Due to the icy conditions and the closing of public schools due to inclement weather, Balanced Life Skills will be closed. Our policy is to follow the AA County School Systems policy. If anyone has any questions about their schedule please feel free to contact us through the website and we will get back to you as soon as possible.
Don’t forget the special offer that ends on January 31st for all adults who would like to try our classes. See the SPECIAL OFFER HERE.
The relationships we have with those that we lead, will have an affect on their willingness to want to help us on our projects. In family life as parents, the relationships we have with our spouse and our children also affect how well the team works together. The stronger the relationships are, the more understanding there is of one another, and the greater the connection.
While much has been written about building those relationships here are a few guidelines that will make a difference in our family relationships, ultimately building a stronger team.
1. Know who you are and what your values and goals are. Your relationships with family members starts with knowing yourself first and then being yourself.
2. Communication with your children and family, regularly spotlighting the efforts of all to achieve the teams goals and praising with sincerity and accurateness.
3. Know every family member and what they care about deep inside. This is especially important for spouses. If one in the family has a passion for a subject or art, working together to give time to pursue that will speak volumes to the children. The team can have varied interest – but all will be set to the tune of achieving their goals.
4. Live your message by practicing what you preach. What you value, your ethics and morals will be seen by your children long before they hear your speeches.
5. Go to where they are, not expecting your children to have the same interest as yourself. Showing that kind of respect will open any communication barriers and you can find a way to teach from that perspective. As it was once said, They do not care how much you know, till they know how much you care.
6. Focus on other family members and you will be loved for your selflessness. Their love and respect will be returned for many years to come. Allowing all in the family to be who they are, while working together to reach the goals and fulfill the mission of the family, will create an atmosphere of love and respect.
7. Believe in them, even when things are not going the way they or you thought that they might. Recognizing the value of each person as an individual in the family will go a long way to building the communication and respect for each other.
8. Offer direction and hope to all members of your team. Ultimately as a leader, parents set the goals of the team. Once the goals are set, the vision seen, our job as parents is to help all on the team to believe in the outcome and see the possibilities of achieving the goal.
Celebrate often. As progress on your goals and mission are seen – celebrate the success, giving credit to the team members.
We have in the past week seen a most horrific crime take place in Tucson Arizona. The shooting of so many individuals, resulting in the death of 6 and the physical and emotional injury to not just the individuals at the public event, but an entire nation. This event reminds us that we must be aware of our surroundings at all times and be aware of the actions of individuals that may be a warning sign of danger.
This is not to say that any of the suggestions here would have helped on that day in Tucson, but these reminders may help us avoid a situation that may occur at a sporting event, or at the mall – but only if we are sensitive to the possibilities.
How to spot a possible bad situation:
We do not want to become paranoid about every person we see or a recluse out of fear. But if we do see situations that fit the questions we have asked, it may be a good idea to remove ourselves from that situation or vicinity. Doing so may save our life and that of our loved ones.
By the time a child reaches third grade they are fully aware of the comparisons and assessments being made of them in everything from social skills and personality to physical appearance and athletic ability. They are at a real crossroad in their early lives where their self esteem is either built or broken. They now have a choice to make as to whether their decisions will be made from an internal direction or if the choices they make will be based on external influences.
As parents / leaders we too have to consider how we are leading both our personal and professional life. Are we trying to impress others in order to influence them, or are we focused on who we really are, not trying to be perfect in the eyes of others or the center of attention. If the example we set for our children, in our personal life is – saying, wearing, and driving the right thing, having the right job and social status or the example we set in our professional life is – struggling to get ahead, looking out for number one, working long hard hours to make the credit card payments – our children notice.
Children will see it in our words, actions and feelings and they will also feel the pressure to follow suit. Always trying to impress others is hard work. Both personally and professionally those who are leaders attract others to themselves by focusing on others rather than themselves. They ask questions, listen and don’t try to be the center of attention. Being the leader in the family, setting this example will produce children that will make decisions based on internal directions – morals, values, and ethics – rather than being influenced by outside peer pressures. Is that not how we want our children to really make decisions?
Leaders in an organization think about decisions based on the large picture and the impact that they will have on the people in the organization and if it fits within the mission of the company. As parents and especially if we have more than one child we need to look at our decisions and the effect they will have on the entire team.
I have seen some families that have made decisions that were great for one child in the family but disastrous for others. For instance if you have decided to send your children to a particular school. The atmosphere and method of instruction may be perfect for one and not so good for another. One sport may be a perfect fit for one and not so good for one of your other children. Making decisions that benefit the entire team is what leaders / parents do.
As a leader / parent we understand how our family is going to work the best for all members and for the good of the community. What can we do that will benefit our family as individuals? How does it fit into our community of friends, school, church or other organizations? How does it relate to each individual member of the our team / family? Some activities and individual preferences may need to be put on hold for the benefit of the bigger picture.
So here is the question we can ask: What positive improvements can you make today based on your understanding of your family missions and values? What impact will it have on other family members, community members and globally?
When I think about excellence in leadership one of the persons that come to my mind who was able to achieve excellence in his field and from his team members was John Wooden. What he was known for was stressing excellence to his players, working hard and doing so to reach their highest potential. This is an important lesson for leaders in the work world and in parenting.
Our children, if we have more than one, will all be different. One may be the easiest child to be around. They listen, accept correction, work on making changes that we would like to see in them. Then we have our second or third child and they are oh so different, and we are at a loss. What did we do different, why are things so much harder with this child? Continue reading “Parents & Leadership: Focus on what you can do.”
