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Life Skills: Teaching Our Children Self Reliance Is Key to Building Confidence and Responsibility

Teaching character and life skills to students

During the month of September we are going to discuss the concept of self reliance in regard to our children.  As parents we know that we want our children to grow up and be able to think for themselves, not be afraid to try new things, to practice new things with diligence and not give up when it does not come quickly to us.  Yet learning to balance that with not expecting too much for the age of the child can sometimes be challenging.

One additional challenge that comes for parents is allowing their child to try and fail more than one time, while we encourage increased effort and not just step in and do the project or task for them.  Yes we may be able to do the task better and faster, but for our children to learn self reliance they must be allowed to try and try – fail and fail, and with patience and practice to succeed.  

In a study done recently out of Harvard a comparison was done between what was emphasized in parenting from two different cultures.  One culture was Americans and the other was from the Asian country’s of Taiwan, S. Korea and Japan.  It was found that the Asian culture emphasized effort and self reliance in reaching goals, whereas the American culture emphasized “the goal”.  Self reliance is better learned by all of us by putting forth the effort, persevering, allowing for failures and triumphing as we develop our skills.

Is that hard to do?  Yes.  Is it hard to watch our children struggle with it? Yes.  Is it worth the end results? Yes.  That is if we want our children to grow up not feeling entitled to someone else coming in and ‘fixing’ everything for them instead of them learning and earning it.  This month we will be focused on helping both children and parents work on self reliance, gaining trust, responsibility and confidence in ourselves.

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Life Skills: Self Reliance – Definitions

Teaching character and life skills to students

 

Each month we define and discuss a word of character development and life skill with all of our students.

This month the word is Self-Reliance and will be defined this way.

Young students: Self Reliance means: “I can do it by myself!”

Older students: Teamwork means: Self trust; relying on your own judgements, powers or abilities

Here are the worksheets for our students:

Self Reliance Project Tiger Tots

Self Reliance Project 5-6

Self Reliance Project 7-12

Self Reliance Project Teens & Adults

If you would like to see how we will deal with this subject with our students please follow our discussions here during the month of September or come in and TRY A CLASS.

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Life Skills: Teamwork – The Value of Contributing to “The Team”

Teaching character and life skills to students

Each one of us bring something special to the team that we are on.  Even on our most important team, the family, not all of us are going to be good at all things.  On every team there will those who play the role of encourager, compromiser, leader, clarifier, idea person, evaluator and recorder.

On small teams like your family, some may take on several roles as the team works towards a goal.  But the point is that one person should not need to take on all of the roles, because everyone can contribute something.  As a brief review let’s look at the different roles that can be played out on a team.

Encourager is the person who cheers the group on and finds ways to energize the group when motivation gets low.
Compromiser works on keeping the group harmonized.  They make sure that many in the group are heard and understood.
Leaders who must be careful not to dominate the group, while at the same time keeping them focused and on track to reach the goals of the group.
Clarifier is the person who can summarize where the group is at this time and looks to make sure the group reaches a consensus.
Idea person sees the big picture and is full of creative ways of getting there, while they may not be too good on the details.
Evaluator is the person who likes to think things over and does not reach a quick decision.  They will suggest and encourage looking at goals and solutions from different viewpoints.
Recorder is the person who loves to take the notes at a meeting and helps keep things moving, on time and schedule.

How can you contribute with your best?  Can you take on greater responsibility on a team?  In the family we can train our children to take on different roles as they work on seeing what they are the best at and how to use all of these skills.  It may start with simple day to day plans and later as they get older, having them help with vacation plans and other family goals.

Being on a team is important to our children feeling like they belong.  Belonging to a group is key to building their confidence which in turn will affect their ability to lead.  They will be less likely to succumb to bullying behavior and to stand up for others who are being picked on.  Teaching teamwork at home builds happy family units, stronger students and future adults.

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Life Skills: Teamwork Spells Success for Families

Teaching character and life skills to students

“A group becomes a team when each member is sure enough of himself and his contribution to praise the skills of the others.” –Norman Shidle

I thought this was an interesting quote, especially when dealing with the family unit.  If we want our family to work as a team, there are steps to take first to ensure that everyone can be sure of themselves and the role that they play in the task at hand.

First, all members of the family need to have a clear vision of the end result and to see how it will benefit them and the rest of the ‘team’.  Then they must realize that the part they have been asked to perform or they have accepted to do is an integral part of the whole picture.  Helping them to believe that they are important and responsible for a key part of the big picture.

Being sure that each team member is capable of or been trained for their task will help to keep them focused and not get discouraged prior to the completion of the task.  Especially with children, we may believe that they know something that they have not mastered yet, and they may get discouraged.

Make sure the whole team knows what the end results will look like and keep them on track by developing a spirit of cooperation.  It may be that you will work together on a portion of the project – and be willing to praise the younger member for the contribution they are making.  If there are any complaints, be sure to address them quickly and work to keep the mood light and encouraging the entire time.  In the end reward your ‘team’ with praise for a job well done and with a special treat of something that they consider ‘great’.

These steps will help us for work that needs to be done in the garden or in the house.  They will help the entire family focus on what is important to your family in education, spirituality, vacations or work in the community.

Henry Ford said, “If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself.”

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Life Skills: Teamwork In Sports or Family Results in Success

Teaching character and life skills to students

Have you ever seen or been on a team that just clicked, everything went well, even when there were obstacles? It is fun to be on a team like that. Have you ever been on a team that no matter how hard you worked the team never quite gelled and what you hoped to accomplish never quite happened. That can be very discouraging. So what is it that makes the difference in a great team and one that does not reach its potential? How does what we learn help us in our families, our most important team.

Great teams and teams that are fun to be on may not always win. But on great teams, that never seems to persuade them from having a positive attitude. Even when things do not go as planned or hoped for, the members of the team always look on the bright side and are willing to give credit to each other and appreciate the effort that they put into the task at hand.

Great teams display great sportsmanship. No matter if they win or lose, they are fair and kind both to each other and those that they played against. They put forth their best effort and play by the rules, never cheating or lying. Teams that display sportsmanship are willing to compliment others for a job well done instead of bragging, criticizing or making fun of others on or off of their team.

Great teams and teammates will still make mistakes and not do the job they were assigned as well as they wished they had. But instead of trying to find someone else to blame, they quickly acknowledge their mistakes, learn from them and then work on doing better the next time. All of these things are true of teams that we play and work on, but they are also true of our most important team – our family.

In our family we want to display a positive attitude, even when things do not go the way we would have liked or planned. If there is an obstacle, we talk to others in the family, prioritize what our values are, make choices that are best for the team – not just one individual. Great families create a culture of being fair to all and understanding that fairness does not mean you will get your way all of the time. Great families work hard together on projects that meet the values and mission of their family, with everyone contributing what they are able to their projects. They are willing to listen to each other and set their own ego’s to the side for the good of the team.

Developing our values and mission as a family and then working together to meet our goals as a team, teaches our children about teamwork and creates a very close and strong family. If someone were to ask you what is your mission / goals as a family, you want to be able to state it simply and clearly. Having the values spelled out and a mission understood is the first step in creating a great team.