Each month we define and discuss a word of character development and life skill with all of our students.
This month the word is Perseverance and will be defined this way.
Young students: Perseverance means: When things get tough I don’t give up!
Older students: Perseverance means: Never quitting; sticking with your goals until they are achieved.
She comes regular to class and has mastered the front kick and some blocking. In addition she has learned the meaning to many words like integrity, respect, teamwork and more. She is ready for Kindergarten and the 5/6 class at Balanced Life Skills.
If we are going to stand up to our friends, that is resist peer pressure to do things that are against our own morals, values and ethics, we must be prepared. This type of preparation is no different than being prepared for a physical attack on ourselves. As a martial arts student and practitioner we know what we would do if someone were to try to push us, or if someone called us a name, we know how we would react – because we have practiced those things.
The same is true with peer pressure. We must prepare to defend who we are and what we stand for, so if we are asked to do something we are not comfortable with, we will have the strength to say NO.
So what would you do if you were put in a high pressure situation? Preparing ahead, knowing what we would say and practicing that answer is part of the key to having the courage to actually do it when that time comes – and it will come. What type of questions should you be prepared for?
What would you do if you were pressured to cheat or lie for one of your friends?
What would you do if you were being pressured to smoke, drink, or take drugs?
What would you do if your friends were bullying someone in your class or school?
What would you do if someone asked you to text you a picture of yourself?
Knowing the answer ahead of time, practicing it in your head, discussing it with your parents are all ways of being prepared to keep your integrity to yourself.
Being true ourselves is part of having integrity. When we think about integrity we also think about honesty. In fact if a person is honest they are spoken of as having integrity. We can count on them to be true to their word and we have a trust factor that is very high.
Just as important as honesty with others is, so is honesty with ourselves. Are we honest about who we are, what we like, how we act both with others and with ourselves? Are we honest to our values, morals and ethics? Especially in the tween and teen years we are very worried about fitting in and having friends. In times like that we may be afraid that others may not like us or laugh at us if we do not like, act, dress, talk the same way that they do. Yet being ourselves is part of feeling good about yourself. Lets look at an example.
Lets say you are in school and your group of ‘friends’ start talking about someone else not in the group. They may be a new person at the school. They decide that it would be ‘funny’ to play a prank on them or to say something mean to them, and you are chosen in some manner to be the one that plays the prank. Now you may not feel comfortable to do that, in fact it goes against everything you are as a person, but you are feeling the pressure of the group. What will you do?
Here is a what Professor Dumbledore told Harry Potter:
“It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends.”
Being willing to stand up for what you believe in and who you are, takes courage and is what integrity to yourself is all about.
What is stress? It is this feeling that you have when there are all kinds of challenges and things happening to you at the same time. It may come from different things that you are up against and if will affect both your mind and your body.
The things that stress teens out the most are school work, parents, friends’ problems, romantic relationships. On top of that, for teens, drugs in the neighborhood was a high stressor and for younger kids they name siblings as a stressor.
It is interesting how girls and boys try to cope with stress. Boys more often use avoidance and distraction while girls tend to look for support and will try to actively reduce their stress. Girls are more likely to find their stress coming from relationships and boys from authority figures.
Both sets of individuals use avoidance to some degree while more and more are seeing their stressed displayed with anger and aggression. Finding healthy ways of dealing with stress is very important to the health, both physical and mental for our young adults. While a certain amount of short term stress can be good, the long term – day in and day out feelings of stress, worry and anxiety are not healthy in any way.
What are your top 5 stressors?
At Balanced Life Skills testing for June 2011 at Quiet Waters Park, Brooks showed me his pushups. They rival any push ups done by a Marine. Oh yes his dad was in the Marines. Great job Brooks!!
