Joe Van Deuren |

August 13, 2014

Compassion in Action: Humane Education Model

Compassion is not just action taken to help our fellow humans. Teaching compassion might be more easily accomplished by teaching our children about the care of and compassion for, first the animals in their life and then for other animals that may not be a part of their daily life. There are some who say that anyone that is cruel to an animal – cannot be good to fellow humans.

How can we impress on the young people in our lives the importance of taking care of and looking out for every living thing? The three big areas of mission for Balanced Life Skills does this with first:
Awareness: helping our young people to be aware of the needs of living things, how to demonstrate kindness to their own pets and developing relationships/connection with the animals around them. Even going to the zoo and learning about the animals and the problems that might be facing them, will help to make them aware of the need for action.

Compassion: Taking action. With their own pet, they can be responsible for their care, playing, feeding etc.. But action may also be on a larger scale with support for groups who are protecting animals in the wild from poachers.

Respect: By demonstrating respect for our own environment, reducing, re-using, recycling, planting trees, refraining from littering and cleaning up areas that are the homes for wildlife. This kind of example of respect for our youth, sets the tone they can live by.

One of the best models of this kind of education I saw in action in Vieques, PR and then learned more about as I researched the model they were using. It is called Humane Education. If you want to learn more check out the website: Institute for Humane Education http://humaneeducation.org/ To see the application in Vieques, PR check out their website: http://juntosvieques.org/

I have personally supported this program after seeing it in action. They have been able to reduce aggression in schools and the thought is that in the long run this kind of education will also reduce even domestic violence. Truly a worthy ACTION.

August 5, 2014

Compassion is an action word

Awareness + Empathy + ACTION = Compassion It all starts with awareness. Do we see or recognize what others are feeling? If your friend lost their pet dog they are probably going to be sad or upset. We know this by both listening to their story and observing their facial expression or their body language. When we can put ourselves in that ‘persons shoes’ and feel the same feelings in your mind and body – we call that empathy. When we take action and give them a hug or listen to their stories about their dog we are showing COMPASSION.

Compassion is the results of awareness and empathy in those that take action. Without action we are simply listening and even comparing the feelings of ourselves with others. Sometimes though it is difficult to figure out how a person is feeling. Someone may show one emotion on the outside and truthfully feel different on the inside. Or they may be feeling two different emotions at the same time. It is possible to be a “little happy” and “a little sad”.

Imagine your friend is moving to a new school. They may be sad to be leaving their friends at this school – but happy about the adventure of a new community, school and friends. Using our awareness skills of listening, observing and empathy will help us to know what the compassionate ACTION to take that would be the most helpful.

How do you figure out how someone else is feeling?

August 2, 2014

Life Skills: Compassion – The Definition

Each month we will discuss a life skill with all of our students. This month the word is Compassion. This word will be defined in the following ways for our students.

Young students: Compassion means: “When you feel hurt, I want to help you feel better.”

Older students: Compassion means: The emotion we feel when others are suffering that makes us want to help them.

Each age group has a worksheet that parents can use to continue the discussion at home with their children, and one for adults to allow them to think more deeply about the skill and how it applies to them. Would you like to receive the worksheet? Stop by our studio at 133 Gibralter Avenue in Annapolis, MD and tell us the age of your child. We will give you a worksheet and invite you to watch Mr. Joe discuss the word with the students in class. You can also follow our discussions here on this website.

If you would like to become a member of Balanced Life Skills, come TRY CLASSES FOR FREE. We are not your typical martial arts school, in fact we are an education center, working with our students on physical skills along with empowering families with compassion, awareness and respect – creating a culture of peace. We believe in every child and build their self – confidence. Balanced Life Skills takes part in community service and encourages each student to do the same.

Come in and talk to the parents that are here and watch the class for the age group you are interested in. Learn about the Balanced Life Skills Way.

July 29, 2014

3 ways to renew our efforts in reaching our goals

The feeling of frustration can take over when we are making mistakes, not getting the success we would like to see and we may feel like quitting. We may have a picture in our mind of what our results will look like, and it is just not happening. Interestingly enough our deepest moments of frustration come when our expectations and realities are not meeting each other. So how can we maintain persistence in effort?

