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Attitude: Your most important asset in relationships

In the course that some of our students are taking this fall, Excellence in Leadership, one of the drills that we do is list all the qualities that a leader should have.  In fact we explore what we would like to see in a number of different relationships.  All of them are marked as either being a Skill or an Attitude.

Consistently when I do this drill the Attitudes dominate the list, no matter if the relationship is with your parents, teacher, sibling, friend, workmate… it just doesn’t matter, Attitude dominates.  In a poll done of the 100 largest businesses in America of the single biggest reason individuals are fired, reasons that would be noted as attitude again dominate the list.

While 30 percent are fired due to incompetence (skill)  all of the rest of the highest rated reasons were attitude related including lack of motivation, negative attitude, dishonesty, inability to get along, failure to follow instructions. Our attitude determines what we see and how we handle our actions and feelings.   Our attitude is something that we can change at the snap of our fingers if we chose to do so, while a skill is something that we need to be trained in or study to learn how to do.

This asset of Attitude is responsible for our success in every relationship that we have 85% of the time, while actual skills training is responsible only 15% of the time according to The Carnegie Institute.   When things are not going the way that we would like to see them go, we may want to stop and think about our attitude and how that may help the situation or relationship.

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Give first, no matter what

Today and this season is a time that more than ever people give to family, friends and to charity. Everyone is moved by the generosity not only to themselves but the stories we hear about caring for others.

There is a mentality though that leads people to that happiness throughout the year. It is a mentality of abundance. This attitude that there is more than enough for us to share with others, that the more we share the more we will have, that whatever it is that we give we receive in return in abundance. When we give with generosity with this abundance mentality, what we give away will multiply.

What we give may be in physical gifts, especially for those in need of the basics, but they may also be in an attitude of gratitude. The simple smile, verbal or written thank you note, an act of kindness are all gifts that we can make and teach our children about.

There is more than enough for all of us. Stephen Covey wrote about recognizing that we should think about making the pie bigger by giving more, rather than being worried about us getting a bigger piece of the pie.

Do you believe like I do that if we are generous with our resources, that we will not run out of resources? Practice giving – no matter what your circumstances may be.

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Do Not Neglect Your Family in the Name of Success

Developing our personal meaning of success and then planning and acting on those plans is something that happens for individuals at different times in their lives.  For me I knew what success would mean, helping others and especially young people.  In so doing, as I got older I realized that it meant helping young parents too.

One thing I have learned on this journey though is that most important while on our path is our family.   I have seen some who have sacrificed their own family for reaching personal goals, and quite frankly it is never for the best.  There have been very few people in the world who have been successful without the support of a strong and close family.

Having those strong relationships continue to remind you what is really important.  It was when having our first child that I really started to develop my present idea of what my goals in life were and what success looked like for me.  It is with those relationships that I am really able to enjoy the journey and share the benefits with them.  So if you have a family, be sure that you are not neglecting them as you pursue your goals, career and service to others.

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2011: Success is not perfection

As we draw near to the end of this year many of us are looking back at the year to see where we succeeded and reached the goals we set for ourselves and where we failed to do so.  Lester Thurlow once said, ” You can lose, or, if you want to win, you can change.”

As we make plans for this new year, as we set goals, one of the goals we should avoid is creating the perfect plan or even trying to reach that ultimate goal.  I once had a business coach that kept telling me that if I had the product 70% ready I should roll it out.  Don’t wait till you have it perfect.  I think I understand that now.  If you want to succeed, you are never finished.  Success is in the journey, it is in the process.

Every time you fail, it simply gives you another opportunity to begin again, to be better than last time.  It is simply a milestone on your road to success.  We do not have to be perfect, we simply have to continue to adjust and keep moving.  If we surround ourselves with those that expect more of you than you do yourself we will stay on the success journey.

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Lunar Eclipse Reminds Us To Appreciate Our Lives

Last night one of the most interesting solar events took place.  It was a lunar eclipse, which in and of itself is not that unusual, but becomes more unusual when you realize that it fell on the winter solstice.  The last time that happened was hundreds of years ago, say 372 years to be exact and will not happen again till 2094.  I am pretty sure I will not be here in the flesh at that time so……

At 3 AM I was awakened to go out in the cold and observe.  Though I stayed only for a few minutes, the photo I have featured here is what I saw. (I did not take this photo)  It was amazing and inspiring.  I would have liked to have stayed up to watch the entire event, as the sky was clear and the stars bright, but it was not happening that morning.  (There are many mornings that 3:30 is my wake up time)

Observing the solar system in this manner, or nature in general, has always inspired me to think Continue reading “Lunar Eclipse Reminds Us To Appreciate Our Lives”

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Free perfect gift to give to our children

In the book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John Maxwell writes;

“We should work on changing ourselves before trying to improve others.”

Working to improve ourselves is a full time job.  In fact so much so that my mentor and instructor, Mr. Tom Callos has many times said to me and others, that whatever it is that you need to work on for yourself, you should bring your students along and have them work along with you.

Every time that I research or write about a subject, I find myself looking at myself and finding ways for me to improve in those areas.  Whether we are a parent, instructor or a 7 year old with a younger sibling, all of us have a responsibility to ourselves and to those looking up to us.  That responsibility is not just to tell them what to do, but to demonstrate in our daily lives how to do it.

Yes we are going to fail from time to time, but that is a lesson for them too.  When I fail what shall I do?  Fall down 7 get up 8.   The gift that all of us can give our children, students and others in our sphere of influence, is being a good example.