Teaching Listening Skills Builds Peace in the Family and Classroom

All parents and teachers must believe that the work they are doing with their children and students will create the qualities that we value the most. You might ask yourself, “What qualities do I value the most in my own life and how am I teaching my children these values?”  In my own experience I believe that we will never change the personality of our children but our mission as parents and teachers is to pass on to our children values, morals and ethics.

At Balanced Life Skills we value compassion, awareness and respect. I believe that if we can become aware of our affect on situations and others, if we are mindful of our affect we can then demonstrate compassion and respect. As we follow through on these, we will be building peace, in ourselves, our community and the world.

Learning to listen, actively listen, is one of the cornerstones to building awareness, compassion and respect. Teaching good listening skills begins with us modeling active listening skills. Here are a few tips in good listening:

  • Listen without interrupting a child
  • Suspend your own thoughts
  • Empathize with what is being said
  • Non verbal language by nodding, leaning in to the speaker
  • Avoid looking around (or at your phone / computer)

If you’re a teacher with a large class of students you may want to have a sign that indicates that you need their attention, along with the words “Please look at me” or something similar. Teach your students if they are addressing the class, to use the same words and signs to gain the classes attention. This empowers the student speaking and the feelings of respect are being developed.

In the coming weeks look for our curriculum on Listening Skills as a part of the Balanced Life Skills Way for all of our students.

X-men: Paradigms of Perfect Health

Colossus_and_WolverineAny description of life for me and my class would be incomplete without some small mention of hypothetical X-men questions. If you aren’t familiar with the X-men, I’ll refer you to the movies that have come out over the last few years portraying these superhero mutants from Marvel comic books, each with distinctive super-human abilities. If you are familiar with the X-men, you may have played this game yourself with some friends. You ask, “Would you rather have Storm’s powers or Rogue’s?” Or “Would you rather be able to teleport or be able to fly?” The question on my mind today is this: which is better, Colossus’s hard invulnerability or Wolverine’s seemingly infinite healing capacity?

Now bear with me. I know this question is pointless, except in that it parallels my own shifting sense of what is healthy. When I was living and exercising in the U.S., I used to think a hard muscle was a strong muscle. I suspect many people out there think the same way. However, others may have changed their minds, like I did. I have come to believe that a happy, strong muscle is soft. A hard muscle is one that can not relax. Either through bad posture habits or chronic mental tension, the muscle is always in a state of contraction. Often this hardness is even a sign of weakness: a muscle in the body that is too weak to do its job efficiently gradually locks down into a sort of brittle death grip. Hardness is a sign of blocked circulation and imminent failure, not strength. A healthy muscle has strength ample for the tasks that will be asked of it, and is able to relax when not called upon to contract. Because it is loose, blood, fluid, and nutrients circulate freely and easily within it and through it to other parts of the body, so it recovers from injury more easily.

I have also come to think about the immune system in a similar way. I feel like in the west no one trusts their immune system very much. We go to great lengths to keep microorganisms outside our skin, because we take it for granted that once they’re in they will do us harm. This seems to me to be a brittle and ultimately futile strength. Though we must be careful not to take in too many pathogens or toxins, accepting that we are permeable to our environment seems vital to me. The body has mechanisms that filter toxins, generate cells, and repair what is broken. We must trust in these sometimes, augment and strengthen them, and they will serve us much better than gallons of hand sanitizer.

Sound familiar? Kind of like Colossus and Wolverine, right? Not so much? Oh well, that doesn’t matter. What I think is important is spreading a more accurate idea of what a healthy body really is. If, when we train, we focus on how to strengthen and augment the body’s natural resilience, we stand a much better chance of weathering the health obstacles that life throws in our path.

Why do I ponder the relative merits of comic book heroes? What can I say — my class spends an awful lot of time together, and these days, who isn’t a nerd at heart?

