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What is Bully Kindness?

The Buddhist Answer to Bullies

Published in Psychology Today this article list 5 steps in stopping bullying.

  1. See the suffering
  2. Protect yourself
  3. Use Mantra’s
  4. Apply Kindness
  5. Cut-off 

 

If you would like to see the full article here is the link. The Buddhist Answer to Bullies

I found this article interesting, though I must say that we must be careful in all of our suggestions to our children or ourselves about bullying that we do not leave the victim feeling “less than”.  This leads to a life time of issues that will only need to be dealt with later in life. 

I am looking forward to teaching a Verbal Self Defense this fall that has been taught to and used by police officers all over the world.  It is called Verbal Judo.  I recently completed a college course for this and am preparing to bring it to our community this fall.  Verbal Judo is excellent in that it allows all parties to not lose face and stay strong themselves, especially the victim of the attack.

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Sportsmanship: the rules of character

In any sport that we play or compete in there are rules that we follow so that everyone has the same opportunities and winning is based on who does better on the task at hand.  Following those rules is good sportsmanship.  At the same time keeping things safe in a competition is important too.  So some sports have a ‘no pushing’ rule, or they may tell you how many individuals can be on the floor.  This keeps things safe.  Following rules like taking turns keeps things fair. 

There are other kinds of rules though that are not written down but are still important to a game being fun for all the participants.  These are rules of character.  Rules of character are unwritten rules that ask us to be polite, kind and respectful to the coach, the referee, to our teammates, and to the opposing team. 

If we follow the rules of character we are going to cheer others on and say “good game’, at the end of a game with a great attitude and smile.  We will choose not to yell at our teammate or opponent, we are not going to BOO them, we are not going to argue with them.  We may not agree and we may express our disagreement, but those practicing good sportsmanship will do so with respect, kindness and politely.  

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Kindness is self defense

This is a great video for youth or adults.  It will make you stop and think about why you are here on this earth.  I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.  It truly makes me smile.  I must give credit to Tom Callos for sharing it with all of his students too.  That was very kind.  It is important that when we learn something of value, when we are trying to practice something that we share it with each other.  Enjoy!

 

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Manners: saying please & thank you

This month we will be talking about manners.  Now while that seems like a subject that every parent deals with, trying to raise children who are considerate and respectful of others, well even the children understand that we do not see manners being displayed as much as they should be.  Did you notice that I did not say “as they used to be”, though that could be said too, but we are dealing with the NOW, not the THEN.

Fred Astaire is quoted as saying, “The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.”  As leaders, parents, teachers manners are important.  We often show others how we should act toward each other.

The first thing we teach our youngsters in regard to manners universally is, “don’t forget to say please and thank you.”  When we use these words it is just like tacking on the words “with respect” to every sentence.  How much nicer it sounds and more willing we are to comply when we are asked to do something with a “please” attached as opposed to demanding it to be done. 

In fact the way we say something makes a difference in the way it is heard and the response you will get, no matter the age of the receiver.  If we demand – “Give me a piece of candy” –  versus  – “May I please have a piece of candy?” makes the giver feel less respected and valued.  It is in fact a demeaning manner of speaking.  When we use manners though it shows kindness in everything we say and do!

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Manners: Definitions

Each month we define and discuss a word of character development with all of our students.  This month the word is Manners.  It will be defined this way.

Young students:  “Showing kindness in everything I say and do!”

Older students:  Manners means:  Words and behaviors that show respect for other people.

If you would like to see how we will deal with this subject with our students please follow our discussions here during the month of April.