Posted on

Building a strong team with your family starts with relationships

The relationships we have with those that we lead, will have an affect on their willingness to want to help us on our projects.  In family life as parents, the relationships we have with our spouse and our children also affect how well the team works together.  The stronger the relationships are, the more understanding there is of one another, and the greater the connection.

While much has been written about building those relationships here are a few guidelines that will make a difference in our family relationships, ultimately building a stronger team.

1.  Know who you are and what your values and goals are.  Your relationships with family members starts with knowing yourself first and then being yourself.

2.  Communication with your children and family, regularly spotlighting the efforts of all to achieve the teams goals and praising with sincerity and accurateness.

3.  Know every family member and what they care about deep inside.  This is especially important for spouses.  If one in the family has a passion for a subject or art,  working together to give time to pursue that will speak volumes to the children.  The team can have varied interest – but all will be set to the tune of achieving their goals.

4.  Live your message by practicing what you preach.  What you value, your ethics and morals will be seen by your children long before they hear your speeches.

5.  Go to where they are, not expecting your children to have the same interest as yourself.  Showing that kind of respect will open any communication barriers and you can find a way to teach from that perspective.  As it was once said, They do not care how much you know, till they know how much you care.

6.  Focus on other family members and you will be loved for your selflessness.  Their love and respect will be returned for many years to come.  Allowing all in the family to be who they are, while working together to reach the goals and fulfill the mission of the family, will create an atmosphere of love and respect.

7.  Believe in them, even when things are not going the way they or you thought that they might.  Recognizing the value of each person as an individual in the family will go a long way to building the communication and respect for each other.

8.  Offer direction and hope to all members of your team.  Ultimately as a leader, parents set the goals of the team.  Once the goals are set, the vision seen, our job as parents is to help all on the team to believe in the outcome and see the possibilities of achieving the goal.

Celebrate often.  As progress on your goals and mission are seen – celebrate the success, giving credit to the team members.

Posted on

Be Safe: How to spot a bad situation

We have in the past week seen a most horrific crime take place in Tucson Arizona.  The shooting of so many individuals, resulting in the death of 6 and the physical and emotional injury to not just the individuals at the public event, but an entire nation.  This event reminds us that we must be aware of our surroundings at all times and be aware of the actions of individuals that may be a warning sign of danger.

This is not to say that any of the suggestions here would have helped on that day in Tucson, but these reminders may help us avoid a situation that may occur at a sporting event, or at the mall –  but only if we are sensitive to the possibilities.

How to spot a possible bad situation:

  • Is there a person who seems to be agitated or preoccupied
  • How are they speaking? Listen for the words they may be saying or how they are saying it.
  • Is there a change in their voice?  Did it get louder or very quiet?
  • Are there signs of stress in their voice or facial expression?  Does the individual looked like they are in a daze or without any expression?
  • Are their eyes becoming more narrow or darting about?
  • Are there aggressive gestures that go along with angry outburst?
  • Is there a behavior that is not appropriate for the situation, anything that seems strange to you?

We do not want to become paranoid about every person we see or a recluse out of fear.  But if we do see situations that fit the questions we have asked, it may be a good idea to remove ourselves from that situation or vicinity.  Doing so may save our life and that of our loved ones.

Posted on

Vision: What if our vision needs to be changed?

We have been talking to all of our students about using vision, visualization, or imagination to see themselves accomplishing a goal that they have set for themselves.  Using all of our senses to make it as real as we can in our head.  Most of us have played a game or sport that we pictured in our mind  that we were up to bat in the 9th inning with 2 out and the bases were loaded, or a scenario in basketball, football, tennis, swimming or other activity.  We can create the feeling of  the pressure as we make the shot or swim the length of the pool. It becomes very real.    That is vision.

What should we do though if the vision we have is filled with thoughts of fear and doubt.  If we only see ourselves failing, falling down or not achieving?  This would have a negative impact on our success, and we would likely not do as well as we wished.  So what can we do?

We need to change the vision.  Yes we need to go back and remake the movie in our mind.  If we are having difficulty in seeing a better result, it is within us.  We may not be seeing beyond the ‘limit circle’  that we have created around ourselves.  If we will permit ourselves to push beyond the limits we have set for ourselves, to visualize larger opportunities and possibilities and achieving them, the more power we will find in ourselves to accomplish our desired outcome.

Posted on

Will your child succumb to peer pressure?

By the time a child reaches third grade they are fully aware of the comparisons and assessments being made of them in everything from social skills and personality to physical appearance and athletic ability.  They are at a real crossroad in their early lives where their self esteem is either built or broken.    They now have a choice to make as to whether their decisions will be made from an internal direction or if the choices they make will be based on external influences.

As parents / leaders we too have to consider how we are leading both our personal and professional life.  Are we trying to impress others in order to influence them, or are we focused on who we really are, not trying to be perfect in the eyes of others or the center of attention.  If the example we set for our children, in our personal life is – saying, wearing, and driving the right thing, having the right job and social status or the example we set in our professional life is – struggling to get ahead, looking out for number one, working long hard hours to make the credit card payments – our children notice.

Children will see it in our words, actions and feelings and they will also feel the pressure to follow suit.  Always trying to impress others is hard work.  Both personally and professionally those who are leaders attract others to themselves by focusing on others rather than themselves.  They ask questions, listen and don’t try to be the center of attention.  Being the leader in the family, setting this example will produce children that will make decisions based on internal directions – morals, values, and ethics – rather than being influenced by outside peer pressures.  Is that not how we want our children to really make decisions?

Posted on

Vision: Action with Vision makes positive difference

How important is it to have a vision of the goal you have set for yourself?   Here is what one person said about this subject, ” Vision without Action is a dream.  Action without Vision is simply passing time.  Action with Vision is making a positive difference.”   Having a vision of where we want to be or what we want to become is really an appeal to better ourselves and possibly influence others to do the same.

The vision we create in our mind will engage all of our senses and will become very real to us and this becomes an assurance that we will reach our goal can be seen and felt by others around us.  Vision can even have an affect on others to help them reach their goals and by creating their own visions.  To be the best at visualizing we must use all of our senses.

If we can imagine it, we will be able to not only see it happening in every detail, we will also be able to feel, hear, smell and taste it too.  Take the time to think about what you would like to see from yourself in both the short term and long term, and on a daily basis create it in your mind as a reality.  Doing so will affect your commitment to your goal.  Seeing it in your mind will make you believe it to be possible.  Believing it will assure you can achieve your goal.

Posted on

Seeing the big picture

Leaders in an organization think about decisions based on the large picture and the impact that they will have on the people in the organization and if it fits within the mission of the company.  As parents and especially if we have more than one child we need to look at our decisions and the effect they will have on the entire team.

I have seen some families that have made decisions that were great for one child in the family but disastrous for others.  For instance if you have decided to send your children to a particular school.  The atmosphere and method of instruction may be perfect for one and not so good for another.  One sport may be a perfect fit for one and not so good for one of your other children.  Making decisions that benefit the entire team is what leaders / parents do.

As a leader / parent we understand how our family is going to work the best for all members and for the good of the community.  What can we do that will benefit our family as individuals?  How does it fit into our community of friends, school, church or other organizations?  How does it relate to each individual member of the our team / family?  Some activities and individual preferences may need to be put on hold for the benefit of the bigger picture.

So here is the question we can ask:  What positive improvements can you make today based on your understanding of your family missions and values?   What impact will it have on other family members, community members and globally?