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Free perfect gift to give to our children

In the book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John Maxwell writes;

“We should work on changing ourselves before trying to improve others.”

Working to improve ourselves is a full time job.  In fact so much so that my mentor and instructor, Mr. Tom Callos has many times said to me and others, that whatever it is that you need to work on for yourself, you should bring your students along and have them work along with you.

Every time that I research or write about a subject, I find myself looking at myself and finding ways for me to improve in those areas.  Whether we are a parent, instructor or a 7 year old with a younger sibling, all of us have a responsibility to ourselves and to those looking up to us.  That responsibility is not just to tell them what to do, but to demonstrate in our daily lives how to do it.

Yes we are going to fail from time to time, but that is a lesson for them too.  When I fail what shall I do?  Fall down 7 get up 8.   The gift that all of us can give our children, students and others in our sphere of influence, is being a good example.

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Friendship: Understanding our Differences Equals Peace

We have noted previously that we are going to have differences in our relationships.  They will range from likes and dislikes, to skills, food, holiday’s we might celebrate, and culture of families.  While some like to use the word tolerance when dealing with differences, I prefer to think about the possibilities of ‘understanding’ the differences and then being able to  accept, try and celebrate those differences.

If we take a simple example of one person who is talented in a skill, whether it is a sport, craft, writing, math or whatever it might be, how do we react to that?  Rather than resent the skill they have that we may not have, it would be better to celebrate it with them and give them a “good job’.

Being open-minded about differences in food or culture, could we not embrace it and try it for ourselves, rather than reject it because it is not our norm.  Have you ever tried foods from a different culture?  Have you ever embraced a culture and tried things their way?  If we do not understand what they do or why, would it not be better to ask about it and try to ‘understand’ it?

I once thought about writing a book of comparisons of cultures, religions, holidays, food and activities, because the more I read and experienced the similar I found that all of are.  When approached with an open mind you will find that we have more things that are the same than we do differences.  That results not just in friendship but in PEACE.

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4 Steps for Parents and Teachers to Prevent Bullying at Home and School

Schools are not feeling as safe for many students as they once were.  In fact on any given day 160,000 students stay at home due to fear of bullying or other forms of violence here in the United States.  Everyone involved have concern in regard to the safety of children in school, from the children themselves to the parents and educators.  Yet for many educators prevention and intervention is difficult due to a lack of specific training.

Added to this is the issue that many times both teachers and parents have certain beliefs that we will discuss in detail later that tend to cause them to overlook true bullying situations.  When this overlooking occurs it leads the students to believe that the teacher or parent is not concerned or does not care or that they simply are unaware of the situation or problem leading them not to come forward to speak about the issue.

If there is one thing that the research shows Continue reading “4 Steps for Parents and Teachers to Prevent Bullying at Home and School”

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Friendship: How to be loyal

When it comes to our friends we rely on the fact or hope that our friends will be loyal.  When we talk about loyally we really mean that we want to feel safe with that person, knowing that when we confide in them that our confidence will be kept and that when needed they will be there to stick up for us and when things get tough they will be there for us.

But with children we need to teach both sides of loyalty.  Children need to know that keeping a secret is part of loyalty unless the person is planning to do something dangerous or unfair to himself or another person.  So how do we teach that, what are the rules that they can follow to keep everyone safe.

The question we are teaching our students to ask themselves when faced with the dilemma of whether to keep a secret or not is:  Is this going to hurt my friend or someone else? If they can learn to answer that question honestly they will know if they should make the secret known to mom and dad or an adult or if they can keep it secret.  Loyalty to a friend means doing everything in the best interest of your friend.

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Quest: Black Belt Excellence

Friday I did not have many expectations for any workouts as normally I do weight training at 7 AM and had called in canceling that appointment due to the weather the night before.  But much to my surprise I was able to fit that work in at 10:30 in the morning and then another surprise with a student coming in to work out a little later in the day.  So we worked on some core exercises, forms and sparring.  I was very happy with how quickly the lessons were picked up by this student and I got a chance to practice them too.

Today I was forced to think about why students sometimes choose to discontinue their training,  both in a personal experience and in teaching our Excellence in Leadership course.  It is important for all of us to remember that at Balanced Life Skills our 5-8 year olds and beginning solid belts, white – orange, our main focus is on building confidence and giving the students the courage to push themselves outside their normal box, without pushing them away from the experience of gaining Black Belt Excellence.   When we do that we set the foundation to go to even greater places.

There are a few things though that we can do to help maintain our students enthusiasm for their training.  Besides encouraging regular attendance, practice at home, and parents watching and being involved, as instructors the more contact we can have and recognition of the students progress the better they feel about their training.  Sometimes it is hard for them to see the progress they are making without our pointing it out to them.  I am encouraging all the new assistant instructors to remember what it was like to be younger and give each of the students a high five and pat on the back for great effort.

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Bully Prevention: Parent & Teachers role

We are all teachers.  No matter our other roles in life, we are all teachers.  Parents, siblings, teachers, administrators, public officials – all of us are teachers who are watched and on some level emulated.  So everything that we do and say is key to the growth and development of the youth in our society.
There is one thing that is clear about our roles in society.  If we want to reduce the amount of bullying that takes place in society in both young and old we must all be willing to intervene when we see it occurring.  Doing so will reduce and prevent bullying and the impact it has on our youth.  This is true for everyone, but especially teachers and parents.  It is with this belief in mind that I have researched this subject and will begin to report my findings here in this setting.
As in any subject or area that we want to make changes, our own personal awareness and knowledge effects our ability to make changes either in ourselves or in others.  I hope that parents and teachers will use this resource as a way of increasing their own awareness, as we work and report on ways to control and prevent bullying from taking place by attacking the root causes of the problems.  The goal here is to work on solutions and not just to point out the problems and difficulties.  This requires complete buy in that we can make a difference and then the energy to follow through.