I found this question to be quite interesting. It was an article in the New York Times Magazine and I was reminded that it is what we will be discussing in the month of January. This is a very good time of the year to talk about empathy – thinking of others and not just ourselves. Watch this column for our starting subject What is empathy and how do we read and understand feelings?
Dependability: keeping our word
Our word of the month is dependability. All of us know that if we are dependable then we keep our word, we follow through on our promises. In our day to day life we make promises to others all of the time. In fact many times the promises just slide off our tongue very easily and before we have thought it out completely.
Many times that happens most often with our friends and family. Why is that so? I believe that we take for granted that they, because of our relationship with them, will ‘forgive’ us if we do not keep our promise just the way we said it or at least they will be more understanding.
Is that really fair to them though? What is the long term effect if we make this a practice? I know as a parent that when our children said they were going to do something and they did not follow through it was disappointing. Then when we asked them to give their word again we would ask them again and again. (that can be annoying for both the child and the parent) If it is a really big issue, like what time will you be home or if your home work is complete, it could lead to losing privileges.
We have talked about this many times too that we may also lose the trust of the other person. If you are a child reading this – there is nothing that is worse than losing the trust of your mom and dad. Do everything you can to maintain that trust.
One more part of this puzzle too. When you do not keep a promise there is the feelings that you have about yourself. Do you know that feeling I am talking about? That guilting feeling? The one that everytime you see the person you promised something too you just cringe. That has a long term affect that I will talk about later. But for now we can all work on keeping our word and doing so as quickly as we can after giving it to another person.
A powerful message for parents and teachers
This video was sent to me by a friend. It reminds us of our responsibilities we have to our children while we are here with them. Please enjoy and leave a comment about your feelings as you watched it.
BLS families take part in the suicide prevention walk
Early on Saturday morning we met on Rowe Blvd. Balanced Life Skills had been invited to have a table at the event as it was felt that the type of program that we teach would have a positive impact on the life of those who are a part of our program. What a privilege!
I was personally moved as I met so many who had lost loved ones to this tragedy. So many shared with me their own stories, and as I heard them I am even more convinced that we must take steps to be sure that we learn to recognize the warning signs, what increases the risks, and how we can help.
In addition what can we do to help our children to know how to deal with the stresses that they feel. When they feel the stress what should they do and they need to feel the confidence to be able to speak to others about their feelings.
Our Balanced Life Skills team so far has raised over $800 for the awareness campaign. In addition I personally have made a commitment to create some teaching tools for our young students. I will be enlisting the help of professionals in the community. I am looking for assistance from anyone in our BLS community who would like to help with this project. In the meantime enjoy a couple of pictures of the event and some of those who joined on our walk.
Courage: standing for what it is right
One of the hardest times to demonstrate courage is when we need to stand up for what is right or to do the right things when others are choosing to act in a manner that is not fair or not safe. No matter our age we are all subjected to peer pressure. Both adults and kids get in situations when there are injustices taking place, either by word or action, and we are confronted with the question if we are going to speak up to friends or leaders in our community.
This is very hard. Ralph W. Sockman once said; “The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.” It takes courage to speak up, but that is what leaders do. Leaders lead the way and do what’s right even when it is hard to do. They do what is right because it is the right thing to do, and not based on what others will think or do.
How we develop the ability to do this is by making decisions based on internal values and not external values or influences. It is not that we do not care what others think, we must have empathy for the feelings of others, but we have core values and a conscious that helps direct us into doing the right thing no matter the opinion or influences of others. I have not spent anytime on the subject of teaching our children how to think for themselves, but I will put that on my list of things to write about, but in very simple terms as parents we must first and most importantly demonstrate that for our children. If they see that we are influenced by what our peers have, say and do – they will act and react in the same manner, even in things that we thought that we taught them better in.
How do we know though if an issue is to big for us to handle by ourselves? If we are a child and we see something taking place that we know is not correct, good, safe, and fair to someone else and we do not know what to say or do – it is time to ask for the assistance of an adult. If we are an adult and we do not know how to handle a situation or if it bigger than we are prepared for, it is OK to ask for help and advice. That is what leaders do. Great leaders always know when to ask for help.
Asking for help if we are not able to right a wrong is so much better than seeing an injustice and ignoring it, choosing not to be involved. Being involved is what citizenship in our community is all about.
Citizenship begins with awareness
There are so many ways that we can teach and partake in good citizenship. It is so important for our children to see and know that we believe that it is our responsibility to care for others as well as ourselves. Doing simple things though that do not require money – only our effort and awareness can be some of the strongest lessons.
When we are taking a walk in our neighborhood or at the park, we can be aware of trash that is on the ground and pick it up and throw it away. If we were to see an area at the playground that needed maintenance or a coat of paint, we may be able to find some friends to get together and make the repairs. If we need permission then we get that permission – and this is a good lesson to our kids in being leaders.
Awareness of our surrounding and of the feelings of others is the first step in being a good citizen and sharing with our children what citizenship is all about.