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Polite words, good manners – yes courtesy – are both appreciated and remembered by others.  Recently I was told a story of a young man, whom at the age of 18 was asked to provide a skill for another person who was older than them.  The skill and the completed job was appreciated, but it was the “good manners” that stuck in the mind and heart of the recipient of the deed.

In a world where what is acceptable as manners seems to be changing, everyone finds the feeling of dignity and respect never goes out of style.  It may be as simple as the proper handshake, genuine smile or the eye contact to make the other person feel that, at that moment they are important to you.
It may be that we need to meet the other person where they are.  Imagine being in another country – isn’t it best to know what they consider to be respectful?  The same is true with the differences in generations here in our country.  While one generation may not expect a younger person to stand when an older person comes into the room, wouldn’t it be courteous if we knew that was seen as good manners for another generation, and that we are willing to demonstrate that symbol of respect.

While some may not remember what it is that they felt well about you, wouldn’t it be wonderful if it was because of the courtesy you showed in your interactions with them.

There are many people who believe that common courtesy is on the decline and they point to the use of technology and the decrease in face to face interactions among young people as the cause.  Courtesy is about being respectful and considerate of others feelings, needs and rights.

In family life when we get up in the morning we show courtesy by being pleasant.  If we need help and want the attention of another person we speak to them when we can see them – not hollering from one room to another.  If they are on the phone we are patient and wait for them to complete their call.  At the dinner table we use our manners of asking and not reaching.  We use polite words when asking and do not demand actions from others to help us.

Why would a child or an adult do otherwise in the family setting?  It could be a simple case of personal pride.  A belief that they are more important and their needs must be served prior to others.   When we believe that our feelings, needs or rights are more important than that of others, we begin to demand and we lose the gift of courtesy. We expect to see that from a young child, but we eventually want to see them progress in their respect for others.

Acting with courtesy shows that we respect and value others.  We recognize that our words and actions affect others.  What can you do to encourage courtesy from your children?  

• Set the example.
• Set expectations for family members  words and actions. (they have to be followed by everyone)
• Make Courtesy the Gift of Character you choose to practice this week.
• Use the Five Practices to grow this gift.

Learn to use the Gifts of Character in your family – Parenting: One on One is one way to learn the 5 Practices that parents can use to guide, counsel, and educate their children in creating a culture of peace in the family.

The result is children who grow up safe, healthy, successful and happy.

 

Each month we will discuss one gift of character with all of our students. This month the word is Courtesy.  This life skill will be defined in the following ways for our students.

Young students: Courtesy means: Polite words, kind ways!

Older students: Courtesy means:  Showing respect, kindness and consideration for others.

We are not your typical after school activity, in fact we are an education center, working with students on physical self defense skills, while empowering families to bring out the best in our children and ourselves – through the martial arts.  We believe every child has 52 gifts  in them already.  They only need to be taught how to grow and use them in their life.  Balanced Life Skills serves parents, teachers and students to reach that goal.

If you would like to see Joe Van Deuren and Balanced Life Skills at work,  TRY CLASSES FOR FREE for 2 weeks.