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Free perfect gift to give to our children

In the book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John Maxwell writes;

“We should work on changing ourselves before trying to improve others.”

Working to improve ourselves is a full time job.  In fact so much so that my mentor and instructor, Mr. Tom Callos has many times said to me and others, that whatever it is that you need to work on for yourself, you should bring your students along and have them work along with you.

Every time that I research or write about a subject, I find myself looking at myself and finding ways for me to improve in those areas.  Whether we are a parent, instructor or a 7 year old with a younger sibling, all of us have a responsibility to ourselves and to those looking up to us.  That responsibility is not just to tell them what to do, but to demonstrate in our daily lives how to do it.

Yes we are going to fail from time to time, but that is a lesson for them too.  When I fail what shall I do?  Fall down 7 get up 8.   The gift that all of us can give our children, students and others in our sphere of influence, is being a good example.

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Courage: Letter to Parents

Dear Parents,

Courage is one of the qualities that we want to see in our children.  Being willing to try new things and to know how to cope with our fears is very different that not being scared.  All of us feel scared and nervous from time to time.  But when those fears are based on our imagination or worry about what might happen, that is quite different than when there are real dangers. 

In our school we see it quite often that when a child comes in to try a new class – even if they want to be there the fear of the group or new situation overcomes them.  We are able to help them overcome that and act in a safe and courageous way.  This month we will be talking to our students about courage the following ways.  If you would like your child to have more courage why not try Balanced Life Skills Martial Arts.  We build courage in children and adults.

The definitions we will use for courage this month are:

Young students: “I feel brave!
Older students, teens and adults: Courage is the willingness to face fears and challenges with determination.

During the four weeks of September we will be discussing the following:

Week 1: Courage defined. What does courage mean?  What are people scared of?
Week 2: Taking healthy risks: How can I use courage to try new things and meet new people?
Week 3: Courage and Values:  How can I use courage to stand up for what I think is right and fair?
Week 4: Keeping control:  How can I calm myself down and make good decisions?

If you would like more information please feel free to call us and watch for discussions on this website. Take time this month to think about the times you have shown courage even when times were scary.  Share these experiences with your children in an age appropriate manner and they will see how strength of character has served you.

Thanks to all families in our community who continue to support the practice of Life, Art and Peace.

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Grants 4 Teachers

Mr. Joe has collaborated with the Community Foundation of Anne Arundel County to support all of our teachers in the county.  What does this have to do with martial arts?  The best self defense we can have is Education.  Our teachers are one of the most valuable resources we have in the line of educating our children.  All of us have had a special teacher in our life who made a difference for us.  Yet so many, in fact all of them, take money out of their own pockets to provide a better experience for our students.  They are dedicated souls that need to be shown that we appreciate them.

This fund will provide the essentials and sometimes the small extra things they need to be the best they can be.  In addition we hope to have a small part in raising the morale of teachers by showing them on a year round basis that we know that they are working hard for the future of our students.

You can help by giving a small donation to show your support.

Visit our Grants 4 Teachers website to learn how!

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How to gain confidence from failure

We must try to remember that failure and the suffering that follows can be a wonderful gift to our children. We have to believe and have faith that they can handle it without falling apart. The bottom line is that we need to have confidence in our children and their capabilities of greatness maybe even in areas that surprise us.
Children are born with self-confidence. They will maintain this confidence as long as we as parents and teachers do not bring up their failures and mistakes. We would never have thought to have said to our one year old, “You failed at walking again!” It is not fair to the child to not allow them the room to have internal dialogue and to explore what really happened and how they can do better next time.
What does this have to do with martial arts? In our martial arts training not everything is going to come easy. We are not going to be perfect the first time we try something. In fact we may fail many times before we get it right. So many times when we are teaching jumping rope, a child will struggle for a very long time and then all of a sudden it comes together for them. I love it when I ask them, “How did you do it?” and they just blurt out “I Practiced”. Practice has a way of building confidence. Not just the repetition over and over, but rather the careful study in practice of what is working and what is not and then making the adjustments.
If we allow our children the opportunity to practice this way the lessons they will learn will be life long ones.

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Teaching Leadership

What do parents want for their children?  When we talk to them this is what we hear.
Parents want to see them learn to be focused, responsible, disciplined, gain confidence, and social skills.   They would also like them to be learning responsibility, tolerance, problem solving, and creative thinking.  While we have been working on those skills here at Balanced Life Skills I believe that over the next year you will see us finding new innovative ways to develop these skills in our students.
We will do this by integrating and imbedding these skills in our culture.  Integrating teaching these skills while we teach the physical skills of the martial arts is one of our goals this year.  As parents and teachers one of the best ways we can help is by modeling the skills we want our children to have.
We can focus on this together as we develop our students into Ultimate Students and citizens of our community.

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Our responsibility

From the time I first started training in the martial arts and could see the impact it could have on a persons life, I realized that I had a responsibility to be my best and then to share this ‘art’ with others.  The responsibility was not just to teach the physical side of the martial arts, but really to show the benefits of practicing everything you need on the floor training, everywhere else you go in the world.
What is that responsibility?  The responsibility is to be a role model to both parents and children.  One teacher recently called me a life coach for the kids.  That is a lot of responsibility.  But really is that not what all adults are or can be?  Are we not life coaches to our own kids first and then do we not have a responsibility to the next generation as a whole?
I believe that we should inspire them to do their best, to cheer them on, to find the good in them, to do what is best for them – even if it is not popular with them at first.  Oh the first and best way to do that is to practice it ourselves.  Give our best, Cheer ourselves on and find the good in ourselves and celebrate it, Correct what we need to correct in ourselves and do what is the right and best thing for ourselves even if it is not convenient or popular with ourselves.  Our kids will learn from us by the example better than what we say with our words.