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Teaching children helpfulness is a boost to their self-esteem

During the month of August, we have talked to our students about the idea of charity, giving to those in need.  Already we have discussed giving others our treasures including clothes, toys, or other things that have been valuable to us and we now can pass on to others for their use. We also discussed giving of our talent to organizations that have specific needs. If I had knowledge and skills in a specialty area or an interest in a particular cause that I can find a way to help out.

Kids want to be helpful, and they are self-centered at the same time. Which one will you encourage?

However, for young people with limited treasures and talent, it is important for them to learn the joy of helping others and they can do that with their time. A child need only be themselves to bring joy to a senior who does not get out very often. They might just sit with them and talk, play games or read to them.  They may be able to offer help to organizations to cheer on or run with other children who have disabilities. Sharing themselves and their time by volunteering helps them to awaken the virtue of empathy and compassion.

The benefits of helping children learn about charity are many. There is an amazing thing about kids. They want to be helpful, and they are self-centered at the same time. Which one will you encourage as the parent or teacher? By setting the example and including them on our giving of time will feed the “I want to help” side. By giving them the opportunity to choose how they would like to help others we are slowing down the self-centered attitude that comes naturally and is encouraged by so much of the media today.

Giving our time, leading our children to do the same gives kids a powerful boost in self-esteem. They learn that it is not just about writing a check, but giving of themselves that can help make a difference in the community and world today.

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Share our treasures to serve others

While many virtues relate to the idea of charity, the one that stands out the most to me is service. Mahatma Gandhi quoted as saying, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” When we think about serving others, we are considering giving to those in need. This month we will examine how we can share with others our Treasures, Talents & Time.

To begin with treasures, though we may not see what we have as particularly valuable. However, so many humans around the globe do not have the fortune we have of a place to sleep, food to eat, or comfortable clothes to wear. So the treasure we have may be clothes that we are no longer wearing or have grown too big to wear. Our treasure may be toys that no longer are for our age group. There may be household wares or bedding that could be shared with others.

Our treasure may be actual money that supports an emergency situation like a flood, fire or weather-related disaster. Whatever our means and ability the service we give to others is about making our community and the world a better place. We provide service to others without a thought of what we are going to get out of doing good. However, we do feel happy when we can help others.

If we want our children to grow up and be happy – teach them the gift of service to others. Teach them is about charity, volunteering to give treasure, talent, or time to those in need.

This month let’s think about the needs of those in Ellicott City, MD who lost businesses, homes, cars and two families that lost loved ones. I will be attending a meeting in Ellicott City this week to learn what the needs are for that community and see how we may be able to help.

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Gifts of Character: Charity – The Definition

Each month we will discuss one gift of character with all of our students. This month the word is Charity. This life skill will be defined in the following ways for our students.

Young students: Charity  means: I give to those in need!

Older students: Charity means: Volunteering to give treasures, talents,or time to those in need.

We are not your typical after school activity, in fact, we are an education center, working with students on physical self-defense skills while empowering families to bring out the best in our children and ourselves – through the martial arts. We believe every child has 52 gifts in them already. They only need to be taught how to grow and use them in their life. Balanced Life Skills serves parents, teachers and students to reach that goal.

If you would like to see Joe Van Deuren and Balanced Life Skills at work, TRY CLASSES FOR FREE for 2 weeks.

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Determination is time and effort resulting in success

Reaching our goals comes from putting forth the effort and time on a task. If we want to learn to swim, we do so with effort and time. Soon we can “swim in the deep end”. If we want to expand our knowledge, we spend more time and put in more effort, and we learn new strokes. Then if we use our determination, we get faster and stronger and can swim longer amounts of time.

If we want to master swimming even greater success can come with more time and effort. If our goal is to be one of the best in the world we put in the effort. The consequence of hard work is a success. Those who stay determined don’t quit and are rewarded. Muhammad Ali said, “I hated every minute of training, but I said, “Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”  We may not have that as our goal in swimming, but what is so important to us that we will put in the time and effort to be a champion?

If you are a parent, how do you show that you want to be the best parent you can be?  If you are a student how do you demonstrate that you are determined to learn and apply what you are learning? No matter what we set our sights on accomplishing, being the best we can be is accomplished when we practice determination by:

  • Focusing our energy on a purpose
  • Don’t give up easily, even when difficulties arise.
  • If one path does not work, we try another
  • We stay undistracted
  • We complete each task step by step.

Be thankful for determination. Determination is the wind in your sails.

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Determination begins with the growth mindset

What achievements have meant the most to you? The achievements that mean the most to us many times come after we have worked hard, overcome challenges, even failures to reach our goal. To have that kind of determination requires that we have a “growth mindset” as researched and written about by Carol Dweck of Stanford University.

With a growth mindset we believe that even if I am not able to do something at this time, I can develop the intelligence or skill to do so at a later date. The words we use are, “ I don’t know that YET”.  The belief that we can develop the skills or intelligence leads to the desire to improve and learn.

Self-image is not tied to our success or how you look to others. A failure is an opportunity to learn. So no matter the outcome of our efforts we are on our way to mastering the skill or knowledge we desire. We are on our way to succeeding.

Would it not be great if our children developed that mindset?  They can, and the language we use in praise of them or in correcting them have an impact from a very early age that determines if they will develop a growth mindset or if they believe that what they have is all they will ever have, and there is no growth possible.

Speaking the language of the virtues is a positive way of developing the character in our children that allows them to see their strengths and areas of growth. Would you like to learn more about The Virtues Project? Contact me for an Introduction to Speaking the Language of the Virtues.  Please share with parents and teachers.

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Goal setting and determination for children

Determination begins with having a purpose or a goal in mind that we feel connected to make sure it gets accomplished. Teaching our children to set specific goals and to work towards achieving them is a first step in helping them to get to know themselves.  What is it they want to achieve?

With young children, we will need to educate them about the necessity of reaching individual goals. We will need to help them to see the benefits of education and help them to develop a growth mindset, so they have the joy of learning. Later they will be able to establish goals for themselves that will reflect their interests and what they want to accomplish. When they do set a goal, we want to encourage them to use their determination to achieve their goal.

Teaching our children how to set goals and learning to see themselves succeed and believe that they can reach it by staying determined is one of the most important skills we can give our children. We can Speak the Language of the Virtues to keep them on track and help them see that they already have Determination inside themselves to achieve anything they are willing to put the effort and work to accomplish.