Self-reliance and when to ask for help

It is a sign of self-reliance when you are trying something new. It is also a sign that your confidence is growing, you are willing to try a new skill, not knowing if you will get it or make a mistake or if it will work or fail. Your confidence in your ability to figure it out is taking you to that next level. However, what happens after you have tried and it did not work the way you hoped? What happens if you are not getting it yet?

You have three choices before you. The first choice is to keep trying on your own. That choice shows a great deal of perseverance, determination, and commitment to your task. The second choice is to give up and let go of the idea of learning. This choice may be an invitation to develop another virtue possibly your determination, or it could be diligence or even humility. What do we mean by that? It has to do with your third choice, and that is you could ask for help.

It takes humility, modesty even courage to know when it is time to ask for help from someone who has already gained this skill. So if you are stuck on a math problem in school or do not know how to start a report you need to write, whom could you ask for help? It could be your teacher, your parents or even a classmate if you know they have that skill. How do you know when to ask for help?

Certainly, if you do not understand what you are working on, getting clarification and pointers is a great way to get yourself started again on your goal. If you are doing something that could be unsafe or you could get hurt, asking for help is a wise choice. Let’s say you want to go skiing, but you have never skied before. You could get hurt if you went down the wrong side of the mountain without the skill needed. Taking lessons and getting help would be wise.

However, if you are asking for help for something that you just do not feel like doing that is not practicing fairness to those around you. So if it is your contribution to the family to take the trash out and you just do not feel like it, you may want to think about the fairness to others in your family. You may consider whose responsibility it is and see it as an invitation to practice your responsibility, dependability, and trustworthiness.

All of us at some time have not felt like doing something that was our responsibility. However, if we are growing our self-reliance, we step up and take care of what we are capable of doing. At the same time if you need some help, if you really cannot do what is asked of you, practice humility and courage and ask for the help you need. Then next time you may be able to demonstrate your self-reliance by doing the task by yourself.

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