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You are most likely to know your attacker – now defend yourself

Attackers are more likely to be someone you know than it is for them to be a stranger.  This is especially true for a young person.  Many times the attacker feels a grudge for the other person, doesn’t like them for some reason or has been encouraged to attack them by others.

What can you do if someone tries to pick a fight with you or is pushing all of your buttons?  Unfortunately if you decide to take them on physically you may be making a bad situation worst.  Once the aggressor has decided you are their target they have already put themselves into a higher state of aggression with adrenaline running high.  They may have mind altering substances in their body which are making them irrational.  If you engage that personality, you may be in for a physical fight that could have been avoided.

Can you de-esculate the situation?  In many cases you are able to de-esculate long enough for you to remove yourself from the area.  This is very important if the aggressor has got you alone or away from others.  It is harder to do when there are others around, not because we cannot use our skills to de-esculate, but rather because our ego or theirs may be getting into the way.

This is not the time to prove how strong or talented we are in the area of ‘beating someone up’.  It makes more rational sense to allow ourselves to be seen by others as less than, and survive, than to be trying to prove a point. Using our words to de-esculate may not always work, but our staying calm will not make the situation worse.  Saying and doing things that do not threaten your attacker can give you some control.

In the end if the aggressor continues – then of course you must defend yourself, even physically.  Learning how to do so and practicing in a safe environment like Balanced Life Skills is the best way to be prepared.


What would you do if you saw someone being bullied?

This week we worked on What would you do if you saw someone being bullied?  There were a lot of good comments, but our practice was on speaking the words “In our school we do not treat people like that.”   These are not easy words to get out, especially in front of your friends.  Hence the reason we must practice them.  So we did some role play with our students.

What do you think? There are many ways of reacting, this is just one.  The most important one is being careful not to go along with the aggressor by taking part in making fun of another person or laughing at them when others are making fun of them.  Start with that – but then find the courage to step up and say – In our school we don’t treat people like that.


Strange car self defense

“What would you do if a car pulled up in front of your house and they asked you to help them find their puppy?”  This was the first in our series of What would you do if…

When teaching children we must be careful not to frighten them about life and people – but we must have a level of awareness that keeps them vigilant.  Then again, that is true of all of us.   Giving regular and fun attention to the subjects is key to learning and being able to use what we learn.  Here is one of the exercises we did in our class on the Strange Car!