different levels including when we are being accused and when we can act as a mediator. The meaning we are working with is, treating others according to what’s needed, deserved, and appropriate.

February 1, 2011

Fairness: Definition

Each month we define and discuss a word of character development with all of our students.

This month the word is Fairness and will be defined this way.

Young students: Fairness means: We all get what we need and deserve

Older students: Fairness means: Treating others according to what’s needed, deserved, and appropriate.

Here are the worksheets for our students:

Fairness Tiger Tot project Fairness 5-6 project Fairness 7-12 project Fairness Teen & Adult project

If you would like to see how we will deal with this subject with our students please follow our discussions here during the month of February or come in and try a class.