We show respect for property because we have placed a value on it. We want our students to understand that we show we value a book, stuffed toy or other physical things by the way we treat it. Here is how this class discussed this subject. This chat will open up conversations at home – Do you value this object, or your room? How will you show that this is important to you? Being able to fall back on these conversations as a parent gives you a starting point that all agree on. Respect is the way we behave when we value someone, ourselves or property. Let me know how your conversations go!
Showing respect for property – when visiting other homes
The expectation we have for others to show respect for items that matter to us is the same that others have for us. When we are invited to another persons home how do you show respect for the things that matter to them?
It may begin with our entry into the home. Does the family take their shoes off at the door, then we should follow suit. We may even ask if this is the custom. Once we are inside do we wait to be invited into various parts of the house. If the children are asked to go upstairs into the bedrooms – do you make sure that permission is asked of the parents of the house.
When visiting others in their home, being careful with their belongings – furniture, dishes, toys, all show that the things that matter to others also matters to us. That is respect – the behavior of valuing others and their property.
Respect can be shown to others with our manners too. We will want to show appreciation with our words and actions for the hospitality shown to us. Saying thank you for food and other provisions along with appreciation for the invitation to spend the time with them. Yes, even their time is a valuable commodity that we show respect for. When the agreed time limit for the visit is met – then without complaining we will make our way back to our own home – without complaining or begging for more time to be spent.
As I prepared this post I was thinking how well this tied into the practice of empathy. Asking ourselves how the other person feels and even then taking our level of respect up a notch or two. Remember empathy is not just treating others the way we would want to be treated. It really is treating others the way they would like to be treated and that includes their personal property.
Understanding respect of property – ours or others
Respect for ourselves, respect for others, and now showing respect for property – both our own and that of others. Lets start with items that might belong to us, a book, bike, a drawing or toy. Remember we talked about how “respect is the behavior shown something or someone that we value”. All of us can understand the value we place on items that we own. We may have a special book that we love – we value – it was given to us by a special person in our life or we love the story. We personally want to take care of it, being sure to put it away in a special place. We are careful not to tear the pages or break the binding. When we share it with others, we tell them how special it is to us and give them the rules we have for sharing it with them. We treat this book “like it matters’. We value it and expect others to do the same.
Lets imagine that we own a bike – a very special bike exactly what we always wanted. How would we show respect for this gift from our parents or grandparents? Would we leave it out in the driveway, laying on the ground overnight, or out in the rain? Of course not. We would want to be sure that we cared for it as if it really mattered to us. If someone wanted to borrow it we may choose to say, “I do not lend my bike out.” or we may lend it with the request that they treat it with ‘respect’.
We can think of items that are important to our friends and family too. Sometimes they are items that came from their parents or have special significance due to who or where they came from. With these items, we would be sure to ask for permission to touch, hold or borrow them. I remember a special necklace that my wife wore that her grandmother had given her. There was no great monetary value to the necklace, it was valued because of who had gifted the item. That sort of special meaning and comfort from that item – made it irreplaceable.
Respect for property, whether it is ours or others is all based on understanding the value of the item, monetary, sentimental or because it was gifted to us.
How to show respect for yourself
Showing respect for ourselves goes beyond the four ways we discussed in class this week:
- Healthy eating
- exercise
- proper amount of sleep
- personal hygiene
To have a real self respect it is also important not to be talked into risking our physical or mental health with bad habits such as smoking or drugs. In fact many young people are drawn into that with a dare from others – a dare to do unhealthy or even dangerous acts. But a person who has respect for themselves will not succumb to the ‘peer’ pressure. We know that ‘we matter’. We value our health and our bodies.
Beyond those things that seem so obvious, it is shows respect for our life when we have a goal or a mission. Even young people can have a mission or a purpose. Having this spelled out, understood that this is why I am doing what I am doing will help us keep everything in perspective. Having and reaching a goal also acts as a building block to the next and possibly larger goal. As we reach them, our self respect goes up, resulting in greater confidence and self esteem.
I was so happy to hear our students when talking about self respect say very early in the conversation that we should speak to ourselves in a positive manner and not put ourselves down if we make a mistake or fail to get something that we were hoping for. They really got the message we talked about when discussing confidence.
Respect for yourself – 3 part formula for great health – SLEEP
When we talk about respect we must talk about showing respect for yourself. You matter. You are valuable. One of the most valuable thing that matters the most is our health. Staying healthy and taking care of our bodies has a simple formula.
Eat healthy foods + Exercise + Sleep
Cheat on any of these and you will survive (for a while) but you will not perform at your best.
Here are some tips for the sleep part of our formula.
- Go to bed at the same time every night.
- Get up in the morning at the same time every morning.
- Get 8 – 12 hours of sleep a night depending on your age.
- Young children need more sleep than adults, but even adults should get 7-8 hours every night.
- Turn off all electronics 1 hour prior to heading off to bed.
- Do not do homework or emails (work) laying in bed
- Have a nighttime routine
- Be careful of the foods and drink that you have in the evening. Some of them will inhibit your sleep patterns.
Try these and see a whole new kind of energy for your body. This is one way of showing respect for yourself.
Respectful actions shows others our feelings of value
The demonstration of respect for others by sharing and taking turns says to the other person, “You matter.” Learning to share for a very young person can be a difficult lesson for some. Especially when we are young, the world naturally revolves around only one person – me. But as our children get older, helping them to see the needs of others and even what they may want is part of their learning to respect or value those needs later.
Our children will learn that sharing and taking turns may not be the ‘fun’ thing to do at this moment. Most likely though it is the fair thing to do. Gaining the reputation of being fair, of sharing and taking turns is a way of maintaining friendships.
Even the words we use when we are in conversation with others demonstrates respect. Saying please and thank you, I am sorry, excuse me – are all ways that we show that we see the other person and their feelings as valuable. It shows others that we that we want them to feel that we appreciate them and their needs and wants.
It is not just about knowing and practicing what is expected socially. Good manners and being fair must become a part of who we are as a person – if the respect is not just a show for others, but rather is who we are as a person.