Category: Gifts of Character

In the words of Bruce Lee: “Remember, success is a journey, not a destination. Have faith in your ability. You will do just fine.”

Having faith in your ability is the same as self esteem. Having faith in your ability will also allow you to have patience with yourself, as you know you will reach your goal, even if it is not at the time that you wished for. When the destination becomes more important than the journey,  stress levels increase and our happiness decreases. In fact even when we meet our destination our happiness for reaching the goal is very short lived.

This awareness helps us to define success in another way – other than reaching a destination. Success is knowing that we have done our best. Success is know that we have put forth the effort required to be all we are capable of becoming. There is no time limit on giving our best effort.

Success is a journey into our own peace of mind; a faith in our own abilities – not compared to others, but rather to our own efforts. Having this frame of mind will bring us happiness with ourselves and our relationships.

We will do just fine.

The discussion of patience this month cannot ignore working on our ability to be patient with ourselves. In a world that we have so many things available to us instantly, that waiting for our computer to load a page is intolerable if it takes more than a second or two, we have come to believe that our goals and relationships must be reached now without waiting. Even with ourselves we can become impatient if we do not get what we want right away.

The practice of being patient with ourselves allows us to “not be perfect”, to accept our mistakes without beating ourselves up. It helps us to set goals for our life and then work at achieving them, while recognizing that most goals will not be reached without perseverance. When we are not patient with ourselves it becomes very stressful and this stress leads us to internalizing the bad feelings, lowering our self-esteem, and many times we may begin to start playing the ‘blame game’. All of this impatience, stress, and lowered self esteem can lead to either internal or external expression of anger, resulting in harming our relationships.

Teaching our children the value of not beating ourselves up when we “fail” and not over celebrating ourselves with we “succeed” – will allow us and them to grow, reach set goals and like ourselves for who we are, which will build self esteem. Are you impatient with yourself at times? How does impatience happen? How does it feel when we are stressed out by our impatience?

We have all seen the acronym HALT. It stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Those four feelings can have a real effect on our actions and responses to other stimuli. Originally this was used by those who were dependent on alcohol or other drugs. If one found themselves with one of these feelings they were far more likely to revert to the use of a chemical. So they learn to ask themselves, “Am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired?”.

The same feelings of hunger, anger, loneliness or being tired can also be the trigger for impatience, explosive anger, or depression. Being aware of one of those feelings as a trigger to anger or impatience is the first step to making better choices.

Personally when I am beginning to get hungry, I have less patience am quicker to be short with my comments and answers to questions. Fortunately, my wife knows that and is able to ask the question – “are you getting hungry?”. As soon as it is pointed out to me – I can think better and make better choices about how I respond. Being aware is key to increasing your patience, controlling your expression of anger, taking steps to take care of your needs.

Each month we will discuss a life skill with all of our students. This month the word is Patience.  This word will be defined in the following ways for our students.

Young students: Patience means: “Waiting without complaining.”

Older students: Patience means:   Waiting without complaining for something you want or need.

Each age group has a worksheet that parents can use to continue the discussion at home with their children, and one for adults to allow them to think more deeply about the skill and how it applies to them. Would you like to receive the worksheet? Stop by our studio at 133 Gibralter Avenue in Annapolis, MD and tell us the age of your child. We will give you a worksheet and invite you to watch Mr. Joe discuss the word with the students in class.  You can also follow our discussions here on this website.

If you would like to become a member of Balanced Life Skills, come TRY CLASSES FOR FREE.   We are not your typical martial arts school, in fact we are an education center, working with our students on physical skills along with empowering families with compassion, awareness and respect. We believe in every child and build their self – confidence.  Balanced Life Skills takes part in community service and encourages each student to do the same.

Come in and talk to the parents that are here and watch the class for the age group you are interested in.  Learn about the Balanced Life Skills Way.