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Courage: making good choices

When we are faced with choices how can we be sure that we are going to make good choices, using our courage to do so.  All of us have faced choices where we became really nervous and I would dare say that all of us have made bad choices from time to time due to peer pressure or fears of some kind.  For us to make good choices though there are some simple things that we can do in that moment.

 

 

  1. Slow down.  Do not make a decision so fast that we don’t have time to clear our head and feel confident in our decision .
  2. Take some deep breaths.  Even in the most stressful situations we need to take this time to breath deeply.  This allows oxygen to get to our brain and for us to think more clearly.
  3. Talk to a trusted friend.  Who is it that you can trust to give you not just good advice but encouragement to do the correct thing based on your values.
  4. Use visioning or imaging.  Imagine in your mind the results and consequences if you choose to do one thing or the other.  See the results and check in to see how you feel about those results. If you are dealing with a fear instead of seeing yourself failing, imagine yourself completing your task successfully and imagine how you will feel when it is complete.  Using imagining can calm you down when you use it on a consistent basis.

Finally our courage can also be used to NOT do something that we know is not safe or fair.  When our conscious or ‘gut’ tells us to stop, if we are worried what our parents, mates or friends would think if they knew we were making choice to do something, it may be time to reexamine and be sure that it meets the values and ethics that are a deep part of ourselves.

Use the same steps from above to make the examination and be sure that we are making courageous decisions based on our internal influences and not the immediate external influences.  Maya Angelou voiced it well when she said; “One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.”

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Sticks and Stones do what?

Getting in touch with our emotions and feeling the pain or suffering of others is a very sure way of becoming more compassionate as a parent, friend and a leader.  This week at our school we will be discussing the impact of our words and actions on others.  We have all heard the adage “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.”  But as we grow up we learn that this is not very true.
Our words are powerful, and when we use kind and uplifting words we can make others feel great and work hard at becoming their best and if we use words that tear down they can cause anyone to turn inside and for protection and one day demonstrate very angry actions.
As some of you may know my father passed away when I was a very young teenager and had been bedridden sick for much of my life.  Unfortunately one of the only experiences that I remember with him is a time when he was trying to play with me and I did not perform the way he thought I should, he called me “stupid”.  Words are so powerful that here I am nearly 50 years later and that is my memory.
So what kind of words can you use when dealing with our kids, mates, and work companions.  What are some words that someone has said to you that has made you feel better?