Student Shot at Perry Hall HS – Reminder that we must not ignore bullying

The school year has started and on the first day of the year we have a shooting at a school, with an individual who had allegedly been the target of bullying, taking matters into their own hands, found a gun and shot randomly.   Before you say, Oh that happened in a city school and would not happen with my school let me remind you that it was just 8 days after Columbine that in Canada another shooting took place and 8 individuals were shot.  Many of the parents there also said, This could not happen in Canada – and it did.

This past summer I taught three classes at Anne Arundel Community College for teachers on “Creating a Culture of Peace in the Classroom”. This school year I want to educate the entire community by reaching out to parents on the same topic of Bully Prevention. Each month I am offering a free “Bully Prevention Seminar for Parents” that  will cover the following subjects:

What is bullying?

What are the effects of bullying on all the parties involved?

Why children do not tell?

Six things every child must learn and how to teach them

What to do if your child is the target of bullying.

What to do if your child is the bully.

What to do if your child is a follower.

Have you ever wondered why some schools with the same programs and rules in place have a culture of kindness and others do not?  The Bully Prevention Seminar for Parents will answer this question, and many more.  If you are not able to attend one of the prescheduled seminars and would like to arrange for a different time or location, please feel free to contact us and we will work on making those arrangements.  The first free seminar will be at 9:15 AM on September the 4th at Balanced Life Skills in Annapolis, MD.

Every child deserves to feel safe in school, and it is our responsibility to work together as a team.  Parents, teachers, and the community working to build a culture of peace in the schools.

 

Chesapeake Speech and Language Associates adds new services

I am happy to tell you about Chesapeake Speech Language Associates (CSLA), who have served the children in our community who have learning differences.  Balanced Life Skills and CSLA have shared students over the years who have had speech and language disorders and some who have been on the Autism Spectrum.  This is a very good group who serve a very special part of our community.

If you know of a child who needs assistance with language skills or social skills, I can recommend them as a good resource.  You can reach them at 410-280-9788 or email Nancy Kriebel at nancy@chesapeakespeechlanguage.com .  Visit their website at CSLA

Cultural Blind Spots

I had a conversation with some of my classmates the other day about eating meals with our Chinese companions. The fact is, noisy eating doesn’t carry the taboo of bad manners here the way it does back home. Notice your own reaction as I describe this– lip smacking, loud slurping, and that “chuk chuk” sound you get when someone chews with their mouth open. How did you react? Did you crinkle your nose, or have a little involuntary shudder? It’s pretty ingrained in me to have a fairly strong reaction to these behaviors, and I gather that most other westerners feel the same way.

Change gears for a second. I once watched an lecture on TV about wine tasting. The instructor talked about essentially slurping the wine. Our sense of smell is such a large part of our sense of taste, so getting air into the wine and the bouquet into your nose lets you taste the wine more completely.

So what if our Chinese companions are experiencing their food more completely than we are thanks to eating habits that we won’t even consider because we have been taught to find them gross? Please don’t misunderstand, I am not arguing for slurping and open mouth chewing. But I think this example illustrates pretty clearly the idea of a cultural blind spot: an idea and experience that people of a given culture can’t even perceive because a cultural inhibition stops them from even looking in that direction. And I think this example also makes clear how subtle these inhibitions are. Coming to another country, living here, and being forced to deal with this culture as a daily reality instead of a holiday novelty has made me question many such customs that I had taken for granted before. I have been forced to reconsider the difference between being of a specific culture and being human.

Life Skills: Cooperation – The Definition

Teaching character and life skills to students

 

Each month we define and discuss a word of character development and life skill with all of our students.

This month the word is Cooperation and will be defined this way.

Young students: Cooperation means, “Let’s work together!.”

Older students: Cooperation means:  Working together towards a common goal.

Here are the worksheets for our students:

Worksheet – Cooperation for Tiger Tots

Worksheet – Cooperation for 5-6 yr. olds

Worksheet – Cooperation for 7 – 12 yr. olds

Worksheet – Cooperation for Teens & Adults

If you would like to see how we will talk about COOPERATION with our students please follow our discussions here during the month of AUGUST or come in and TRY A CLASS.

 

Teaching in Hunan

For the past three weeks, I was away from Wudangshan, teaching a summer program for kids at a new Wudang Kungfu school. My younger kungfu brother’s new school is located in Yiyang city, in Hunan province. The summer program is a 40 day session, but because I am still a student and need to continue to work on my own kungfu, my classmate and I agreed to split the time in half. I did the first three weeks, he will do the next three weeks.

It was a pretty interesting experience. Over the last few years I have settled into the rhythm of life in Wudang, where we have a nice expat community to take the edge off of the culture shock of living in China. This assignment in Hunan was my longest period spent alone exposed to China. For three weeks, I saw no foreigners, I had no fluent English conversations, and I had to try to be comfortable with Chinese culture in all its unblunted glory. To make matters worse, Yiyang’s local dialect is completely incomprehensible to me, and colors the local’s Mandarin so strangely that even that is painfully difficult for me converse in.

The teaching itself was fine. I taught basic kungfu and English to a group of ten kids ages 8-11 for four hours a day six days a week. I am growing more and more comfortable as a teacher, though starting out with a fresh batch of students is always hard. They have no experienced students for role models to imitate. Every detail of training and behavior that is so ingrained in me requires real effort to remember to explain them. For example, being ready for class. Often we would start class, and the kids would still be in denim shorts (to tight to stretch or kick in) with no shoes on, and have not eaten breakfast though they had been sitting around for an hour previous doing nothing. In Wudang, the standard is set and understood, that when class starts, you must be ready to train and if you are not you must live with the discomfort. To have to step back and teach that surprised me. This is something that the kids’ parents need to understand as well, but communicating with the adults was difficult for its own reasons.

Honestly, all my biggest problems were with the adults I dealt with down in Hunan. In my observation, mainstream Chinese culture seems at times to revolve around gaining face by pushing food, drink, and other indulgences on other people to demonstrate your own generosity and express your affection for them. The aspect of Chinese culture that I am studying, kungfu and Daoism, is much more healthy, restrained,  and disciplined. As a foreigner, it seemed impossible for me to make the adults I met appreciate these qualities in the way they treated me or the way they approached their children’s studies. I constantly walked a line, trying to be friendly and help promote the fledgling school, and still trying to avoid all the cigarettes, beer, rich food, and excess that was so insistently thrust at me.

As I re-read what I have written, I think it is funny that an American is complaining about the excesses of Chinese people, American life being what it is. What can I say, it’s the kungfu talking 🙂

Accountability for older children

Teaching character and life skills to students

This month we have been working on Accountability in our school with students. Of course I personally work on everything that I ask our students to work on. I thought I would share with parents a method of changing attitude and of learning that is not punishment.

Lets say that a child has acted out in a manner that is not acceptable to you and your family values. There may be a need for a consequence or there may be some natural consequences, but in the end what we really want is for the child to learn that not practicing that behavior is in their best interest. Continue reading “Accountability for older children”