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Focus – How to block out distractions

As a leader in your home, business or community you know how important it is to set goals and work towards accomplishing them. In our world today though there are more distractions than ever before. Some distractions interfere with keeping us from moving forward, and our children have distractions too.

All of us, young or older, have more distractions today than we did 10 or 20 years ago. It used to be that our distractions included the phone ringing, the needs of others and circumstances that arose in our life that took us off the path we wanted to travel. Today we still have the phone except it is there with us all of the time. We still have the needs of others, but the others include all of the social media that we have come attached to watching constantly. Also, we can look up information so quickly and then find ourselves just “browsing” and looking at cat videos, losing an hour of time without realizing it.

How do we manage all of these distractions? Here are a few suggestions.

  • Turn your phone off for periods of work time
  • Have a couple of set times during the day to check email.
  • Schedule social media time and leave it alone other times.
  • Respect your own work time and tell others you will not be available during certain hours.

Things we can do for ourselves include:

  • Get enough sleep so that you can concentrate
  • Drink water during the day
  • Get some fresh air – take a short brisk walk
  • Have a list of the thing that need to doing and then choose 5-6 items that you prioritize for the day
  • Use focused time and take breaks (Pomodoro technique)

Direct your focus. Concentrate your power. Decide what is important. Choose what you want from the day and life. Master your mission.

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Focus vs. Multitasking – Are we as good as we think?

We live in a world that focusing on one thing at a time is no longer the norm. In fact, it seems that for us to get everything done, we must multitask. So we find our attention is scattered to many “important” things that are going on in our life. But the facts indicate that this is a real problem. Take note of the finding reported on the website BrainFacts.org/ – (http://www.brainfacts.org/sensing-thinking-behaving/awareness-and-attention/articles/2013/the-multitasking-mind/)

“Whenever you need to pay attention, an area toward the front of the brain called the prefrontal cortex springs to action. This area, which spans the left and right sides of the brain, is part of the brain’s motivational system. It helps to focus your attention on a goal and coordinates messages with other brain systems to carry out the task.  While the right and left sides of the prefrontal cortex work together when focused on a single task, each side of the brain works independently when people attempt to perform two tasks at once.”

So in any given task if we are trying to do two things at once, we are only using half of our brain, with productivity going down to match. Focusing is not just a student issue, it is for adults too. Parents need focus on work, cooking, driving, repairing something and especially listening to each other and their children. Everyone in the workplace would be far more productive if their email were turned off while they focus on their tasks at hand.

Without focus, we can suffer from memory impairment, increased stress, lack creativity, and reduced productivity. Keeping our attention on the task at hand exclusively is the secret to moving forward in the direction of your goals and purpose.

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Gifts of Character: Focus – The Definition

Each month we will discuss one life skill with all of our students. This month’s skill is Focus. This life skill will be defined in the following ways for our students.

Young students: Focus  means: I pay attention even when it’s hard to do!

Older students: Focus means: Using laser-like concentration even when there are distractions.

We are not your typical after school activity, in fact, we are an education center, working with students on physical self-defense skills while empowering families to bring out the best in our children and ourselves – through the martial arts. We believe every child has 52 gifts in them already. They only need to be taught how to grow and use them in their life. Balanced Life Skills serves parents, teachers and students to reach that goal.

If you would like to see Joe Van Deuren and Balanced Life Skills at work, TRY CLASSES FOR FREE for 2 weeks.

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How to choose a positive attitude

The formula that will help us to check on our attitude is:

Thoughts become Feelings that show in Attitude that is displayed by Actions.

The good news is that we can choose and change our attitude simply by changing and choosing how we think, feel, speak and act.

 

Our thoughts may be spoken out loud or quietly to ourselves spurring a feeling about a given situation or person. Choosing different words, even changing our physiology (the way we sit, stand or walk) we begin to feel different about the situation. Our feelings are demonstrated in our attitude that is seen by others in our actions. Or we may take an action that previously we chose not to take because of how we felt about the person or situation.

 

Changing our attitude is not easy to do. One question I have found that helps in any situation that is discouraging, when we see our thoughts going negative and feel our attitude changing for the “dark side” is asking – What is good about this?  Our immediate answer, the one we make before we think about it is almost always a very strong NOTHING!
But then ask yourself, “If there was something good, what would or could it be?”  Make your brain search for the possible positive thoughts. Our brain, like Google, will find what we ask for and soon we will come up with a few answers. We are now on our way to changing our feelings, attitude, and actions.

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Can you pick out a negative attitude?

A positive attitude can grow and spread quickly, but a negative attitude compounds faster. This is especially true when we are on a team. And our family is our most important team. A positive attitude brings about unity and creates a supportive atmosphere. A negative attitude creates discord and defensive actions and feelings. How do we know if we are someone else has a negative attitude? It can be difficult sometimes but here are some of the warning signs.

 

  1. Not able to admit being wrong. Thinking we are perfect and not able to admit we made a mistake is a difficult teammate. The inability to admit mistakes creates conflict.
  2. Holding a grudge and not able to forgive. Everyone likes to be given the opportunity to make amends, and if we constantly remind them of the mistakes they have made or refuse to forgive others, it hurts the team.
  3. Jealousy of others accomplishments. Everyone has different and unique talents they bring to the team. If one person is jealous of others who have received a reward instead of being happy for them, it brings a negative feeling on to the team.
  4. The disease of “Me’ism.”  If one member of the team thinks more of themselves than others or is a hog for all the credit, it simply does not leave room for real teamwork.
  5. Always criticizing others. Being critical of others in a condescending manner never builds up. Criticism is when offered in an evil spirit can only tear down.

In the end, all negative attitudes are the result of selfishness. Our goal is to be positive and find ways of building others up and making our team work together for our vision and all that we value. Families that have that kind of respect for each other enjoy peacefulness on their team.

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Thoughts = Feelings = Attitude

With each of us having 60,000 thoughts each day, about what do you spend your time thinking? On what do you focus? Do you focus on your dreams and goals or are your thoughts drawn toward your fears and worries? Do you feel angry much of the time or do you doubt what you can accomplish?

Have you ever noticed that when you smile at someone they almost always smile back?  They simply cannot help it, even if they are not sure why you are smiling. What we put out into the Universe is what comes back to us. The same applies to our thoughts. If we fill ourselves with positive thoughts, we always get positive feelings back. When negative thoughts go out negative emotions, come back.

If we are not sure if we have negative thoughts, then just ask yourself how you are feeling. Your feelings give you immediate feedback on the type of thoughts you are choosing.

Negative thoughts = Negative feelings = Negative experiences

It is easy for us to get caught up in a pattern of negative thoughts as we have not only our personal self-talk but many say that our children hear seven times as many negative thoughts as they do positive ones about themselves. No wonder our kids experience anxiety, anger, disappointment and confusion.

Consider what you say to yourself and your children. Negative thoughts become habitual, like a video or recording playing over and over again in the mind, until we never question them. If we do not question them, it is impossible to change the results. The cure is to notice your thoughts, question if they are true, replace them with positive thoughts.

Positive thoughts = Positive feelings = Positive attitude.

When surrounded by positive attitudes, we all experience more peaceful feelings. I will be offering an Introduction to Speaking the Language of the Virtues in the coming months. Please look to attend, as there is no better way to awaken the positive gifts of character in each of us.