I am writing this post from the point of view of a young person. Lets say as a young person I have an argument with my brother or sister. It may go on for a while, especially if my thoughts about the incident are negative. If I think to myself, I don’t like them, They never listen to me, I never get to do anything, then our attitude is going to be maintained in a negative state.
If however I create a positive attitude by thinking along the lines of knowing that things will get better, or I can apologize or this argument is not going to last forever – then we can start the process of creating a positive attitude. I may have to force myself to think that way, it may not come natural. But this is a part of us ‘making the choice’ of the attitude we are going to have.
What if we cannot get ourselves to a point of a positive attitude no matter what we try. We are still angry, sad, lonely. Sometimes we feel what we are feeling and it is difficult. That is when we can use some of our other skills like deep breathing, counting to 10, or the most important one – talk to a trusted advisor – especially if we are young this should be our parents. They very much want you to be happy.
PS. Note for parents. When your child comes to talk to you, give them your full attention and be willing to listen even if it takes them a long time for them to tell you what is going on in their mind. Those long periods of silence are being used to gather their thoughts and figure out what and how they want to tell you. It is not easy you know.