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Developing Solid Relationships With Our Children

As a leader in a business you know the importance of relationships.  If you are on a school advisory board or work on a committee in any social situation, it is relationships that can make the difference in successful projects.  If you know someone from other parts of their lives, you will know better what makes them tick, what their strengths and weaknesses are.  All of this comes from spending time with them outside the committee, employment or social environment you are presently working in.

Much the same with your family and children.  If you can spend some time with your children outside of the time of taking them to and from school and their activities, you will learn a lot more about them.  You may even help prevent some of the most commons ails of children today.  It was said to me one time by a psychologist,  that if a parent would spend just one hour per week with each of their child alone, doing something that they enjoyed doing, outside of the normal things that you do, that we would rid ourselves of a very large percentage of the ADHD cases that we have in America today.

Developing relationships with your children in this manner, will allow you to lead them in other areas of their lives more effectively.  It will help both of you to grow in your relationship along with social and emotional growth.  The confidence your child will gain with the feeling of really belonging to a well lead family unit will go a long way in keeping them safe from many of the obstacles and road bumps children meet today.

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The Value of Your Time

Our time is valuable and all parents have the same reaction when we see how fast our children grow up.  I look at my own family and here we are with our youngest who will be graduating from college this spring.  Where did the time go?  We have learned about the formative years and we know that our relationships with our children will have an impact on how things go in their teen years.  Yes our time is valuable – especially with our children.

In fact we hear the term spending our time.  This is a very real term.  In the stead of thinking about how we spend our money, we may want to think about this in terms of money.  If we are going to take 5 years to save enough to pay for an item, no matter what the item is, we are in fact spending one- twelfth of our adult life for this item.  Is this item worth spending that amount of time?

Talk to anyone in their 50’s or 60’s and you will hear that what and how they think about their time is different.  They begin thinking about what they will be remembered for, what will they contribute to their community and society, the world?  I would suggest that now is the time to think about those things.  If we can help parents and young students to ask themselves, What is worth spending my life on?  What is on my agenda today that is worthy of my life?

Each of us have the same number of hours in the day and week.  Once it is gone, there is no bringing it back.  In the matter of time management, one question that will impact your effectiveness is, What are the 4 or 5  things that I can do today that will have the biggest impact on my children, my goals and life?  The time we spend with our children, the guidance on a day to day basis that we give to them is one thing that will have a very large impact on them, on the world and your own happiness.  Seeing your work in that light may just change the way you manage your time.

Whats on your schedule today?  Are they worthy of your life?

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Self Defense: Personal Safety Strategies for Children and Adults

In the past week in our own local area there have been a number of assaults that have taken place, one of them on a young victim.  This is troubling to me personally and I hope that some of the tips that we offer here will be helpful to some in our community.  Just today an interview with some safety experts by PATCH was published on line and we were asked to show a couple of simple techniques in a video taken at our studio.  I have attached a link to that interview and video.

In addition please find some basic safety rules that every child should know and parents should require of their children.  In our martial arts school we talk about self defense in a number of different ways and levels.  Our training is always age appropriate in a manner of the way it is taught and what is taught.  Self Defense is a part of our classes and we offer courses for individuals both on safety and bully prevention.

General safety tips (pdf)

One final note on Self Defense.  Self Defense is more than just getting out of bad situations or away from bad guys.  The Balanced Life Skills self defense taught in our classes also deals with all the other things in life that will hurt us, like dealing with anger, our diets (diabetes), practicing environmental awareness and more.  I personally believe that we must learn to protect ourselves from everything that can harm us.

For anyone who has been a victim of attack, please feel free to call and talk to us.  We are happy to help you in learning how to protect yourself and your loved ones.

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Balanced Life Skills will be closed today

logoDue to the icy conditions and the closing of public schools due to inclement weather, Balanced Life Skills will be closed.  Our policy is to follow the AA County School Systems policy.  If anyone has any questions about their schedule please feel free to contact us through the website and we will get back to you as soon as possible.

Don’t forget the special offer that ends on January 31st for all adults who would like to try our classes.  See the SPECIAL OFFER HERE.

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Building a strong team with your family starts with relationships

The relationships we have with those that we lead, will have an affect on their willingness to want to help us on our projects.  In family life as parents, the relationships we have with our spouse and our children also affect how well the team works together.  The stronger the relationships are, the more understanding there is of one another, and the greater the connection.

While much has been written about building those relationships here are a few guidelines that will make a difference in our family relationships, ultimately building a stronger team.

1.  Know who you are and what your values and goals are.  Your relationships with family members starts with knowing yourself first and then being yourself.

2.  Communication with your children and family, regularly spotlighting the efforts of all to achieve the teams goals and praising with sincerity and accurateness.

3.  Know every family member and what they care about deep inside.  This is especially important for spouses.  If one in the family has a passion for a subject or art,  working together to give time to pursue that will speak volumes to the children.  The team can have varied interest – but all will be set to the tune of achieving their goals.

4.  Live your message by practicing what you preach.  What you value, your ethics and morals will be seen by your children long before they hear your speeches.

5.  Go to where they are, not expecting your children to have the same interest as yourself.  Showing that kind of respect will open any communication barriers and you can find a way to teach from that perspective.  As it was once said, They do not care how much you know, till they know how much you care.

6.  Focus on other family members and you will be loved for your selflessness.  Their love and respect will be returned for many years to come.  Allowing all in the family to be who they are, while working together to reach the goals and fulfill the mission of the family, will create an atmosphere of love and respect.

7.  Believe in them, even when things are not going the way they or you thought that they might.  Recognizing the value of each person as an individual in the family will go a long way to building the communication and respect for each other.

8.  Offer direction and hope to all members of your team.  Ultimately as a leader, parents set the goals of the team.  Once the goals are set, the vision seen, our job as parents is to help all on the team to believe in the outcome and see the possibilities of achieving the goal.

Celebrate often.  As progress on your goals and mission are seen – celebrate the success, giving credit to the team members.

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Be Safe: How to spot a bad situation

We have in the past week seen a most horrific crime take place in Tucson Arizona.  The shooting of so many individuals, resulting in the death of 6 and the physical and emotional injury to not just the individuals at the public event, but an entire nation.  This event reminds us that we must be aware of our surroundings at all times and be aware of the actions of individuals that may be a warning sign of danger.

This is not to say that any of the suggestions here would have helped on that day in Tucson, but these reminders may help us avoid a situation that may occur at a sporting event, or at the mall –  but only if we are sensitive to the possibilities.

How to spot a possible bad situation:

  • Is there a person who seems to be agitated or preoccupied
  • How are they speaking? Listen for the words they may be saying or how they are saying it.
  • Is there a change in their voice?  Did it get louder or very quiet?
  • Are there signs of stress in their voice or facial expression?  Does the individual looked like they are in a daze or without any expression?
  • Are their eyes becoming more narrow or darting about?
  • Are there aggressive gestures that go along with angry outburst?
  • Is there a behavior that is not appropriate for the situation, anything that seems strange to you?

We do not want to become paranoid about every person we see or a recluse out of fear.  But if we do see situations that fit the questions we have asked, it may be a good idea to remove ourselves from that situation or vicinity.  Doing so may save our life and that of our loved ones.