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Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), Karate, Taekwondo, or Jiu-jitsu, which is Best?

Guest Post By Tom Callos for Balanced Life Skills.  Mr. Callos is Mr. Joe Van Deuren’s mentor, coach and instructor.

This is an article full of shopping advice. If you’re shopping for a martial arts school, for training, then you’ve come to the right place.

I’ve been studying the martial arts for 40 years, I’m a 6th degree black belt in taekwondo, a 17 year practitioner of Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, and my students have include national taekwondo champions, karate point-fighters, and mixed martial arts legends. So, when it comes to martial arts training, in every –and any –realm, I know (exactly) what I’m talking about.

Here are three piece of advice for you, regardless of the kind of martial arts you might be interested in: Continue reading “Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), Karate, Taekwondo, or Jiu-jitsu, which is Best?”

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Empowering children to reach their potential

Have you ever seen the parent that brags about their child and pushes them so hard to be the best at their school or group that you sometimes wonder if the parent is living out their fantasy through the child?   Many times the child does what is expected of them but deep down inside is not really interested in this pursuit at the same level that the parent is pushing so hard for.

Being a great leader or parent is not about making yourself look good.  It is about empowering your children to make good choices and to choose and follow their own dreams and goals.  Yes we want our children to do well and yes we are very proud of them when they do have accomplishments.  But those accomplishments are not ours as a parent –  but rather should be the result of our willingness to believe in them and give them the opportunities to grow.

As a parent we should be setting the example in continued growth, goal setting and improving ourselves in our own interests.  We should be willing to make the sacrifices required for our children to be their best at whatever their goals are, helping them to recognize the results and consequences that their choices mean.  In business your willingness to empower others because you believe in them will make you larger.  In your family empowering your teammates will bring you a great amount of joy and happiness as each member becomes their best in what they want to pursue.

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Valuing each member of your family

I personally believe your most important team you will ever be on is your family.  I talk about this with our students from day one of their training in the martial arts.  As in the world of sports or business, the teammate that values others and does things that makes others on the team better is extremely valuable to team.  So how does this apply to the family?

1.  Great leaders / parents  believe in their teammates.  That means each spouse trusts and believes in the other and that both of them set expectations for their children, not based on what they have seen in the past, or on what others might think, but rather on the values, ethics and morals of their own family.   Children will only perform to the expectation of the ones that they respect.

2.  Great leaders / parents  are willing to listen to and support what their spouse and children are interested in.  This support demonstrates to others that their interest are valuable, and when someone see their value to others they are more willing to stay connected to them.   The ability and willingness to listen even to our children, sets a great example for them.

3.  Great leaders / parents, once they find the uniqueness and gifts of their spouses and children, are then willing to look for ways to help them increase those abilities.  This is a way of adding value to your teammate and in the long run will improve not only their abilities, but also their attitude.

4.  Great leaders / parents work to improve themselves, as this benefits everyone on the team and it helps you help others even more.  If you want your family members, business partners, teammate of any kind to improve, making yourself better is one of the first steps.  On so many levels others will see you and your actions as a way of stepping up themselves as you set the example.

So how does your family view you?  Do each of them see you as one that values them and their interests?  Do they see you as a supporter and helper?  Do you know what each member of your family interests really are and can you find a way to help them improve in that interest?  Doing so will empower others to be successful and you to be seen as a great leader.

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Vision: One month into goals – where are you?

During the month of January we have been talking to our students about setting goals and how to achieve them.  This is a process that many of us parents have gone through for many years.  Unfortunately for many, here in the third and fourth week of January we have already gotten off track from the goal that we pictured in our mind early in the month.  So why did that happen?

Goal setting and vision need to go hand in hand.  Setting a goal without really being able to see it and imagine what the goal would look like and feel like as if it already has happened, most times results in our goal only being a dream that quickly fades as the day to day happenings start to take place.

If we want our children to be able to set a goal, plan for it, examine how it is working and adjust as required to stay on track for achieving their goal, we must model that for them.  As a parent we can do that by  talking about our goals with the family.  Talk about what the family goals are, when and how you work on them, even about the roadblocks that you are working through.

The more you show the importance of goals personally and for the family, the more likely it is that our children will set their own goals and envision them too.  Here is a slogan I heard that is great for encouraging us to stick to our goals, “Each day should start fast, finish strong”.

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Developing Solid Relationships With Our Children

As a leader in a business you know the importance of relationships.  If you are on a school advisory board or work on a committee in any social situation, it is relationships that can make the difference in successful projects.  If you know someone from other parts of their lives, you will know better what makes them tick, what their strengths and weaknesses are.  All of this comes from spending time with them outside the committee, employment or social environment you are presently working in.

Much the same with your family and children.  If you can spend some time with your children outside of the time of taking them to and from school and their activities, you will learn a lot more about them.  You may even help prevent some of the most commons ails of children today.  It was said to me one time by a psychologist,  that if a parent would spend just one hour per week with each of their child alone, doing something that they enjoyed doing, outside of the normal things that you do, that we would rid ourselves of a very large percentage of the ADHD cases that we have in America today.

Developing relationships with your children in this manner, will allow you to lead them in other areas of their lives more effectively.  It will help both of you to grow in your relationship along with social and emotional growth.  The confidence your child will gain with the feeling of really belonging to a well lead family unit will go a long way in keeping them safe from many of the obstacles and road bumps children meet today.

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Project Leadership: Influencing others to follow

There are so many promises made by individuals and groups saying that they will make your son or daughter a leader.  In fact one school in Pennsylvania claims to be the best school in the country for creating leaders out of any female student that comes to their school.   While leadership skills can be learned about from a classroom – true leadership comes from doing and can only be measured by the amount of influence you may have earned.

Your circle of influence will grow over time, but only if you are able to demonstrate certain things in your own life.  First you must have good character that is recognized by others.  Second you must build relationships with others.  Third you must know your subject that you are trying to have an effect on.  Fourth, having good intuition for the next right thing to do.  Fifth a certain amount of experience.  Sixth, what have you done in the past.  Seventh, what are your abilities?

Now anyone can start their role as leaders, but should start with small projects and then use the knowledge, experience, intuition and success they have to go on to larger projects.  That is the reason we encourage our young students to do small projects like doing acts of kindness and then getting others to join with them in doing acts of kindness.  Some of our students have on their own and then with others played musical instruments at senior homes, or set up hot chocolate stands and used the money for the Lighthouse Shelter.

These are the beginning steps to larger projects in the future where they will be able to use their good character, relationships and experience to influence others to join them in accomplishing good for their community.