Is it a mistake that has been made, or have not responded appropriately? What we can learn about acceptance from jazz.
Life Skills: Acceptance – Expanding Our Life Experience
Have you ever noticed that it is usually the differences between one person, group, or country with another that are viewed as wrong, shortcomings or not acceptable – that create some of the biggest challenges and aggressive behavior? It can make things very difficult to move forward, to have an understanding, and to achieving goals in a team like manner. If I look at someone and immediately reject them and their experiences because they do not fit our idea of being like us, we may be rejecting an opportunity to expand our own knowledge and experience.
If we have a hard time being accepting we may miss out on meeting and getting to know new people, trying new things or even learning about new things. Being able to look past the appearances may allow us to explore the individuality of someone new. Have you ever had a conversation with someone that normally you would not be conversing with, only to find out how interesting they are, or that the two of you have some very common interests?
Everyone of us has a story. In my experience I have found that we are more the same than we might expect. Being able to accept someone for who they are, what they might look like and where they are in their life is one of the keys to expanding our own experiences in life.
Life Skills: Acceptance – How Parents Can Start Teaching Acceptance to Our Children
Long before we are able to accept others for who they are, we must learn to accept ourselves for who we are. It was interesting how when our students were asked about one thing that they liked about themselves, they came up with the things they like to do. Then a few of them talked about how they liked being a kind person, or someone who made friends easily.
Liking ourselves begins with knowing what we enjoy doing, our favorite (whatever) and then being willing to stick with that even if it is different than what others like to do. As parents we sometimes have in our mind what we would like to see our children like and how we would like to see them be. However if our child likes to build things they may not be the next greatest soccer player, no matter how much we would like to see that happen. As a parent our acceptance of that and celebration of them is important to their growth in self-esteem, confidence and resistance to bullying that may take place.
Never underestimate the power of our words. In one of our classes after not getting a great response to what do you like about yourself, I proceeded to look at each student and tell them what I found unique and special about each of them. Later in the evening I asked one of the students what they had said about themselves and she could not remember. But quickly said, “But I remember what you said.” Affirming our appreciation for what is different and unique and special about our children will help them to accept themselves and from there we can build on accepting others.
Life Skills: “Acceptance” the Definition
Each month we define and discuss a word of character development and life skill with all of our students.
This month the word is Acceptance and will be defined this way.
Young students: Acceptance means: “It’s OK to be different”
Older students: Acceptance means: Respect for the differences between oneself, others and the way people do things.
Here are the worksheets for our students:
Acceptance Worksheet Tiger Tots
Acceptance Worksheet Teens Adults
If you would like to see how we will talk about this subject with our students please follow our discussions here during the month of November or come in and TRY A CLASS.
Why Martial Arts?
I’ve had the chance to try a few different kinds of exercise and methods for improving the body and mind. Soccer, PE classes, lacrosse, yoga, running, swimming, and other pursuits. My experience here in Wudang has helped me understand how vitally important maintaining your body is (I’ve come to think of it as rather like brushing your teeth- you feel better if you do it, and if you don’t, you won’t have much to work with a few years down the road). But so much of my training here is only tangentially martial in nature. So sometimes I wonder, “Why martial arts?” Couldn’t I be just as happy studying yoga or some other art that would keep my mind and body connected without the occasional traumatic punch to the face? Why do I instinctively feel that there is something special about martial arts?
I have quite a few answers for myself, but recently I have been thinking about a new way in which the “martial” bit of martial arts is crucial. What it does is it teaches, in very clear, black and white terms, the lessons of personal responsibility and acceptance. Under the supervision of an attentive teacher or master, the dynamics of a fight or sparring match (and the preparation for such) strip away excuses and provide clear consequences. Getting hit stinks. You quickly learn to want to avoid that at all cost. But if you got hit, it is because you let your opponent hit you. Hitting you is your opponent’s job. There is no, “I wasn’t ready,” no,” That’s not fair,” no, “Can we do that over?” At the same time, you can’t dwell on the pain of the last hit. You have to accept it instantly and move on, or experience it again, and worse.
Under a good teacher or master, this acceptance of pain and responsibility spreads from the fighting scenario into daily training, and from there into daily life. If you got hit, you need to prepare better, train harder. If you didn’t train hard enough, it’s because you felt ill because you ate too much or didn’t sleep enough the night before. If you didn’t sleep enough, it’s because you procrastinated at work or school and had to stay up late to finish a project. You are %100 responsible for all of these things. At the same time, when once you mess up, you have to accept it and use it to get ready for next time, because next time is coming. There are other ways to learn these lessons, but the martial arts are teaching them to me in clear, non-negotiable terms.
Balanced Life Skills Supports Teens in County Foster Care
For the past 5 weeks Balanced Life Skills has been seeking the support and help of local businesses and individuals in our efforts to support teens from Anne Arundel County who find themselves in foster care. There are over 100 teens in foster care who in our opinion deserve to have a nice Christmas this year. Over the last couple of years we have been able to give them a gift card or two for them to take to the store and find something that they would like to have.
This year has been a bit more difficult and we are appealing to all in our area to help us in this final week to provide a small gift card to each of these teens. I have attached a letter and form for making a contribution either by cash or gift card for this very worthy endeavor. Foster Teens request
Thank you for your assistance and please share this request with others. A small donation by many will be the way we make a difference in the lives of these young boys and girls.