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Are Pre-School Children Being Bullied?

The simple answer is YES!  Having said that though, some of the teasing that takes place with pre-school children is not bullying in the classic sense and definition.  It may be young ones just trying on their social skills and not yet having them honed yet.  The definition of bullying is the intentional use of power over another person to manipulate or hurt the target physically or emotionally over a period of time.  Therefore it is something that is taking place on more than one ocassion.

pre-school bullies hurt parents and children

Increasingly though we are seeing and hearing reports of pre-school children repeatedly picking on, teasing and physically hurting other children in their class or on the playground.  In an effort to understand what is happening to our children and then to offer suggestions to resolve these issues with parents and teachers I am interested in hearing the stories from you about what has happened to your child or to someone you have seen.  What have you done to resolve the issues?  How have teachers and administrators reacted when you have discussed the questions about bullying?  For the teachers, how do you deal with this conduct when you see it in your classes or playground?

What is your story?  Were you bullied as a small child?  Is your son or daughter being teased on a regular basis or being bullied in another way? Tell your story here as we work on changing the culture in our communities.

Continue to check back as we work on this subject of helping our children build the character and courage to be their best.

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What’s Really Causing the Childhood Obesity Epidemic?

bully prevention starts with knowledge of bullying behavior
Physical Health

A study by Yale University has just come out and it claims that people and especially children can become addicted to fast food and “comfort foods”. Of course this would lead possibly to a reason for the obesity epidemic that is sweeping the nation. If this is in fact the case, that would call for us to re-think how we are approaching the obesity issue. Should we be looking at it as an addiction issue or continue with the techniques we are using presently.

If though it is an addiction issue is it strictly a physical issue or do we need to be looking at the emotional issues that many times contributes to taking part in addictive activities. Could it be that the stress that so many of our children feel is a contributing factor, or is it due to low grade depression? I of course do not know the answer to those questions. I do know however that stress is a bigger part of the lives of our children than most of us parents are able to comprehend. Much of the reason for that is that we have a tendency to compare the child’s causes of stress to our own and – well there seems to be no comparison. But in fact our children do have high levels of stress in their lives, socially, academically and many worry over pleasing their parents.

What can children do about this? As parents we have a responsibility to help them have tools to combat stress, which means we must have tools to do the same. Where do we start? I would suggest starting with some quiet time to take some deep breaths and calm ourselves. Follow that with some physical movement to relax all of our body parts, and then ask ourselves “What is the most important thing I can do right now that will have the biggest impact on my life, job, family? Then take care of that one thing.

For more information on childhood obesity look at this presentation on What’s really causing the childhood obesity epidemic? – What Kids Say by Dr. Pretlow.

To learn how martial arts and Balanced Life Skills can help you relieve stress come in to our studio and try out some classes.

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Life Skills: Respect – How To Respect Teachers

We all have people we respect.  When we ask students about who they respect, they come up with names of famous athletes and other famous individuals for all kinds of reasons.  Many of them will say their teachers or one special teacher.  They appreciate their teacher for a number of reasons including, “they are nice”, “they help me”,   “they let us have…”.   But showing respect for the teacher can be more difficult for them to understand.

Talking to our children about how to respect teachers is important for parents to do, and not just from the point of view of “not getting in trouble”.  Showing respect for them can be done by listening in class, not calling out, by waiting to be called on to answer, following the rules of the classroom, completing assignments, asking for help.

All teachers appreciate students who have good manners in school and who work well with them, but they especially appreciate when a student takes the time to say thank you.  For some of us we wait till we are older and then go back and say thank you, but everyday is an opportunity for our children to learn the value of a sincere thank you for what our teachers do for our children everyday.  I encourage all parents and children to take the time to think about and then thank a teacher for the value they add to our lives.  They make a big difference in our lives and saying thank you is important for them and us.

Each year Balanced Life Skills recognizes the teachers in our community by inviting them to visit our school and their students.  Continue reading “Life Skills: Respect – How To Respect Teachers”

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Advice for Parents: If you suspect your child is being harassed digitally

bully prevention starts with knowledge of bullying behaviorIf you don’t think your child is being harassed take a note of this:
50% of people ages 14-24 have experienced digitally abusive behavior. *
61% of those who have sent a naked photo or video of themselves have been pressured by someone to do so at least once.*
*2009 poll conducted by MTV
Digital harassment is when technology and electronic communication devices are used to “stay in touch” – but the relationship has become manipulative and controlling.  If someone is feeling badgered or threatened this is a form of cyber-bullying and many times takes place between two people in a romantic relationship.  Many times  there are demands for passwords, inappropriate photos, requests for one of the parties not to be a friend to another on a social website or it may become a time when lies / rumors are spread or someone is being impersonated.

In the 2009 poll conducted by MTV it was found that those being targeted by this sort of harassment may not want to come to school anymore, may engage in risky behavior or even have ideation of suicide.  For parents this is a time for you to stay close to your teen and support them, with discussions about online safety and reminding them that you are there for them.  You may also want to encourage your child to be willing to talk to other trusted adults such as a teacher or counselor at school.  Help them to to set boundaries that they are comfortable with.  Most of the time when photos are sent, passwords shared or other inappropriate acts take place on line it happens after there has been pressure put on the student by one or more other students.

Here are a couple of resources that may be of help to you and your family. Continue reading “Advice for Parents: If you suspect your child is being harassed digitally”

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6 Dangerous Trends: Bullying: What is Bullying?

Bullying Prevention Begins with Knowledge About Bullying

bully prevention starts with knowledge of bullying behaviorBullying is a relationship issue where power and aggression are used to affect another person.  The bullying behavior is done intentionally and is repeated over time.  This behavior is not a one time event that can be seen as a usual type of conflict between individuals.  The person who is the aggressor develops power over the person who is the target, and as time goes on if left unchecked, the target loses power while the aggressor gains power.  The target of this behavior can become increasingly powerless to stand up for themselves.

Bullying others may give some a sense of power over their target and a feeling of importance that they may be having a difficult or perceived difficult time obtaining with more positive social behaviors.

Bullying is not a problem that only children have to deal with.  Nor is it one that is limited to boys being the perpetrator.  While bullying behavior seems to peak in middle school, it begins as early as second grade.  Teachers and parents may even be able to see signs of bullying tendency in children as young as preschool aged children.  Do not mistake though that the behavior that affords dominance and social status stops when children leave school.  This behavior may continue well into adulthood and statistics show that 60 % of children who practice bullying behavior will have criminal convictions by the age of 24.

What is your knowledge of bullying?  Take a quiz and see how many myths about bullying you hold?     What Is Your Knowledge About Bullying Quiz