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Valuing each member of your family

I personally believe your most important team you will ever be on is your family.  I talk about this with our students from day one of their training in the martial arts.  As in the world of sports or business, the teammate that values others and does things that makes others on the team better is extremely valuable to team.  So how does this apply to the family?

1.  Great leaders / parents  believe in their teammates.  That means each spouse trusts and believes in the other and that both of them set expectations for their children, not based on what they have seen in the past, or on what others might think, but rather on the values, ethics and morals of their own family.   Children will only perform to the expectation of the ones that they respect.

2.  Great leaders / parents  are willing to listen to and support what their spouse and children are interested in.  This support demonstrates to others that their interest are valuable, and when someone see their value to others they are more willing to stay connected to them.   The ability and willingness to listen even to our children, sets a great example for them.

3.  Great leaders / parents, once they find the uniqueness and gifts of their spouses and children, are then willing to look for ways to help them increase those abilities.  This is a way of adding value to your teammate and in the long run will improve not only their abilities, but also their attitude.

4.  Great leaders / parents work to improve themselves, as this benefits everyone on the team and it helps you help others even more.  If you want your family members, business partners, teammate of any kind to improve, making yourself better is one of the first steps.  On so many levels others will see you and your actions as a way of stepping up themselves as you set the example.

So how does your family view you?  Do each of them see you as one that values them and their interests?  Do they see you as a supporter and helper?  Do you know what each member of your family interests really are and can you find a way to help them improve in that interest?  Doing so will empower others to be successful and you to be seen as a great leader.

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Vision: One month into goals – where are you?

During the month of January we have been talking to our students about setting goals and how to achieve them.  This is a process that many of us parents have gone through for many years.  Unfortunately for many, here in the third and fourth week of January we have already gotten off track from the goal that we pictured in our mind early in the month.  So why did that happen?

Goal setting and vision need to go hand in hand.  Setting a goal without really being able to see it and imagine what the goal would look like and feel like as if it already has happened, most times results in our goal only being a dream that quickly fades as the day to day happenings start to take place.

If we want our children to be able to set a goal, plan for it, examine how it is working and adjust as required to stay on track for achieving their goal, we must model that for them.  As a parent we can do that by  talking about our goals with the family.  Talk about what the family goals are, when and how you work on them, even about the roadblocks that you are working through.

The more you show the importance of goals personally and for the family, the more likely it is that our children will set their own goals and envision them too.  Here is a slogan I heard that is great for encouraging us to stick to our goals, “Each day should start fast, finish strong”.

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Developing Solid Relationships With Our Children

As a leader in a business you know the importance of relationships.  If you are on a school advisory board or work on a committee in any social situation, it is relationships that can make the difference in successful projects.  If you know someone from other parts of their lives, you will know better what makes them tick, what their strengths and weaknesses are.  All of this comes from spending time with them outside the committee, employment or social environment you are presently working in.

Much the same with your family and children.  If you can spend some time with your children outside of the time of taking them to and from school and their activities, you will learn a lot more about them.  You may even help prevent some of the most commons ails of children today.  It was said to me one time by a psychologist,  that if a parent would spend just one hour per week with each of their child alone, doing something that they enjoyed doing, outside of the normal things that you do, that we would rid ourselves of a very large percentage of the ADHD cases that we have in America today.

Developing relationships with your children in this manner, will allow you to lead them in other areas of their lives more effectively.  It will help both of you to grow in your relationship along with social and emotional growth.  The confidence your child will gain with the feeling of really belonging to a well lead family unit will go a long way in keeping them safe from many of the obstacles and road bumps children meet today.

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The Value of Your Time

Our time is valuable and all parents have the same reaction when we see how fast our children grow up.  I look at my own family and here we are with our youngest who will be graduating from college this spring.  Where did the time go?  We have learned about the formative years and we know that our relationships with our children will have an impact on how things go in their teen years.  Yes our time is valuable – especially with our children.

In fact we hear the term spending our time.  This is a very real term.  In the stead of thinking about how we spend our money, we may want to think about this in terms of money.  If we are going to take 5 years to save enough to pay for an item, no matter what the item is, we are in fact spending one- twelfth of our adult life for this item.  Is this item worth spending that amount of time?

Talk to anyone in their 50’s or 60’s and you will hear that what and how they think about their time is different.  They begin thinking about what they will be remembered for, what will they contribute to their community and society, the world?  I would suggest that now is the time to think about those things.  If we can help parents and young students to ask themselves, What is worth spending my life on?  What is on my agenda today that is worthy of my life?

Each of us have the same number of hours in the day and week.  Once it is gone, there is no bringing it back.  In the matter of time management, one question that will impact your effectiveness is, What are the 4 or 5  things that I can do today that will have the biggest impact on my children, my goals and life?  The time we spend with our children, the guidance on a day to day basis that we give to them is one thing that will have a very large impact on them, on the world and your own happiness.  Seeing your work in that light may just change the way you manage your time.

Whats on your schedule today?  Are they worthy of your life?

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Self Defense: Personal Safety Strategies for Children and Adults

In the past week in our own local area there have been a number of assaults that have taken place, one of them on a young victim.  This is troubling to me personally and I hope that some of the tips that we offer here will be helpful to some in our community.  Just today an interview with some safety experts by PATCH was published on line and we were asked to show a couple of simple techniques in a video taken at our studio.  I have attached a link to that interview and video.

In addition please find some basic safety rules that every child should know and parents should require of their children.  In our martial arts school we talk about self defense in a number of different ways and levels.  Our training is always age appropriate in a manner of the way it is taught and what is taught.  Self Defense is a part of our classes and we offer courses for individuals both on safety and bully prevention.

General safety tips (pdf)

One final note on Self Defense.  Self Defense is more than just getting out of bad situations or away from bad guys.  The Balanced Life Skills self defense taught in our classes also deals with all the other things in life that will hurt us, like dealing with anger, our diets (diabetes), practicing environmental awareness and more.  I personally believe that we must learn to protect ourselves from everything that can harm us.

For anyone who has been a victim of attack, please feel free to call and talk to us.  We are happy to help you in learning how to protect yourself and your loved ones.

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Balanced Life Skills will be closed today

logoDue to the icy conditions and the closing of public schools due to inclement weather, Balanced Life Skills will be closed.  Our policy is to follow the AA County School Systems policy.  If anyone has any questions about their schedule please feel free to contact us through the website and we will get back to you as soon as possible.

Don’t forget the special offer that ends on January 31st for all adults who would like to try our classes.  See the SPECIAL OFFER HERE.