How a child or adult feels about themselves is what self esteem is all about. What is it that you like about yourself is something that we can ask our children, or what is it that you did today that made you smile about yourself?
Giving our children the opportunity to have gratitude about who they are will over time build their self esteem. At the same time that we are encouraging them to think about what they like about themselves, a little note or kind word to them about something that is special about them, will go a long way to helping them feel good about themselves too.
Then one of my favorites is the simple but highly effective SMILE. A smile from us to our children reminds them that we approve of them being them. It will also bring ourselves as parents under more control when they the children donât have our greatest approval. đ
Over and over on Facebook I have been seeing this video being played that is noted below. So many workmates and others on Facebook have come to the side of the news anchor in support and it is heartwarming to see so many stand up for this young lady. The words that were sent to her obviously did nothing to make her feel good about herself and many of her colleagues and others have denounced what they called bullying. Please watch this and then I will comment on what I saw and heard.
Sending an email like this to someone whom you do not know anything about but what you see on TV was wrong. Would I like to see her lose weight. Yes for her own health’s sake. Do I know if she is on a medication that may lead to retention of weight? No I do not. Do I know if she has a medical condition that causes her to not be able to keep weight off? I do not. So I should keep my mouth shut and accept her for who she is and how she conducts herself. I may want to practice some empathy, tolerance, consideration.
But is this a case of bullying? The answer is a clear NO. Is this a case of a typical bullying behavior (name calling)? That is a clear YES. This was not bullying as defined by all of the experts, as bullying is defined as being DELIBERATE (with the intention to hurt someone) REPEATED (targeting the same person again and again) POWER IMBALANCE (difference in social, economical or some other perceived imbalance). This situation does not seem to fit this definition.
However the message she delivered in response to the sender was spot on. It covered many good points and I commend her for the response. But I would suggest that it was not bullying and not fair to those who are really being bullied, who have put up with all sorts of messages, physical and verbal abuse, being ostracized or manipulated or rumors & gossip being spread about them or many times much worse.
We should not be misusing the bullying tag. Â We can and should stand up against bullying behavior and bullying. Â But when we mix up bullying with bad taste, uncivilized behavior it is a slap in the face to the thousands of individuals who are bullied everyday.
I”ve been bullied, ALL BY GIRLS, since I was 10. When it first started it was these twin girls who harrassed me too my face, told rumors about me. When they left the school, they started to cyberbully me. I was so hurt, and even got some death threats. I was scared, but ignored them so they got bored and moved on. Then I was 12, and this girl I was friends with suddenly decided she thought I was a “loser” for no reason. She stopped when I was 14. When I was 13 though, I had a friend and she made fun of EVERYTHING I did from Septmeber until around April or May. I finally told a teacher when she threw a fruit in my hair. I was miserable. She was suspended for half a day. It was horrible. Then my best friend, while all this was happening, decided she liked the bully more than me, so she joined in, but only on the computer. The bullying finally stopped for awhile. Then, when I was 14, this girl, also my friend, decided I needed to feel worthless. It was terrible I didn”t think this was very fair. She”s being nice to me again. My other old friend was also bullying me about how I spoke and apparently I”m clingy. She gossiped about me all the time. That”s resolved too. Sometimes I just wonder what I”m doing wrong because so many people start to dislike me randomly.
What can you do spread awareness and end bullying in your community? Â This month of October is National Bully Prevention Month. Â When you read a story like this from a 14 year old girl, how does it make you feel? Â The Pacer Center is sending this message to everyone – The end of bullying begins with me!
Everyone would agree that achieving goals require self discipline. It does not matter if the goals we have are about how we eat, our finances, personal relationships, organizing our work, reducing our television watching or anything else it all requires self discipline.
The fourth part of gaining self discipline is more than just saying we are going to do something – it is in fact the step of setting self – discipline goals. This fourth step is the basis of all the rest that we have talked about. If you do not have clearly defined, short term and long term goals – you have no need for self control, motivation or persistence.
Self discipline goals are about self improvement and the goals must be clearly defined or specific with dates or time frames included. Simply wanting something is not enough, but when you are specific about what you want, when you want to accomplish it by, and set up specific actions and schedule then you can use self control, motivation, and persistence in reaching your self improvement goal.
If I have a goal of eating 5 portions of vegetables every day, then we can ask ourselves every time we eat if we are demonstrating self discipline in our eating habit and working to reach the goal. We may have to use self control and not eat something less healthy, or we may have to rethink our motivation or remind ourselves that individuals with self discipline would persist in getting all of the portions in to the day. How would a self disciplined person thnk or act? When you demonstrate self discipline you will thank yourself later for being strong, exercising self control, and persisting with your specific goal.
This is the fourth in a series of post on self discipline:
If you would like to see how we will talk about Self  Esteem with our students please follow our discussions here during the month of OCTOBER or come in and TRY A CLASS.
In April of this year a study was released showing that American kids are exposed to four hours of TV per day. There has been for some time growing evidence that large amounts of exposure to media in general has it consequences, and now even TV as background noise is shown as detrimental to the development in young children of cognitive and reading related tasks. The American Academy of Pediatrics encourages children under the age of two from watching television at all and limiting over the age of two to no more than one to two hours per day.
Now in the Journal of Communication it is being reported that when 50 of childrenâs most popular programs have been analyzed it has been found that 92% of them contain some version of social aggression, bullying. This is the relational kind – including gossiping and manipulation of friendship. It was found that the perpetrators of this kind of aggression were rarely âpunishedâ or called out for their behavior and it was more likely to be presented in a humorous manner than physical bullying.
Is it possible that along with all the other influences that our children have that they are being socialized and taught what is acceptable socially by characters on TV, without parent recognition of what they are taking in?
Now personally, I could not name the top 50 childrenâs shows on TV. But if you have a young child, could you tell me what the shows are and if you recognize social aggression being displayed on them?
