Anger Management : Hot buttons getting pushed?

Push-buttonHave you ever said of yourself or of others, “They really are pushing my buttons!”?   When our “buttons” get pushed we many times react or over react, based on the reality of the situation.  In fact we may have asked ourselves, where all that anger is coming from.

Our “buttons” are many times our own weaknesses that we see being displayed in others.  I know this is  true with weaknesses or behaviors we see in our children. If we see them headed down a path that was similar to one that we went down,  we want to protect them from that path – it may come out with a burst of anger, hoping to end the trait we see in them.

Our “button” may come from being criticized or shamed for not being decisive, for being incompetent or some other weakness and when we see this in others or are reminded about the trait in ourselves – this can really push our buttons. Even when you see others in pain, it may remind us of our own pain and we may try to change them with our anger.

All of these hot buttons can be pushed in us, but under all of the pain is fear and /or pain. Until we learn to deal with our own pain and fear compassionately, we may continue to see anger showing up in us. This first step of being aware of these ‘secondary factors’ that intensify anger,  is necessary to learning to manage our anger.

Anger management coaching for children is available at Balanced Life Skills