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Vision: Definition

Each month we define and discuss a word of character development with all of our students.

This month the word is Vision and will be defined this way.

Young students: Vision means: I can see my goals!  (in my imagination)

Older students: Vision means to clearly imagine my goals as if I’ve already achieved them.

Here are the worksheets for our students:

Vision Tiger Tot worksheet Vision 5/6 worksheet Vision 7-12 worksheet Vision Adult / Teens worksheet

If you would like to see how we will deal with this subject with our students please follow our discussions here during the month of January or come in and try a class.

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3 keys to communication in the family

When I talk to our students about Teamwork I point out to them that the most important team that we are on is our FAMILY.  No other team needs the cooperation and vision that our family needs for long term success of all members.  Of course the leaders of that team is Mom & Dad.  While every team leader has different responsibilities, there are a couple of foundational standards that are true for all teams and especially families.

1.  Be consistent. Whether it is setting the rules, the making of decisions or in keeping our word, consistency is one standard that team members depend on.

2.  Be clear. Set forth what the values, morals and ethics are for your family.  Setting these expectations make it clear to all what is expected and it is much easier to follow a leader with clear expectations.

3.  Be courteous. By showing respect for everyone in your family, even the child that is giving you the hardest time at that moment, as a leader you are setting the tone for the family.  Everyone in the family is watching to see how you will deal with the member of your team that is not following the rules, determining for themselves how they will be treated.  Trust and respect can be gained or lost based on our being courteous to one another.

Teams / Families always reflect their leaders.  As the leader of our team / family we set the tone for respect being shown to each other and to those on the outside.   By setting the example with consistent, clear, and courteous communication with our team, the team will be more willing to participate and voice their thoughts and feelings, which in the end is what all parents want to have with their children.

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2011: What are you excited about?

Drawing to the end of the year is a time that we reflect on the year behind and on the one yet to come.   As you look forward to the year ahead, what are you looking forward to?  What is it that you are excited about?  What are you wanting to learn about?

When you make it a goal to always be learning and to expanding you are constantly recharging your batteries.  There is an excitement about getting up in the morning to get on to the next discovery.  Tony Robbins suggests that when we get up in the morning that we ask ourselves What am I most happy, excited, proud and grateful about today.  This starts the day off in an optimistic mood.   If we start our years, months and days like that, everyday will be a day of personal growth.

I have found that as I grow, it brings improvement not only to myself, but also to those who might be in my circle of influence.  As many of you already know I am working to have an affect on the subject of bullying this year.  In particular interest that I want to learn more about is the subject of relational aggression.  Known as RA in the group of individuals studying bullies and in particular among females this is one of those under the radar ways of bullying that has very long term affect on the lives and personalities of our young girls and women.  That is one of the areas that I want to improve my knowledge and understanding.

What about yourself?  Are you interested in that subject or what is it that you want to grow in this year?  What areas are you encouraging your children to grow?  Leave your comments here or send me an email and let me know.

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Goal setting: Fall down 7, Get up 8

One of the most difficult parenting challenges we have is seeing our child fail at a task that we know that they really want to achieve.  In fact many parents have a tendency to do everything in their power to not allow their child fail – at almost anything.  We have discussed before how important it is for children to learn that failure is part of life and that we can reorganize and try again.  I am reminded of Thomas Edison, who after his factory burned to the ground said something to the affect of, that now they could get started on some new and better ideas.

This is a good time of the year as we look at what we have done this year and see the areas of our own failure to reach a goal to evaluate how we will react.  Our own reaction will teach our children how to reevaluate and move forward.  Take a look at this acronym and use it as a guide to moving forward.

F – finalize your goal

O – order your plans

R – risk failing by taking action

W – welcome mistakes

A – advance based on your character

R – reevaluate your progress continually

D – develop new strategies to succeed

If you stay determined, and are willing to get up when you have been knocked down, you will achieve not only your goals but also your dreams.

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Friendship: Manipulation is not acceptable

Here is the story of two individuals that were “friends”.  Their story line goes like this:

When we first met it was like she saw into me soul, I could say anything and everything thing to her we just clicked and it was just amazing!

After some time she started becoming really negative and forceful, she made me feel bad for certain ways I would feel towards the friendship.

Then she would constantly put me down in front of others and shut down my thoughts so she would be the main point of my life and nothing else.

Then I started constantly feeling unworthy of her friendship.

In our conversations she would always tell me how much she liked the friendship of others, making me think that I was a second rate friend.

I stopped talking to her at one stage and she apologized for what she was doing, but then a few weeks later she started acting the same and would put all her problems on me and make me feel bad.

Have you ever experienced this happen in a friendship?  Do you recognize yourself on either side of this description?  When things like this starts to happen in a friendship it is not a good sign.  In fact one of the parties is manipulating the other and this can lead to real damage being done.  There are three different kind of manipulators, those who need to be needed, wants to be in charge or wants to be pitied and manipulates by appearing to be weak.

Anytime manipulation is involve some one gets hurt.  Manipulation can be seen as early in life as in pre-school and the damage begins to take affect immediately.  It can lead to the victims being bully victims later in school and eventually into being victims of abuse in dating or marriage.  Here is a list of signs of manipulation or an abusive relationship.  This may be in a boy / girl dating relationship, marriage or in a friendship at school, the principles are all the same.

Continue reading “Friendship: Manipulation is not acceptable”

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Attitude: Your most important asset in relationships

In the course that some of our students are taking this fall, Excellence in Leadership, one of the drills that we do is list all the qualities that a leader should have.  In fact we explore what we would like to see in a number of different relationships.  All of them are marked as either being a Skill or an Attitude.

Consistently when I do this drill the Attitudes dominate the list, no matter if the relationship is with your parents, teacher, sibling, friend, workmate… it just doesn’t matter, Attitude dominates.  In a poll done of the 100 largest businesses in America of the single biggest reason individuals are fired, reasons that would be noted as attitude again dominate the list.

While 30 percent are fired due to incompetence (skill)  all of the rest of the highest rated reasons were attitude related including lack of motivation, negative attitude, dishonesty, inability to get along, failure to follow instructions. Our attitude determines what we see and how we handle our actions and feelings.   Our attitude is something that we can change at the snap of our fingers if we chose to do so, while a skill is something that we need to be trained in or study to learn how to do.

This asset of Attitude is responsible for our success in every relationship that we have 85% of the time, while actual skills training is responsible only 15% of the time according to The Carnegie Institute.   When things are not going the way that we would like to see them go, we may want to stop and think about our attitude and how that may help the situation or relationship.