We have talked about all the rules and those that make them for us the last time with a special emphasis on the rules that we make up for ourselves. When we make rules for ourselves like, ‘I am going to listen intently to others when they speak to me’, or I am going to work diligently to learn this new skill, it is far more likely that we will demonstrate discipline and fulfill this promise to ourselves.
Really though it is about making choices. Every choice that we make has an outcome and a ‘consequence’ that goes with it. This is a very simple principle that is key for our children to learn. It is important for them to correlate choices with consequences – good and bad.
The formula is very simple E + R = O. Event plus your Response (choice) will have an Outcome. When we decide as adults or children that we will be 100% responsible for our choices and there outcomes (consequences) then we will be well on our way to creating the life that we want for ourselves.
How do we teach this to our children? We can do this by creating opportunities for some choices and then allowing them to have some failures and reap the consequences that go with them. We only make progress in any endeavor when we have a failure and then work through it and get better / stronger on the other side.
Never having a failure or not being allowed to have a disappointment from time to time does not build character. It only builds an attitude of entitlement that will soon learn that in the real world not everything is going to go our way.