How is it that other people seem to fit so much into their day, while I struggle with getting the necessary things done? I make a list of all of the things I have to do – but it never seems that I get anything done on it, or not nearly enough! I have too much to do!
We all know the feeling of “having too much to do”. Sometimes it is because we have over-scheduled ourselves or because we have procrastinated on a project and now it is just overwhelming and stressful. Finding the time to do everything is really about sitting down and deciding what needs to be done and what are the most important items on this list.
New Years is a time of the year when many individuals set out on goal setting, yet only 8% of them say that they always keep their resolution, while 75 percent say that they never complete their goal or resolution. So what happens? What is it that stops people from persevering until they reach their goals?
Four major challenges or potential roadblocks are:
Stephen Covey calls it, “Begin With The End In Mind”. We are going to call it, Know and Like Where You Are Headed. One of the largest contributors to confidence and feeling good about yourself, is feeling like you are in control of your destiny. Much of the anger and stress felt by both teens and adults is the lack of direction and commitment to an end result. Unfortunately we get so busy with the day to day that we can forget to take a few moments on a regular basis to think about where we are headed. So we we may be going full steam – but on a path that is not ultimately where we really wanted to be. That results in STRESS!
You will want to ask yourself some questions so you can establish what it is that you truly want to work towards. Take your time with this, and don’t be surprised that when you review your goals as time goes on, that you refine them.
What is it that you really love doing?
What makes you get up in the morning, excited and ready to get the day started?
Who are your heroes in life and what is their influence on you?
If you could do anything in the world, with money not being an object, what would it be?
What steps will I need to take to get there? What can I do right now?
Goal setting and creating a step by step plan to reach your goals is a huge subject that you can investigate and we will write about in the future, but just know that research has shown that those who define their goals are more successful than those who just dream. In fact one study done with Harvard graduates showed that those that wrote their goals down were 3 times better off than those who did not.
This process is not just for the career paths and big decisions. Even the smaller everyday stuff that needs to get done can be set out as short term goals and will help you get the important things done – reducing stress in your life. One more thought on this process, do not forget to be willing to ask for help or to get a coach or mentor to help you sort through your thoughts. We do not have to do this by ourselves. If we need some unbiased help, ask someone who is already doing what you think you would like to be able to do for guidance on how they got there.
When we are trying to reach a goal there can be many things that get in the way of accomplishing our goal. Some of them can be self inflicted while others are obstacles that simply get in the way like a roadblock. Either way if we have perseverance we can find a way to reach our goals if we are willing to put forth the effort.
In the beginning though setting our goals and our frame of mind for reaching them is the first hurdle that can make all the difference in the world. Maybe you have heard of the S.M.A.R.T. way of goal setting but this would be a good time to review this goal setting technique and how to use it with our children of any age. Continue reading “Life Skills: Perseverance Starts With S.M.A.R.T. Goals”
When a martial arts school talks about perseverance you might think that it would be about doing push ups without stopping or some other kind of physical activity. While learning not to quit, even if you get tired, is one way of learning about perseverance and reaching goals, developing perseverance in ourselves and our children is one of the factors that will determine future success.
The ability to stick to our goals until they are reached along with the effort and hard work required, has more to do with accomplishments than does getting into a prestigious university. Children do not learn this all by themselves. As parents we have a great influence on what our children will value, whether it will be effort and hard work or in getting the perfect grade or winning.
Think about what the effects on ourselves or our children if we were not afraid of making a mistake, and saw that if we stuck with something that we could make a success of our efforts and reach our goals. Unfortunately too many parents only ask the questions about ‘what is the grade you got’, ‘did you win’? Imagine if the effort and perseverance a child or ourselves put into a project or goal was just as important to us as the end product of what grade or score we ended up with?
During this month we will discuss what it means to keep going and not quit, when is it reasonable to allow a child to quit an activity, what gets in the way of persevering, what keeps us going and what the benefits are of not giving up. This month is not going to be just about not quitting on our push ups and sit ups, it will be about setting goals for ourselves and finding a way to reach them – even if it takes more effort than we thought.
How is it that other people seem to fit so much into their day, while I struggle with getting the necessary things done? I make a list of all of the things I have to do – but it never seems that I get anything done on it, or not nearly enough! I have too much to do!
