Blog | - Part 136

February 7, 2011

Maintaining the trust of our children

We all know the importance of trust and integrity in our relationships. There is no place where that is more important than in the relationship that we have with our family members and especially our children. Warren Bennis said in his book that integrity “is the one quality that cannot be acquired but must be earned.”

It is as Stephen Covey talks about, like a bank account. We build it a little at a time by what we say and do. We can make withdrawals too, by not living up to our word or doing what we say we are going to do. Interestingly though, like in a construction project, it is easier to tear something down than it is to build it up. In regard to our children, they come into the world trusting us to the fullest. They depend on us for everything. So we want to do everything possible to maintain that trust and belief in our integrity.

How do we maintain and build that relationship? By saying what we mean and mean what you say – everyday. Our position of leader of the family is based on our ability to be consistent with our word. By not threatening an act you have no intention of following through on, by following through on every rule you have set and agreed to with your family, will allow you to grow the respect for each other in the family and set an example that others are willing to follow.

February 3, 2011

How to build the confidence in our children

If you are the leader of a team you probably already know that there are 3 things that have a positive affect on those you are leading. First if you give them attention, affirmation and appreciation. Doing those three things will result in your team responding in a positive manner.

The same is true with our children. They need our attention and not just when they have done something that is against our rules. They need for us to give them some undivided attention, showing them their value to us. Then they need affirmation. This step of affirming their worth and value, affirming what they are doing that meets the values of our family and catching them doing the right thing is so important to building their confidence. Finally they need to know they are appreciated. Appreciation is something that all of us like to feel from those that we love. This appreciation or gratitude for being who we are and for being a part of this family will also go a long way in building the esteem of our children.

So there we have it. If we want our children to respond positively to our love and discipline give them our attention, affirmation, and appreciation and they will do so.

February 3, 2011

Self defense for girls: 10 simple lessons

It’s this simple: Children defend themselves with their heads. It’s knowledge that protects children in today’s world. Knowledge about safety, about what to avoid, about what to do, where to go, and how to stay out of harm’s way.

I’m a part of a remarkable association of martial arts teachers, really forward thinking and action-oriented instructors, who come together almost every day to move worthwhile projects forward. The group is called The One Hundred, it’s headed by a 6th degree black belt named Tom Callos (www.tomcallos.com).

The One Hundred, all of us, work on things that are, literally, “good for the world.” Like we’re bringing diabetes education to martial arts schools and anger management training and environmental self-defense programs. This week we launched a very simple, but powerful website to help girls (young women) learn about a kind of self-defense made just for today’s world.

The site, still being added to and polished, is www.flavors.me/10Lessons. Check it out.

And if you know a young person who could use some self-defense instruction, send them our way. Tell us you visited our 10 Lessons site and we’ll give you 1-week of lessons, for free –and one thing you will NEVER get at a school in The One Hundred, is a “sales pitch.” We don’t sell over the counter, we sell by engaging in and delivering extraordinary work.

February 3, 2011

Fairness: Losing and winning with good attitude

Some things are going to be equal and everyone should get the same amount, and other times things will be different and yet still fair. Sometimes though fairness is determined by factors that we have a certain amount of control over.

If we are attempting to be a part of a team and there are limited positions on the team there will be choices made. Who is chosen for the team may be based on factors like, talent, effort, desire, time commitment, or even attitude. These would all be fair comparisons. Those comparisons are one’s that we do have control over how much effort and time we put into an activity.

There will be times though that when all other factors are comparable it may come down to relationships. This can seem to be very unfair, if we are on the losing side. But even our children must learn that not everything is going to go there way and that even when things do not seem to be fair, we must maintain a good attitude and not demonstrate bad character if we do lose out on something that we really wanted.

Parents can help with this by demonstrating a caring and understanding attitude for their child and not react in a vindictive manner. Remember our child is watching us in everything we say and do and will imitate our actions later.

February 3, 2011

Book & Toy Swap, Annapolis, MD

On Sunday, February 13th from 1:00-3:00 PM, Balanced Life Skills will be hosting a FREE “Book and Toy Swap” at the studio – open to the public. The idea is to GIVE books and toys your family no longer uses, and TAKE books and toys your family is interested in – for free.

The Book and Toy Swap not only helps the environment by reducing the number of items that might otherwise end up in landfills, but also benefits local charities. At the end of the event, all unclaimed items will be donated for charitable purposes – one of which is the “Prize Project” at John Hopkins Hospital, where children recovering from surgery are given “prizes” to make them more comfortable and to aid them in the recovery process (more on this community service project to come!).

book swap flier Please feel free to print and distribute as many as you wish or circulate it through your email contacts. Also, please consider advertising this event at your child(ren)’s school(s).

If you have any questions, you are welcomed to contact BLS directly, or call the number on the flier.

As always, thank you for your kindness and generosity!

February 2, 2011

Deep breathing brings better health

While all of us breathe without thinking about it everyday 24 hours a day, we may not be breathing in a manner that is bringing the largest benefits to our health. Breathing all the way into our diaphragms, deeply is so important for our health and even our thinking ability. The oxygen we take in affects all of the cells in our bodies from our bones and muscles to our skin and brain. In fact the very deepest part of our lungs is where the oxygen needs to get to do the best the job of helping our brain cells.

Did you know that without oxygen that the cells go from being oxygen – burning to one that ferments glucose for fuel. So it makes good sense to breathe deeply and to doing so as an exercise is a good way of getting started.

Stand up straight with your arms by your side.
Pushing down on your diaphragm and allowing your abdomen to expand, inhale to the count of 10.
Hold your breath to the count of 20.
Exhale to the count of 5.
Repeat 10 times.

If you are able to do this exercise 2 times every day, once in the morning and once in the evening, you will begin to feel your energy level increase within a short amount of time. You may want to try it at home or work, inside or outside, while taking a walk. The important part is to keep your concentration and to do it in an area where the air is as clean as possible. You probably would not want to do it near a busy highway.