When we are not confident

Last night in our classes I talked to the students about how we talk to ourselves when we are not feeling confident. So many times when we are not feeling confident is when we are going into a new situation of something we do not know what to expect, trying something new, maybe a test or a challenge at work that seems insurmountable.
The way we talk to ourselves at that time will have an impact on how we react to those situations. If we talk in a negative way, “you can’t do this”, “this is not going to work out”, “you know they are going to reject you”, we are setting ourselves up for failure. We get what we see is going to happen so often.
I called this the “grumpy voice” that is inside our head. Do you have one of them? Most of us do! If we had an acquaintance who had doubts about a situation, we would never talk to them like that though, would we? So why would we talk to ourselves like that? Lets find a better way of talking to ourselves and get rid of that “grumpy voice”.
I do not believe in just positive messages to ourselves. If we say “there are no weeds”, “there are no weeds”, “there are no weeds”, and there are weeds, it really is of no help. The real questions are different than that. Next time the real questions. For now though think about the messages you say to yourself. Would you say them to a friend, and if not, then don’t say them to yourself.

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