Category: Gifts of Character

What steps have you taken to show respect for your community and even the environment?  Each of us after many years have learned that showing respect for the environment begins with the 3 R’s Re-use, Reduce waste and Recycle.  Our environment is just that – our environment.  It is not just the responsibility of others to care for the health of the earth.  It is our responsibility to do our small part to contribute to the bigger picture.  This is not just a one time on Earth Day project that we take on.  It is an everyday responsibility.  

Simple things like not throwing trash on the ground to staying on walkway paths all show respect for the efforts of others and ourselves.  Are we wasteful with our food or belongings or do we show respect for the earth by finding ways to reuse items or at best to reduce our consumption.  For most of us living in the American society, our consumption outweighs most of the world many times over.  Could we reduce?

Showing respect for our community also is shown by being a part of the community, helping to resolve problems and make our community a better place.  One way would be by taking part in the conversation – not just sitting back seeing what happens and complaining about how bad things are.  Speaking up, taking part in the election process and doing so in a respectful manner – listening to others, understanding where they are coming from and finding ways to compromise and work together to make our world a better place.  There may be times that we have to make changes in our self, recognize where we are mistaken and acknowledge our mistakes.  Taking these steps make us a valuable part of our community and when we are valued by others – respectful behavior is soon to follow.  Showing respect to each other is a great beginning step in creating a culture of peace in our family, schools, community and the world. 

The expectation we have for others to show respect for items that matter to us is the same that others have for us.  When we are invited to another persons home how do you show respect for the things that matter to them?

It may begin with our entry into the home.  Does the family take their shoes off at the door, then we should follow suit.  We may even ask if this is the custom.  Once we are inside do we wait to be invited into various parts of the house.  If the children are asked to go upstairs into the bedrooms – do you make sure that permission is asked of the parents of the house.

When visiting others in their home, being careful with their belongings – furniture, dishes, toys, all show that the things that matter to others also matters to us.  That is respect – the behavior of valuing others and their property.

Respect can be shown to others with our manners too.  We will want to show appreciation with our words and actions for the hospitality shown to us.  Saying thank you for food and other provisions along with appreciation for the invitation to spend the time with them.  Yes, even their time is a valuable commodity that we show respect for.  When the agreed time limit for the visit is met – then without complaining we will make our way back to our own home – without complaining or begging for more time to be spent.

As I prepared this post I was thinking how well this tied into the practice of empathy.  Asking ourselves how the other person feels and even then taking our level of respect up a notch or two.  Remember empathy is not just treating others the way we would want to be treated.  It really is treating others the way they would like to be treated and that includes their personal property.

Respect for ourselves, respect for others, and now showing respect for property – both our own and that of others.  Lets start with items that might belong to us, a book, bike, a drawing or toy.  Remember we talked about how “respect is the behavior shown something or someone that we value”.  All of us can understand the value we place on items that we own.  We may have a special book that we love – we value – it was given to us by a special person in our life or we love the story.  We personally want to take care of it, being sure to put it away in a special place.  We are careful not to tear the pages or break the binding.  When we share it with others, we tell them how special it is to us and give them the rules we have for sharing it with them.  We treat this book “like it matters’.  We value it and expect others to do the same.

Lets imagine that we own a bike – a very special bike exactly what we always wanted.  How would we show respect for this gift from our parents or grandparents?  Would we leave it out in the driveway, laying on the ground overnight, or out in the rain?  Of course not.  We would want to be sure that we cared for it as if it really mattered to us.  If someone wanted to borrow it we may choose to say, “I do not lend my bike out.”  or we may lend it with the request that they treat it with ‘respect’.

We can think of items that are important to our friends and family too.   Sometimes they are items that came from their parents or have special significance due to who or where they came from.  With these items, we would be sure to ask for permission to touch, hold or borrow them.  I remember a special necklace that my wife wore that her grandmother had given her.  There was no great monetary value to the necklace, it was valued because of who had gifted the item.  That sort of special meaning and comfort from that item – made it irreplaceable.

Respect for property, whether it is ours or others is all based on understanding the value of the item, monetary, sentimental or because it was gifted to us.

Showing respect for ourselves goes beyond the four ways we discussed in class this week:

1. Healthy eating
2. exercise
3. proper amount of sleep
4. personal hygiene

To have a real self respect it is also important not to be talked into risking our physical or mental health with bad habits such as smoking or drugs.  In fact many young people are drawn into that with a dare from others – a dare to do unhealthy or even dangerous acts.  But a person who has respect for themselves will not succumb to the ‘peer’ pressure.  We know that ‘we matter’.  We value our health and our bodies.

Beyond those things that seem so obvious, it is shows respect for our life when we have a goal or a mission.  Even young people can have a mission or a purpose.  Having this spelled out, understood that this is why I am doing what I am doing will help us keep everything in perspective.  Having and reaching a goal also acts as a building block to the next and possibly larger goal.  As we reach them, our self respect goes up, resulting in greater confidence and self esteem.

I was so happy to hear our students when talking about self respect say very early in the conversation that we should speak to ourselves in a positive manner and not put ourselves down if we make a mistake or fail to get something that we were hoping for.  They really got the message we talked about when discussing confidence.