The P in SPARK stands for PASSION. Developing passion in our children is something that we all would like to see happen. Sometimes we see a child who seems passionate about a sport or another activity, but find out it is really about their friends being there and not really passion. On the other hand we may have a child who does not seem to be interested in anything – and isn’t that frustrating, especially if we feel like all they want to do is sit and …..(fill in the blank)
Our job as a parent is to expose our children to a variety of activities and interests. While we may find one child interested in reading or math – another child may have a passion for one particular sport or activity like horseback riding or nature. Some children will thrive with competition and teams while others would rather do something by themselves. The martial arts if taught in a manner that does not promote competition may be a perfect fit for someone who does not want to compete. If we are not sure where their head is at, we can keep trying by listening to them and paying attention to what appears to make them happy. Then you can do what you can to expose them to and promote their interest.
One word of warning though. Not all children will be interested in the same things and certainly not interested in what the parents may want them to be interested in. Trying to find what our child is passionate for calls for a certain amount of non-ownership, allowing the child to express themselves and then doing what you can to support their interest.
One small side note: One of my children, the youngest, showed an interest in books and films. He would spend hours reading and watching films. As he was exposed to that world more and more he eventually went to college for creative writing and now has a book published. I can tell you that understanding the level of that passion and watching him go to a college for writing is hard for a parent – but one that has resulted in a very happy young adult.
Teaching our child to persevere in any activity calls for S.P.A.R.K. We have talked to our students about the how this works, but here are some thoughts that we can look at from a parents point of view. The S in SPARK stands for SUPPORT.
Our showing of support for our children gives them permission to be creative and affirmation of a parents interest in their activities. Supporting them in word and action motivates the child to give extra and to do their best. In a time when we find ourselves running from one ‘activity’ to another, we must remember to take our time to have an interest in the child’s progress and encourage the effort that they are putting into their goal. On the other side, not over emphasizing the belt, trophy or winning will allow the child to have failures and still feel like a success for the effort. As in everything effort will pay off with reaching goals when we persevere and have support from others.
Teaching children about perseverance is more than just telling them they have to do their homework now, or they have to practice the piano or their martial arts or dance. Teaching children perseverance starts first with setting the example and then using the words with them that demonstrate the lessons you are teaching.
Lesson #1 Perseverance requires not becoming overwhelmed, but taking one step at a time. We do not teach our children to walk in one day, it runs it course with a little practice everyday for a few months and then one day – they are walking. The same is true when we set out to reach a goal. Show your children how to make a plan with one small step at a time and progress will be seen before you know it. Keep a record of the starting point and celebrate the small victories. Show them the before and after pictures of where they are today.
Lesson #2 Teach our children not just how to manage their time – but to prioritize. In any time management course they will show you how to list and categorize A,B,C and then 1,2,3 till you can see the most important and urgent items on your list. But prioritizing is also learning about giving up some in the C group, fun to do but not important to reaching your goal, so that your goal can be reached. What are you willing to give up now to reach your goal in the future? Yes it takes self discipline and learning not to giving in to peer pressure. Model this for your child and point out when you are setting this example.
Lesson #3 Just as important as managing time is managing your energy. teaching our children and setting the example of eating in a healthy manner, getting enough sleep, and exercise are the three key ingredients to having the energy to put the time in required to meet your goals. Are you and your family eating enough water based foods? Are you getting the 7-8 hours of sleep you need or if it is a child it may be 10-12 hours of sleep? Does your family have a regular exercise routine, doing some things together too. All of this will be particularly valuable to your children as they grow into the teen years.
Lesson #4 Teaching our children not to let the lack of resources be a discouraging factor in them reaching their goals is important as we teach them about desire, motivation and creativity. So many highly successful individuals in the world started out with very little or nothing, or had physical disabilities or other obstacles, yet were able to reach their goals. Look for examples in all different professions that you can share with your children to encourage them to use their creativity.
Lesson #5 Pursue your interests and what makes you happy. Don’t worry if it is the popular thing to do or if your friends are following this path too. Don’t think about what others think, or do. Find others that can mentor and support you in the areas that you are interested in. Introducing our children to people, young and old, in their fields of interest is a great way of encouraging them to continue to pursue their interest and to understand what they need to be the best they can be.
New Years is a time of the year when many individuals set out on goal setting, yet only 8% of them say that they always keep their resolution, while 75 percent say that they never complete their goal or resolution. So what happens? What is it that stops people from persevering until they reach their goals?
Four major challenges or potential roadblocks are:
New Years is a time of the year when many individuals set out on goal setting, yet only 8% of them say that they always keep their resolution, while 75 percent say that they never complete their goal or resolution. So what happens? What is it that stops people from reaching their goals?
Four major challenges or potential roadblocks are:
Fear of failure
Lack of determination
Peer pressure
Excuses, excuses.
The fear of failure is one of the largest one’s that affect young and older individuals. But here is an idea the next time you start to give up on a goal because you are concerned about what might happen if it does not work out for you. Make a list of what the worst outcome would be if you failed and beside it a list of what the best outcomes would be. Now weigh it out and see if the worst is so bad that you are willing to give up the idea of trying and the possibility of success. Continue reading “Life Skills: Meeting the Challenges of Perseverance, Getting Through the Roadblocks”
When we are trying to reach a goal there can be many things that get in the way of accomplishing our goal. Some of them can be self inflicted while others are obstacles that simply get in the way like a roadblock. Either way if we have perseverance we can find a way to reach our goals if we are willing to put forth the effort.
In the beginning though setting our goals and our frame of mind for reaching them is the first hurdle that can make all the difference in the world. Maybe you have heard of the S.M.A.R.T. way of goal setting but this would be a good time to review this goal setting technique and how to use it with our children of any age. Continue reading “Life Skills: Perseverance Starts With S.M.A.R.T. Goals”
