Category: Gifts of Character

In our discussions about living our life with a positive attitude, we have looked at ways to increase our positivity.  Of course we know that the thoughts and feelings we have and the way that we speak to ourselves affects how we feel during the day and our behaviors.  Just as important though is our willingness to be a good finder and look for people, events and things that we have been provided to be thankful for.

Do we have an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE?

In a study in 2003 by Emmons, R. A. & McCullough, M. E. (2003) Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well being in daily life, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 84: 377-89.  they showed that those that wrote down 5 things every night that they were grateful for had the following results:

• getting more hours of sleep
• less time spent falling asleep
• waking feeling more refreshed
• fewer symptoms of physical illness

Other studies have shown a 23% decrease in cortisol – often referred to as the stress hormone – and we all understand the havoc stress plays on our body and attitude.  Making it a practice to recognize, journal and express our gratitude will be beneficial to our health and our day.

I am writing this post from the point of view of a young person.  Lets say as a young person I have an argument with my brother or sister.  It may go on for a while, especially if my thoughts about the incident are negative.  If I think to myself, I don’t like them, They never listen to me, I never get to do anything, then our attitude is going to be maintained in a negative state.

If however I create a positive attitude by thinking along the lines of knowing that things will get better,  or I can apologize or this argument is not going to last forever – then we can start the process of creating a positive attitude.  I may have to force myself to think that way, it may not come natural.  But this is a part of us ‘making the choice’ of the attitude we are going to have.

What if we cannot get ourselves to a point of a positive attitude no matter what we try.  We are still angry, sad, lonely.  Sometimes we feel what we are feeling and it is difficult.  That is when we can use some of our other skills like deep breathing, counting to 10, or the most important one – talk to a trusted advisor – especially if we are young this should be our parents.  They very much want you to be happy.

PS. Note for parents.  When your child comes to talk to you, give them your full attention and be willing to listen even if it takes them a long time for them to tell you what is going on in their mind.  Those long periods of silence are being used to gather their thoughts and figure out what and how they want to tell you.  It is not easy you know.

 

How is it that in a classroom or an office there is always one person that can find the negative things that could happen that day or on this project or if we go in that direction? How often does that attitude of negativity dampen the spirits of others around them? Is it not refreshing when one or more others step up and insist on looking at our work or our lives in a more positive manner?

The quality of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. Where do those negative thoughts come from then that control our emotions and feelings? From the same place that the positive ones come from – the questions we ask ourselves.

Our brain is just like Google – the information we get out is only as good as the search term we put in. So if we ask Google for information on “tae kwon do” we will get information on tae kwon do. It may also give us on other forms of martial arts too – but we will not get information on knitting!

Our brain works in the same manner. It will look for the answers to the questions we ask it. If we tell ourselves, “We are going to have a terrible day!”, our brain looks for all the reasons we will have a terrible day and will give us a long list that we are there to approve. However if we ask, “What is great about today?”, our brain will search for answers to that question. Those answers will become your reality. Your focus on positive thoughts become your feelings and emotions, which in turn become your reality.

Give it a try!

Each month we will discuss a life skill with all of our students.  This month the word is Positive Attitude.  This word will be defined in the following ways for our students.

 

Young students:  Positive Attitude means I’m a good finder!

Older students:  Positive Attitude means: An optimistic way of feeling, thinking & acting in the face of everyday events and obstacles.

Each age group has a worksheet that parents can use to continue the discussion at home with their children, and one for adults to allow them to think more deeply about the skill and how it applies to them.  Would you like to receive the worksheet?  Stop by our studio at 133 Gibralter Avenue in Annapolis, MD and tell us the age of your child.  We will give you a worksheet and invite you to watch Mr. Joe discuss the word with the students in class.  You can also follow our discussions here on this website.

If you would like to become a member of Balanced Life Skills, come TRY CLASSES FOR FREE.   We are not your typical martial arts school, in fact we are an education center, working with our students on physical skills along with character.  We are building confidence in each child.  Balanced Life Skills takes part in community service and encourages each student to do the same.  You are welcomed to come in and talk to the parents that are here and watch the class for the age group you are interested in.