Category: Gifts of Character

Today we asked in regard to loyalty – What if some one was being mean to another student?  What would you do?  Virtually all students said they would ask them to stop, take the target away from the mean person or tell a teacher.  Unfortunately research shows that not to be true.  Most children will internalize the event and be very concerned about being the next target.
Loyalty to your friend is difficult during a time like this.  If we talk to our children about loyalty, and role play with them what they could do, or be comfortable doing they will be more likely to be able to muster the courage to stand up for their friend.
The most important thing they can do though is to stand with or stick with their friend – not abandoning them when others are being mean.  Just saying to their friend, I am still your friend, I believe in you, lets go sit over here and eat with these friends will help the target not feel so ostracized.

Today we asked an interesting question to our students about loyalty in the classroom and their schools.  What if you saw someone writing in a library book or on the walls in your school?  What would you do?  The comments went from telling them to stop it, asking them to stop and then be more firm about it, to telling the teacher.  The courage it takes to speak up for what is the right thing to do can only be taught from their own personal sense of right and wrong.  How and why they stand up is just as important.  So we discussed the difference of tattling and reporting to the teacher.  One student stated that tattling is with the hope to get the other student in trouble, while reporting is doing what is right.

Loyalty to our school and community would encourage us to keep the library books clean and available to everyone else.   Showing respect for our environment, both the green one and our surroundings, encourages us to be loyal to the value of keeping things neat and clean for everyone.   So we would tell an authority if we need to about any crossing of that line.

What communities do each of us belong to that we can show loyalty and how do we show loyalty?  Discussing this with our children will give them the courage to stand up for and be loyal to all of their communities that support them.  I believe it is our communities that help to strengthen us and our children into being better citizens.

We first learn about loyalty from our family.  Our family is the closest relationships we will ever have, and so we can understand that if there is a breakdown in the relationships, a break of loyalty, that we can be affected for a very long time – not knowing who we can trust.  Our children will learn in the family what it means to always be there for someone and how to stick up for someone who needs a friend by the way they are treated in the family.

Each member of the family, by keeping their promises, by not sharing others secrets or personal thoughts is both teaching and learning about loyalty.  But loyalty needs to go both ways though.  While it is the responsibility of parents to be loyal to their children, children must also demonstrate loyalty to the family and each member of the family.

They learn this by making and keeping promises and tying those promises back into the idea of loyalty.  If a child promises to help their family out by keeping their room clean or picking up their toys in the family room – they need to keep those promises as an act of loyalty.  When promises are kept we have the opportunity to praise our children for showing loyalty.  As they understand this better they will also learn to stand up for their brothers and sisters if they are the target of mean words or worse.

 

Loyalty is another one of those qualities that we hope that we see in our children, loyal to their family, friends, and teammates – but at the same time loyal to morals, values and ethics that they have been taught by us as parents and teachers.  This can be tough for adults and children though.   What if our friend is making what we believe are bad choices, is it OK to speak up or is that tattling?  What if the culture in our school seems to be allowing bullying?  How can we speak up to our teachers and classmates and still be loyal to them?

Loyalty infers that we will be responsible and dependable.  Loyalty asks us to be trustworthy and faithful.  If there is a situation where bullying is overlooked we would be showing responsibility if we spoke up and said, “In our school we should treat each other with respect!”   We would not do this in a complaining manner.  If we see a problem we can acknowledge the issue, but in being true to our values we will also want to offer ideas for a solution.  It may not be the final answer, but we could start a conversation with all parties involved – students, teachers and parents – to improve the culture of the school.  Now we are being loyal to our friends and our school while standing up for the values that we believe in.

This month the word is Loyalty and will be defined this way.

Young students: Loyalty means: “I am true to my friends, family and school”

Older students: Loyalty means: Faithful and committed to a person, place, group or cause.

Here are the worksheets for our students:

Loyalty Worksheet Tiger Tots

Loyalty Worksheet 5 /6

Loyalty Worksheet 7-12

Loyalty Worksheet Teens / Adults

If you would like to see how we will talk about this subject with our students please follow our discussions here during the month of February or come in and TRY A CLASS.