Charity Demonstrates: Compassion, Awareness & Respect

The Balanced Life Skills Way is “Compassion, Awareness & Respect”. Our focus this month is on the concept and action of Charity. How does Charity demonstrate each of these “Ways”?

compassion

Charity & Compassion – Charity is about giving to those in need without expecting anything in return.  When we see a situation that is difficult, compassion calls on us, tugs at our heart and looks for ways to help.  It may not always be another person.  We can have compassion for animals, situations, the environment or an emergency.  Our compassion may be based on fairness or justice or it may be a recognition of our inter – dependance that we have with each other when we feel the suffering of another.  Developing compassion is related to empathy and having an understanding of what another may be going through.

Charity & Awareness – Charity like many other parts of our life begins with Awareness.  If we are not aware of a difficult situation we will never be moved to act with compassion.  As an example we may not be aware of the hunger going on in the world, or of the cruelty to animals that might be taking place or the violence against women in certain cultures.  Until we are aware and especially if we are aware on a personal level – like we have seen it with our own eyes or held the children in an orphanage, it is difficult to be compassionate and charitable.

Charity & Respect – Charity is about respect for life and the environment.  Being able to get rid of our egos, to be able to treat others the way we would want to be treated and the way they would like to be treated.  Respect is not condescending nor does it allow for an attitude of superiority when we are giving.

Charity, our ability and actions of giving to those who are in need, begins at home with our own parents and siblings first, with an awareness of their needs, compassion for their feelings and respect for their rights.  It is the Balanced Life Skills Way.

 

Video Games Relationship to Impulsivity & Aggression

Normally I do not re-post the extra material we give to our students on Balanced Life Skills  student site, but this is too important for all parents to know in regard to their children.

kids-videogames

The playing of video games have long been a concern of many parents.  For some the concerns have been about encouraging violence, physical health, the addictiveness and time spent on the little screen, depressive behaviors.  There are many other concerns that we will discuss at other times dealing with stereotyping too that do not get the attention they deserve.

But here is a new concern that I have not read about previously but is backed up with a study that makes a lot of sense.  The playing of fast paced video games can “reduce the ability of the person to inhibit impulsive behavior.”

If you have ever tried to play some of these games, you will find that it requires a great deal of hand / eye coordination.  Very quick decisions also need to be made and in fact they are being made without “thought” – you just do.  This fast paced process does increase the players visual skills, but there is a downside.

The fast pace processing is training the brain to behave without thinking just doing “automatically” with impulsive reactions being quick and automatic.  The implications are far reaching including ADD, ADHD and impulsive aggression of all kinds.  In future posts I will show other examples of how our behavior is trained by what we surround ourselves with.

Anger management and education is self defense, protecting ourselves and our relationships from damage. To read more on these studies here are two resources:

http://www.spsp.org/?PressRelease_2Aug13

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/08/130804081115.htm

Self Defense – Health – Ovarian Cancer Awareness

I was at a meeting yesterday when I learned some things about women’s health that I believe is important to share with everyone I know and hopefully you will share it with all of the women in your life too.

ovariancancerOvarian Cancer Awareness

Every year over 20,000 women will get ovarian cancer. Ovarian cancer is NOT detected by a PAP Smear. Here though are four symptoms that if you have almost daily for a few weeks you need to see your GYN.

  • Bloating that is persistent
  • Eating less and feeling fuller
  • Abdominal pain
  • Trouble with your bladder

There may be other symptoms too. Check out SHOUT against the whisper on Facebook

This is Self Defense – Protecting Your Health

Charity (giving) begins by learning to give at home

child_helping_The idea of giving to others who are in need is not about feeling sorry for them or feeling  good about ourselves.  When we see that another person has a need, it is just the right thing to do,  to find a way to help them fill that need or find a way to fill their own needs.  In my mind a need does not have to be just physical needs.

Physical needs are many times very obvious.  It may be a need for clothing, food or shelter.  It may be toiletries or school supplies.  There are times when those needs are not readily seen or they may be disguised.  A child may not come to school because of not having the supplies they need.  Most of the time the physical needs are far easier to see than other needs.

All humans have a need for significance, love and connection.  Even when we come from a great circumstance physically, we have these basic needs. One of the ways we can give this to another is with our talents and time.