Joe Van Deuren |

November 26, 2012

Life Skills: Citizenship – Giving our time sets example for children

Teaching Children Life Skills — Teaching character and life skills to students

It was once said that people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. Showing that we are caring, responsible and engaged members of our community requires that we are not selfish but rather giving and sharing community members. What can we give? There are so many needs in the community and there are many individuals who are working to meet the needs.

Not all of the needs require that we spend money. In fact some of the most valuable gifts that we can give is to share our talents with others. So we ask ourselves, “What am I good at, that could be shared with others”? It may be teaching or tutoring, fixing things for others, painting or other things around the house. It could be leading a fundraising effort or bringing awareness to others about needs in the community.

The way we show our willingness to give of our time and talents will have an affect on our children as they watch us and take their cues from us. If they see us showing our good citizenship by helping others, they will be able to see themselves doing that also. We can encourage that by guiding them to making cards for others, or sharing their toys or clothes they have grown out of with those in need. Letting them see how they can can be active in the community even at a young age, will create better citizens of the future.

November 19, 2012

Life Skills: Citizenship is showing respect for rules

When we think about the citizens of our community, we are moved by those that are active, caring and productive. We may not see ourselves as being a special or standout as a citizen but I would like to share this with everyone about citizenship.

All of us, no matter our age or status are citizens of many different communities. In the very simplest way we are citizens of our most basic group, the family. It is here that we begin to show that we are caring for others, responsible for our part of being in this small group. This is where we learn how to help others and be accountable for our actions.

One of the ways that we can do that is by recognizing that our group, our team, our family has rules that have been accepted by all in the group. There may be a rule in our family of “No jumping on the bed!”, and so as a 5 year old if I do not jump on the bed, I am showing respect for the rules as well as for the furniture and the safety of others. As we get older we may have a rule that states that if we are leaving the house we ask permission or let others know of our intent. These rules too show respect for others and is for the safety of all involved.

If we are the leaders in the family, parents, then we have extra responsibility to demonstrate our respect for rules. Rules of driving, rules in the house and outside the home taking part in other communities. The reason is clear. Our children are learning from us by our example. Everything we do and say are seen and copied by our children.

No matter where we are, being a good citizen always begins by following the rules of our family, school, sport teams, community. Doing so keeps things safe and fair for everybody.

November 7, 2012

Life Skills: Citizenship – The Definition

Each month we define and discuss a word of character development and life skill with all of our students.

This month the word is Citizenship and will be defined this way.

Young students: Citizenship means, “I help make my community a better place to live.”

Older students: Citizenship means: Being an active, caring & responsible member of our community.

Here are the worksheets for our students:

Citizenship Worksheet for Tiger Tots

Citizenship Worksheet for 5 & 6 year olds

Citizenship Worksheet for 7-12 year olds

Citizenship worksheet for Teens & Adults

If you would like to see how we will talk about Citizenship with our students please follow our discussions here during the month of NOVEMBER or come in and TRY A CLASS.

October 31, 2012

Suicide Prevention Training – Annapolis MD

Suicide is a major, preventable mental health problem. In 2009, 14.4 percent of all deaths of young people between the ages of 15 and 24 occurred with completed suicides. Here is what is important to understand. While it may seem common, it is not a healthy or typical response to stress.

While many of us could recognize some of the risk factors such as depression, substance abuse, prior attempts there are many others that may occur in combination or change over time. Many people may have these risk factors and not be suicidal. So how are we to know when to speak up and how to do so?

There are signs that we can look for and more important there is help available. Balanced Life Skills is dedicated to the health of our children in the community and is offering a FREE seminar that will get rid of the myths that are commonly believed about suicide. The training is offered to everyone in the community, because just as with CPR, the more of us who are trained in knowing the signs and what to do when we see them – the more lives can be saved, not just of our youth but all in our community.

Please join us Saturday November 10 @ 10:30 AM

Training by Marcie Gibbons, Spaulding High School, Psychologist

October 22, 2012

What message about self esteem are we sending our children?

We live in a culture and society that encourages us to compare ourselves to others. The media is constantly telling us that we are not as good as another because we do not look a certain way or because we do not have certain clothing or other status type items. Even people who are leaders in business many times pin their self-esteem on the success of their business accomplishments. Success might give you a temporary feeling of self esteem, but it will soon falter with your next challenge or failure.

Feelings of guilt, not liking our selves, or self talk that is not kind all have the results of worsening your self esteem. Instead when we realize that loving ourselves for who we are, not what we have or do, is a choice that every moment gives us a new opportunity to choose and to practice.

Where are you on the self esteem scale of 1-10? Do you hold yourself in very high self esteem or do you not like yourself very much? How we think is in fact a habit that we have formed, sometimes from very early on in our life. We may have developed our thinking from messages that we received from our parents or others that we have now internalized and we continue to give the messages back to ourselves. But now is the time to change the messages and we can make that choice by choosing the way we talk to ourselves.

If we have children giving them messages about who they are, separate from their outward successes or failures, that are positive, kind and loving will build self esteem. There is nothing that should be an excuse for not loving ourselves or our children. Our focus as parents and teachers is not on a failure but on the good parts of the child and the effort. If they do not get the grade they wanted, the trophy they worked hard for, or the belt (in martial arts) they hoped for, this not a sign of them not being a good person. Do not be so hard on yourself or the child. The message we must give our child and ourselves too is that loving ourselves always starts by loving ourselves even when you do not feel so good about yourself.

October 16, 2012

Life Skills: Giving to Others & Self Esteem

Take a look at the gifts you have, the talents and abilities that you possess and of what you have accomplished already with them. Before you start comparing yourself to others and their accomplishments, smile at the accomplishments you have achieved in the short time you have been here in this body on the earth.

While the media and sometimes other humans are telling us what more we should be striving for, the secret to feeling good about ourselves and having self esteem is to look at what we already have and accomplished. In fact this secret goes one step further as described in the Tao Te Ching by Lao-tzu:

“Heaven is eternal – the earth endures. Why do heaven and earth last forever? They do not live for themselves only. This is the secret of their durability….. Serve the needs of others, and all your own needs will be fulfilled.”

Have you discovered that too; when we are willing to give to others that we do feel good about ourselves? But when our ego pushes us to have and be more and we are constantly striving to be better than, our inner peace and satisfaction with ourselves is diminished? If we are constantly striving, and never feel complete our self esteem suffers. When we let go and appreciate what we have and all we have been given, the concept we have of ourselves is growing.