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Life Skills: Teaching Respect – What If We Treated The Earth The Way We Treat Our Friends?

What would the world look like if nobody showed respect for each other in the community?  Respect is “being treated in a way that demonstrates empathy for how we might feel in the same situation”.  I recently heard a quote that paraphrased said, it was easier to condemn another than it is to understand them.  Empathy and respect are so interrelated in our day to day life and also in the way we treat the environment.  Are we trying to understand our place here on this planet in relation to fellow humans and our home the Earth?

In our community we demonstrate empathy with a smile to those around us. Don’t all of us appreciate a kind word and a smile from another?  We clean up our trash or mess so that others can enjoy the area at a park.  Do we not appreciate an area we are about to use being clean and neat?   We speak kindly to those that are serving our needs at a restaurant, doctors office, grocery store.  Would we not appreciate the patience of others while we are serving their needs?  What would it look like if no one smiled at each other, if they left a mess for others to deal with, if they were noisy at the library or while we were working, if they bumped into us as we walked down the street and then gruffly dismissed us?   Our world would certainly not be a pleasant place to be.

Now the question is, What will our earth look like if we do not reduce what we are taking from it, reduce the amount of “messes” we leave for it?  What will our environment be like if we do not show respect for our home Earth?  Will there be beautiful and usable beaches and forests, mountains and animals for our children in the future? Continue reading “Life Skills: Teaching Respect – What If We Treated The Earth The Way We Treat Our Friends?”

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Life Skills: Teaching Children Respect – By Role Modeling Our Expectations, Not Creating More Rules

Showing respect for others is more than just knowing the “nice” words to say at the right time.  It is also about recognizing the right thing to do at the right time.  One of the teachings we have in our classes is “You do the right thing because it is the right thing to do.”  Now while we teach that so that the students learn that doing the right thing is not just about ‘not getting in trouble’, it is also about showing respect to others.

Following the rules of the society you are in, is about respect.  Unfortunately our litigious society has so many rules and laws in place – when in reality we can establish some good guidelines in our schools (or classroom), homes and communities that would really be better for teaching respect.  What we are really looking to teach is that everyone has the right to be safe and have fairness applied to them.

How do we teach that to children? Continue reading “Life Skills: Teaching Children Respect – By Role Modeling Our Expectations, Not Creating More Rules”

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Bully Prevention: What Is a Parent To Do When a Child Does Not Stand Up For Themselves?

When your child comes home from school everyday with a story about being picked on by someone on the bus, in the classroom, on the playground it is very upsetting.  Many times we see parents who have raised these very mild mannered, sweet children who have no desire or what seems to no ability to mean to others and would rather just let these things go.  As a parent though we know that they must learn to stand up for themselves.

What do we mean by “stand up for themselves”?  When a child is “teased, chided, or picked on”, there is a little piece of them inside that is damaged, even if it is not readily visible.  This damage may very well stick with them for a very long time – well into adulthood.  For them it is important to learn to speak up and let the other person know that what they are saying or doing is not acceptable to the target.   As a parent we know that and we may even tell our child “Stand up for yourself.”

In fact as parents, we may become frustrated with our child for being unwilling to do just that.  We may tell our child do what you need to do to stand up to them, I will not be upset with you no matter what.  In effect we are saying if you need to hit them I am giving you permission to do so – because we want to see them make a stand.

Please consider the following though in regard to our mild mannered, sweet child.  If they are coming home to you and are willing to speak to you about what is going on at school and tell you how they feel about it – you are a very fortunate parent.  The problem is that if the child begins to feel your frustration with his/her unwillingness or inability to stand up for themselves, they may become unwilling to share these experiences with you, not wanting to disappoint you in any way.

What is a parent to do? Continue reading “Bully Prevention: What Is a Parent To Do When a Child Does Not Stand Up For Themselves?”

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Life Skills: Respect – How We Speak and Act To Others When They Are There and Not There

As parents we have all worked with our children on having good manners.  By good manners we begin with teaching them the “magic” words; please, thank you, sorry, your welcome, excuse me.  In the end though is it about the words or is something else?  What do good manners have to do with respect?

Teaching our children good manners should also include helping them to understand the concept of respect.  When we say “thank you’, we are recognizing someone has done something special or unexpected for us and we appreciate the thoughtfulness of the other person.  When we say “sorry”, well actually I teach our kids not to just say sorry, but rather to say, “I am sorry”.  Teaching them to take personal responsibility and to express it in more than one word is the beginning step in understanding that it may be necessary to say a little more.  They may need to express to the other person what they are sorry for doing and finding a way to “fix it”.

Showing respect by HOW we say our words is important also.  Using a kind voice, with sincerity is an effective way of demonstrating respect.  We can model this for our children in our own interactions with others and in our conversation with those close to us.  Very quickly our youngsters learn if we have respect for others or if we are just faking it.  As one person said, “You can tell a lot about the character of an individual by the way they treat those of least importance to them.”  Children soon learn if you as a parent respect everyone or only those that can do something for you at that moment.  They really pick up on hypocrisy very quickly.

So showing respect is not only WHAT we say, HOW we say it – but also what we say when the other person is not there.  Our children are there and listening to the parents true feelings.

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Bully Project: A Film Worth Supporting

Following five kids and families over the course of a school year, the film confronts bullying’s most tragic outcomes, including the stories of two families who’ve lost children to suicide and a mother who waits to learn the fate of her 14 –year-old daughter, incarcerated after bringing a gun on her school bus. With rare access to the Sioux City Community School District, the film also gives an intimate glimpse into school busses, classrooms, cafeterias and even principles offices, offering insight into the often-cruel world of children, as teachers, administrators and parents struggle to find answers.

Balanced Life Skills is committed to helping our community face the issues of bullying by teaching and promoting peace and non-violence. Our Verbal Self Defense being taught in our classes helps bring confidence to our students.

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Life Skills: How Children Lose Confidence and Creativity

Confidence is a feeling that we have that is rooted in working hard, having goals and overcoming challenges.  Confidence gives us the positive energy that we need to be willing to take risks and to move forward with our pursuit of goals, even when we know it might be difficult.  When we are feeling confident we are willing to accept challenges that others may not, and we are likely to succeed.

Amazingly though there always seems to be one or more persons around who will challenge us and say or do things that is intended to make us feel less than confident.  They may question our goals, ideas or dreams as not being real.  It is funny how when we are very young we think we can do anything.  One of our sons dreamed to play soccer on the moon and to be a paleontologist.  Yet in just a few short years, in fact by the time a child is 10 or so, they have lost that confidence and creativity. (Take a look at this TED Talk)   Others have told them to “be real”, “that is not possible”, or other things that lead them to feel that they need to get in line with “reality”.  What a shame for our young people.

Others just for the sake of making themselves feel “better than”, make others feel “stupid”, “less than”, and may boast or brag in a way that someone might feel that they cannot live up to that persons abilities or life.  While it is hard to get when it is happening, when one person is bragging or “putting others down’, they really are not building themselves up in anyone’s mind but their own.  When we need to tell everyone how great we are, it shows a lack of confidence in ourselves.  Unfortunately both adults and youngsters share in this activity, and bring down some very creative confident young people in the process. Continue reading “Life Skills: How Children Lose Confidence and Creativity”