When we apologize quickly and sincerely we can fix many of the mistakes we make due to the lack of self control. But there is another way that ‘doing the right thing’ comes into play when we talk about self control. That is by thinking for ourselves even when our friends want us to do something that we don’t think is right. All of us are going to find ourselves in a position when someone; schoolmate, friend, workmate, boss, is going to ask us to do something that does not feel right to us and then the question is, “Will we use our thinking ability and self control to not give in to peer pressure and do something that we will regret later?”
The same S.T.E.P. is required for this situation also. First we need to Stop and not say or do the first thing that comes into our head. Then we need to THINK about the possible solutions to the situation. Then we need to EVALUATE all of the possible solutions. (Is it the right thing to do, will it work, is it safe, is it fair?) Then we need to PROCEED.
No matter whether we are an adult or a teen when we proceed in a situation that calls for us to stand up to peer pressure we first must Stand Tall, Look them in the eyes, say NO like we mean it, and why you won’t do it. Being assertive is the key to success in our quest to demonstrate self control. This is not being mean, angry or vindictive. We simply are following our plan to stay in control of our lives – not allowing others to persuade us to do something that we do not believe is the right thing to do.
We teach this to our children by demonstrating on small scale these attributes. When we spill something or break something we fix it. If we hurt someones feelings, we fix it. When we are asked to be a part of a gossipy conversation we take a stand. Our expectations for ourselves and our children will be demonstrated on a daily basis so that they see self control in action. Even in our diet; what we eat and drink, how much we eat and drink, how and when we exercise, our sleeping habits all are a demonstration of our self control. Helping our children to see how we do this and the example of others that we can show them is key to them growing up with this quality.