Blog | - Part 43

October 14, 2014

Respect for yourself – 3 part formula for great health – SLEEP

When we talk about respect we must talk about showing respect for yourself. You matter. You are valuable. One of the most valuable thing that matters the most is our health. Staying healthy and taking care of our bodies has a simple formula.

Eat healthy foods + Exercise + Sleep

Cheat on any of these and you will survive (for a while) but you will not perform at your best.

Here are some tips for the sleep part of our formula.

Go to bed at the same time every night.
Get up in the morning at the same time every morning.
Get 8 – 12 hours of sleep a night depending on your age.
Young children need more sleep than adults, but even adults should get 7-8 hours every night.
Turn off all electronics 1 hour prior to heading off to bed.
Do not do homework or emails (work) laying in bed
Have a nighttime routine
Be careful of the foods and drink that you have in the evening. Some of them will inhibit your sleep patterns.

Try these and see a whole new kind of energy for your body. This is one way of showing respect for yourself.

October 13, 2014

Respectful actions shows others our feelings of value

The demonstration of respect for others by sharing and taking turns says to the other person, “You matter.” Learning to share for a very young person can be a difficult lesson for some. Especially when we are young, the world naturally revolves around only one person – me. But as our children get older, helping them to see the needs of others and even what they may want is part of their learning to respect or value those needs later.

Our children will learn that sharing and taking turns may not be the ‘fun’ thing to do at this moment. Most likely though it is the fair thing to do. Gaining the reputation of being fair, of sharing and taking turns is a way of maintaining friendships.

Even the words we use when we are in conversation with others demonstrates respect. Saying please and thank you, I am sorry, excuse me – are all ways that we show that we see the other person and their feelings as valuable. It shows others that we that we want them to feel that we appreciate them and their needs and wants.

It is not just about knowing and practicing what is expected socially. Good manners and being fair must become a part of who we are as a person – if the respect is not just a show for others, but rather is who we are as a person.

October 13, 2014

We are aware – Now we need to change

In NJ there has been an incident of hazing that has rocked the community. There are still some on both sides of the story, some accepting it as a part of ‘team’, and some still afraid to speak out openly. Here is our take on this situation.

Hazing is bullying. Bullying is abuse and while it is good to hear that it is being recognized as such, the idea that the students in this latest incident “tolerated and in general accepted” this culture and behaviors – it tells us that is was also tolerated and accepted by the adults in the school.

At this point those who have been targeted with the hazing are still afraid to voice their grievances out loud. On Sunday night this particular community is gathering for an anti-bullying community event to raise awareness in the community and “to help in the healing process”. Here is my take on this:

We are already aware.

We are aware that bullying in not acceptable. No one thinks it is an acceptable behavior, especially when it is happening to them or to their child. Generally very few people have stepped up to change anything until there is a major incident like this one that has affected them personally.

We are aware.
There are enough posters.
There are enough sayings.
There are enough laws and rules.

What we have not done is change culture. Until we change the culture in our schools, with everyone – parents, administrators, teachers, students – we will continue to have these kind of incidents. All of us determined to create a culture of peace in our schools and communities can be very powerful

October 10, 2014

What would you do if you saw someone being bullied?

This week we worked on What would you do if you saw someone being bullied? There were a lot of good comments, but our practice was on speaking the words “In our school we do not treat people like that.” These are not easy words to get out, especially in front of your friends. Hence the reason we must practice them. So we did some role play with our students.

What do you think? There are many ways of reacting, this is just one. The most important one is being careful not to go along with the aggressor by taking part in making fun of another person or laughing at them when others are making fun of them. Start with that – but then find the courage to step up and say – In our school we don’t treat people like that.

October 9, 2014

Actions that show respect

Demonstrating respect by our actions or behavior is an important part of learning about respect. Sometimes the mere repeated action of using a ‘manner’ that are acceptable in the society you live in, help to create a better attitude and way of treating others. What are some the “acts” that we will demonstrate and teach to our children that look like respect? Here is just one.

Helping others – When we help others it shows that they matter. It may be by assisting with dinner prep, putting our clothes in the correct place, or carrying the groceries in. In school we turn our assignments in on time and they are neat and legible. It may be that our teacher would like us to clean up the room after an activity. In our classes at Balanced Life Skills, helping others may be as simple as not talking while instruction is being given to actually helping others learn how to do a new skill. When we help others we are showing that they and their time are important. We show that the other persons needs and even their wants are important.

Demonstrating ‘helping others’ in our own life and encouraging doing the same with our children sets a culture, an expectation, that our children will see is a part of being in the family, school or community. Life is not just about ourselves. Seeing the needs of others and then helping them to the best of our ability is what “we do” as a family or school or community. When we put that into action, when we feel that returned to us – respect is being cultivated.

Are there other actions you can think of that you think of when you think of respect? What other actions show that you care?

October 8, 2014

What do you have the courage to do when you see bullying?

This week in our self defense class we are working on the question,

“What would you do if… You see someone being bullied?

There are many ways that you could react – but the real question is what do you have the courage to do?

Do you have the courage to avoid joining in with the name calling or laughing at the target of the aggressive behavior? Or is it easier and feel safer to be a part of the crowd?
Do you have the courage to report to an adult? Or are you afraid of being called a snitch?
Do you have the courage to tell the bully to STOP! Or are you afraid of being turned on and becoming the target?
Do you have the courage to request your friends to stand up to the aggressor? Or are you afraid of being made fun of not going along with the group?
Do you have the courage to support and befriend the target or victim of the bullying? Or are you afraid of losing other friends?

All of these actions require different levels of courage. All of the parent’s or teacher’s we must remember that, all of these actions are doable if there is a culture in the classroom and school or in the family and community that requires kindness be shown to each other.

Balanced Life Skills is teaching our students to say:

“STOP! In our school we do not treat each other like that!”

We could also say, “In our family” or “in our community”, or “on our team we do not……”

The practice of kindness, the recognition of the value of each other is what respect is built on. Respect is the ability to see and celebrate the VALUE in ourselves and others and behave accordingly. We should not be demanding “behaviors” if we are not also helping all in our community and families to see and celebrate the value of all people.