Self talk – If we use self talk in a positive manner, helping ourselves to calm down and stay focused on the big picture we will be able to continue on our quest. The ideas that we suggest to ourselves will become our reality. If we suggest that this is a way waste of time – it shall become a waste of time. If we have a setback and our self talk suggests that this is catastrophic we will believe that it is. Ask yourself instead, “What is so great about this?”

Coaching – Do you have a mentor or a coach that you can talk to. Many times another person can see the big picture easier than we can, just due to their objectivity. Talking with our group of private supporters may be just what we need to get out of our own self pity.

Have you recharged your battery recently? When we are feeling challenged or frustrated it could be we are tired, hungry or need to exercise. For many of us, going for a walk, getting some exercise in or sitting quietly is what we need to recharge ourselves. Remember that recharging is different for everyone. For some it is being by themselves and for others some quiet time alone for reflection.

Everyone of us have different methods of recharging. For some quiet meditation and being alone with our thoughts can help us to recharge. Others find being around others and bouncing ideas around a method of recharging. Certainly though, surrounding ourselves with others who share our enthusiasm for our personal goal and who have shown themselves to be supportive and persistent in reaching their own goals will help us when we are feeling like giving up or quitting. Being persistent helps us be successful in reaching our goals.

July 22, 2014

5 Keys to being persistent

How do we stay on task and on the path of achieving our goal. Our own commitment to the goal is very important but these 5 resources will help us continue – be persistent – on this path.

Support – also known as cooperation of others. Having others in our circle of influence who know what our goal is and who have similar goals can be a big support to us achieving our goal. They can spark our imagination and encourage us in times when we are lacking motivation.
Passion – also known as desire. The strength of our desire – how bad do we want to achieve this goal is often answered by the question Why. Why do we desire to accomplish this goal. Our answer to this question will be our reminder when we have a failure or are frustrated by disappointment.
Action – also known as initiative. Taking the initiative, the first step gets us headed toward results. The opposite to this is procrastination, but once we start it is easier to stay committed and keep the ball rolling.
Reason – also know as our Why? when our mission, purpose or goal is fixed in our mind and held there, it saturates our entire subconscious until it influences the actions of our physical body toward the achieving of our goal.
Knowledge – also known as skills. We may have a goal, but not the skill or knowledge needed to achieve our goal. As we gain the knowledge, skills and experience, we are able to see the possibilities of achievement.

The success of us staying persistent in achieving our goals is not just about us. When we include others they can support our efforts as we stay focused on what it is we would like to achieve within reason.

What is your goal? Are you gathering around you others to cooperate with you, checking in on your desire and reason for this goal every day, taking the initiative to gain the skills and to practice them on a regular basis. True success in life starts with knowing what we want – but is only gained when we daily are persistent and gain the support of others.

July 15, 2014

4 attacks from inside that keep us from persisting

The difference between persistence and perseverance is generally speaking persistence calls for strength and endurance from those things that attack us from within ourselves while perseverance calls for strength and endurance from attacks that come from outside ourselves. What gets in the way of our persistence? We will name 4 internal things that get in the way of our reaching our goals that happen to everyone – it is how we deal with it that makes the difference.

The number one hindrance to persistence – FEAR. Fear of failing, not being smart enough, success and the responsibilities that would bring, disappointing, embarrassment, change.

The number two hindrance to persistence – OVERWHELM. Too many goals, things to do, requests for our time, projects. Our focus is spread too thin and procrastination sets in.

The number three hindrance to persistence – CHARACTER (our own). Lacking in self control, discipline, ficus, enthusiasm, imagination, initiative, cooperation.

The number four hindrance to persistence – PEER PRESSURE. Others telling us we should relax more, play more, not to work so hard, or that it is not worth the time and effort we are putting into the goal.

Our first step in learning persistent actions is understanding our strongest enemy – what is happening inside ourselves. Awareness of what makes us give up on a goal is the first step in taking action. Look for our description on how each of these can affect our reaching our goals.