Fairness is something that we talk about throughout our lives. When we are young it is about someone taking a toy or doesn’t let us play or not getting the same size piece of cake. When we get older it may be about tests, sports, chores and privileges at home. With us adults we talk about fairness too. Unfortunately many times when it does not seem ‘fair’ it ends up in court.
What does fairness mean to you? When is it fair for everyone to get the do the same amount?
Is there ever a time when individuals get a different amount?
What would happen if we treated everyone the same no matter what? What would that look like and is it fair?
I will discuss what it means to be fair and unfair later this week here, as we discuss it with all of our students in their classes.
Fairness
Young students
Fairness means: “We play by the rules, show we care, do our part and get our share.
Older students, teens, adults:
Fairness means: Treating others according to what’s deserved, appropriate, and needed.
Our responsibility
From the time I first started training in the martial arts and could see the impact it could have on a persons life, I realized that I had a responsibility to be my best and then to share this ‘art’ with others. The responsibility was not just to teach the physical side of the martial arts, but really to show the benefits of practicing everything you need on the floor training, everywhere else you go in the world.
What is that responsibility? The responsibility is to be a role model to both parents and children. One teacher recently called me a life coach for the kids. That is a lot of responsibility. But really is that not what all adults are or can be? Are we not life coaches to our own kids first and then do we not have a responsibility to the next generation as a whole?
I believe that we should inspire them to do their best, to cheer them on, to find the good in them, to do what is best for them – even if it is not popular with them at first. Oh the first and best way to do that is to practice it ourselves. Give our best, Cheer ourselves on and find the good in ourselves and celebrate it, Correct what we need to correct in ourselves and do what is the right and best thing for ourselves even if it is not convenient or popular with ourselves. Our kids will learn from us by the example better than what we say with our words.
Responsibility
Young students
Responsibility means “I’m the one who gets things done!”
Older students, teens, adults:
Responsibility means doing what is required of us and what we committed to do
Preserving the ‘rules of respect’
This month as we have looked at the character of respect with our students, we must examine ourselves as adults and ask how we can encourage respect, even when disrespect an rudeness is found everyday. Of course we have to be sure that we do not begin to believe that it is acceptable to act in that manner. In fact we may ask ourselves, how individuals we spend the most time with during the week speak to one another. Do they show respect in their communication and how does it affect us? How do we do as individuals on a scale of 1-10 of showing respect for others? Do we create drama in our relationships and show disrespect for others? As we think about this we have to wonder about the affect it has on us and the way we speak to others and how they speak to us. Do adjustments need to be made?
Robert Ingersoll said, “Give to every human every right that you claim for yourself.” I would add our children are watching and our neighbors children. They are learning how they will act toward others. It is our responsibility to set the best example we can to ensure that the ‘rules of respect’ are preserved with our children.
Influences on Respect
The development of respect in our children is affected by a number of different factors. As usual there is never just one thing that is going to be the difference maker. Generally there will be a number of influences that affect this part of character development in our students.
- Seeing respectful behavior modeled.
- The trust factor (kids trust of adults)
- Role models our children have
- Language that our kids are exposed to
- Effect of the media and what is accepted as ‘normal’
- How are children are treated
If you would like to read some thoughts about influences on respect, Click here.
The good news is respect can be taught to our children. Respect is really based on that golden rule of treating others the way we want to be treated. When they learn that everyone has the right to be treated in a positive and caring way, they are also learning that they can and should respect themselves too.
How can we help our children understand the meaning, value and behaviors of respect? Their success in every arena of their life is dependent on making respect a part of their lives without our prompting and reinforcement. During the rest of this month I will post some ways that we can teach respect to our children and students.