We are never ready for the first time or really anytime that our children look at us and tell us a lie. It hurts and so it is important for us to think about how are we or should we react. Our child development specialist gave us these 7 points.
Keep your cool. Use the moment as a teaching moment.
Don’t set traps. You do not want to pile lies on top of lies.
Avoid labels. Children will live up to the label.
Give them a chance for a do-over. They need to learn that they can make a mistake and make things right.
Praise truth telling.
Find out why they are lying. ( see step 1)
Set a good example. Children see and hear and know more about us than we think they do. We are either all about honesty or we are not. Children will notice.
So there you are. I have a few more things that I will be writing about this in the next few days and we will be discussing who and what we can believe to be true this week with our students. Included in this will be some discussion about commercials and all those marketers out there trying to sell our kids “stuff”.
Your dad is a very special person. It was something that I did not really have in my life. My father passed away when I was 14 and had been sick and bed ridden from the time I was about 5 or 6 years old. There was no ball playing or him attending any of the activities I was involved in. In fact there were very few activities for me. My time was spent as a young person when not in school as a caretaker and a baby sitter, even when I was very young.
Having said all of that though, and after watching the reports on TV about the passing of Tim Russert there are a couple of thoughts that come to mind. I hear too many children of all ages, including Tim, that report that their dad was not one to tell their children that they love them, to actually use those words. I have that memory too. Now I am not sure how true it is, but I would think that my own children would probably say that too. As a dad I am going to make a commitment to myself to not just demonstrate love in what and how I do things with the kids, but actually say the words – not in passing – but in a meaningful way, often.
Fathers Day is a special day for telling dad you love him, but maybe it can be a day for dad to think about how we as fathers interact with our loved ones and especially our children. HAPPY FATHERS DAY!
Here is a list of six benefits for being honest. I will only list them at this time, with additional comments to be made later and hopefully some thoughts from you.
Peace of mind
Character and reputation
Feeling complete or whole
Mental and physical health
Respect for ourselves
There is a need for honesty, not because of what might happen to us if we are not, but because of what happens to us when we are. Take a moment to consider the 6 ways honesty can make our life richer and comment on them here. I am interested in hearing your thoughts on this and I will share mine in the near future.
It is very sad but true that we are surrounded by all forms of dishonesty and for everyone honesty is or can be a struggle. All of us are caught in a daily battle between right and wrong, making choices that have an effect on us in the present and future, and on those around us like our children who are very aware of our practices.
I was recently reading about a autobiography that was written some 1600 years ago, Confessions by St. Augustine, who explains how he moved up the social ladder by deceiving and manipulating others. One day when he saw a beggar on the side of the road, he wondered why it was that he was so discontented and this man who had nothing was so cheerful. That is when he realized that the beggar was true to himself; the great scholar Augustine was not.
He had become “utterly wretched” as a result of his constant phoniness. If we play a role too long, we lose ourselves in it. This sort of dishonest way of life becomes a ‘habit’ that has costly effects on us. Being honest about ourselves has a powerful effect on our psyche, creating a confidence that can only be had when we are honest.
On June the 6th I gave the commencement speech at Benfield Elementary school. This is a re-recording of this speech. In the coming weeks I will be posting some items here that will hopefully help parents and students make the transition into middle school.
This speech is a mix of Dr. Seuss and thoughts on choices and respect. 5th-grade-graduation-1
If you missed the art show this year I must tell you it was very special. It was great fun seeing the students submit their works and fret over if someone bought it or which pieces of art they had to have for their own collection. As everyone knows there would not have been an event this year without the work that several of our student body parents did. We need to thank Sally Caruso, Cathy Bowser, Ana Hogan and Tracy Gibson for the set up and provision of the refreshments. Please enjoy the photos from the show.
The creativity of our students always amazes me and I can tell you it was a great lift to my spirits seeing all this art!! And one more thing, our school with many small contributions raised $1015.00 for the Severna Park Assistance Network! Super job!