When we are growing into adulthood, finding our way, one of the most important things that we have is our friends. All of us have those special people in our lives that we love to talk to and hang out with. There is a saying that goes with that that says; “You are who you hang out with.” Choosing our friends has a great affect on our ability to maintaining our integrity to our morals, values and ethics as well as reaching our goals.
Surrounding ourselves with those that will “expect more from us that we do ourselves”, they will always be an inspiration for being our best and in fact even ‘master’ our life. Who are the people that can do that for us and with us? It is going to include those around us that love us and have our best interest at heart, like our parents, friends and other trusted adults who may be an inspiration to you. Those other adults like teachers, coaches, religious mentor, musicians can help us look at things from different viewpoints and keep us on a good track.
But how can we be sure our friends have our best interest at heart?
If at anytime your ‘friends’ ask you to change yourself like your clothes, language, values or morals, or to do other things to fit in with them you may need a new group of friends.
If at anytime your ‘friends’ ask you to do drugs with them, steal, fight, treat others mean, you may need to find a new group of friends.
If at any time you feel like you are being used, manipulated or changed from who you are, you may need to find a new group of friends.
If you feel like your life is out of control, boxed in, not allowed to have other friends or you are not reaching the goals that you have written down, you may need a new group of friends.
Surround yourself with a support system that you can rely on and that shares your morals, values and ethics and you will be much more likely to keep your integrity to yourself.
I know of no parent that has not said to one of their children, “ Don’t give me an attitude!”. We all know that we are talking about a bad attitude – one that is negative and disrespectful. Yet most of us if we were truthful with ourselves would have to admit that from time to time we too have that “bad attitude”. Interestingly in a recent article in the journal; Expert Review of Neurotherapeutics (April, 2009) that it is true that there are some people who are just more positive than others, but that only 50% of happiness is determined genetically. Where do you think the rest of ability to be positive and happy came from? Yes it was ourselves.
There are three things that only we have control over that have an affect on our attitude, whether we are 5 years old or 85. They are how we feel, think and act. I am sure you have seen this before. If someone is thinking and feeling things in an optimistic way, they also act in a positive way. If they think and feel more pessimistically, then they act in a negative way no matter how hard they try to cover it up and “act” positive.
The way we see the world, how we feel it is treating us, the way we think and act influences in a great way our Attitude. It affects our relations with others including our closest friends, to how we respond to events in our lives and even the very mundane day to day life.
So what is attitude and can we choose the attitude we want to have? What influence do we have on our children when it comes to their attitude? Can we help them to approach their day in a more positive way? As parents we influence how our children see the world, so what are strategies do you use to have a positive attitude?
Back a few months ago, my son Sean watched a Tiger Tot class and interviewed me for a paper he had been assigned in one of his classes. The results were a short story “The Word You Say Inside Your Head”. He received a 99.5 grade on the paper.
I sent the paper to my instructor and he told me that we must publish it. So here is the first step in that process. I will be having it printed and may take it to an e-book format some time soon. For the time though I thought you may enjoy it.
Please feel free to send it to your friends and let them know about our program and how the martial arts has been of benefit to you and your child.