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Life Skills: Integrity To Our Personal Values

Teaching character and life skills to students

Being true ourselves is part of having integrity.  When we think about integrity we also think about honesty.  In fact if a person is honest they are spoken of as having integrity.  We can count on them to be true to their word and we have a trust factor that is very high.

Just as important as honesty with others is, so is honesty with ourselves.  Are we honest about who we are, what we like, how we act both with others and with ourselves?  Are we honest to our values, morals and ethics?  Especially in the tween and teen years we are very worried about fitting in and having friends.  In times like that we may be afraid that others may not like us or laugh at us if we do not like, act, dress, talk the same way that they do.  Yet being ourselves is part of feeling good about yourself.  Lets look at an example.

Lets say you are in school and your group of ‘friends’ start talking about someone else not in the group. They may be a new person at the school.  They decide that it would be ‘funny’ to play a prank on them or to say something mean to them, and you are chosen in some manner to be the one that plays the prank.  Now you may not feel comfortable to do that, in fact it goes against everything you are as a person, but you are feeling the pressure of the group.  What will you do?

Here is a what Professor Dumbledore told Harry Potter:

“It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends.”

Being willing to stand up for what you believe in and who you are, takes courage and is what integrity to yourself is all about.

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Life Skills: Integrity is being true to yourself

When it comes to integrity the most important thing you can do for yourself is to be yourself — 100% yourself.  If you are a young person should you change your favorite color, food or activity – just because someone else has a different favorite color, food or activity?  Of course not.  You have to be you!

Sometimes though we may feel timid or afraid to be ourselves as we try to fit in with the group that we are with.  All of us like the idea of being accepted by others, but doing so at the cost of not being who we are can make us feel bad about ourselves.  When we are true to ourselves we are showing integrity, and we have confidence in who and what we are.

Changing who we are to fit in with others may not allow us to enjoy the things that we are really good at and we may not be as happy with our choices in the long term.  I often think about children who choose to go into an activity or a teen that applies to certain colleges, because that is what is expected of them and not because it is what they enjoy doing.

When we are true to ourselves, our friendships and relationships will be very honest.  Eleanor Roosevelt said, “People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously.”   This is how character is built.  Having the courage to be 100% authentic is how you build great character in yourself and great relationships with others.

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Life Skills: Integrity – means doing the right thing


Teaching character and life skills to students

Clement Stone, one of the greatest business people in the world, once said, “Have the courage to say no.  Have the courage to face the truth.  Do the right thing because it is right.  These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.”    I found this quote interesting because when you ask a child, would you take a cookie if you were told not too, they would say NO!  When asked why not the answer is almost always, “Because you will get in trouble.”

One of our favorite sayings in our classes that all of our students know is, “Do the right thing, because it is the right thing to do!  Not because you will get in trouble”  In fact we tell the students – “Do not worry about getting in trouble or not.  The most important thing is do the right thing.”

While some will say that children know in their gut what is right and wrong and what are good choices and bad choices, I would disagree.  As parents we have the responsibility to teach our children morals, values and ethics.  When they see us practice those same things they begin to understand the meaning and importance of integrity.  Our display of truth and honesty in our lives as adults, is how our children “learn to feel in their gut”, what it means to do the right thing.

This month we will talk about honesty, promises, being authentic to ourselves, and how integrity influences leadership and stress in our lives.  Keep checking back in with us here, or visit our school and let your child take classes with us as we practice the martial arts and build character, confidence and contribution to the community.

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Life Skills: Optimism – Can be Gained with Practice and Kindness to Ourselves

Teaching character and life skills to students

As a parent we can be frustrated by the child who never wants to try anything new or is determined that they will not like it, whether it is a vegetable or an activity.  Usually what has happened is they have a voice in their head telling them that they are going to fail, or they won’t be good at something, or someone is going to laugh at them.  The first thing we must do as a parent is ask ourselves if this is the example that we are setting for our children?  Do they see us reject things without trying or talking to ourselves or out loud in a way that is putting ourselves down.  If we put ourselves down, or put others down as not being able to do something, our children will pick up on that and apply that to themselves.

Being kind to ourselves, no matter what our age is, encouraging ourselves to step out of our comfort zone, and allow our mistakes to be seen by our children, Continue reading “Life Skills: Optimism – Can be Gained with Practice and Kindness to Ourselves”

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Life Skills: Optimism – When We Make a Mistake

Teaching character and life skills to students

Using optimism when we have made a mistake can be a difficult step as we work at developing this attitude.  When we make a mistake we have some choices to make.  Are we going to be embarrassed and try to hide the fact that a mistake was made?  Are we going to try to get out of it by blaming another person? Are we going to deny it, being afraid that we may lose the respect or the friendship of another person?

We know that when we blame someone else that they may get in trouble for something that they did not do, and it is likely that the truth will be found out anyway.  When we make a mistake the right thing to do is to admit it and be optimistic.  Optimistic that everything will be OK.   We have told the truth, we are taking responsibility for our actions, we have apologized and now we are looking for ways to make things right.  If we have taken those steps we have every reason to believe (to be optimistic) that we will find a resolution to the mistake.

Sometimes our mistakes are on a personal level where we have said or done something that hurt the feelings of another person.  Whatever the reason is that this has occurred, taking responsibility and apologizing is the right thing to do.  Staying calm acknowledging the pain of the other person and your own pain, apologize if you have done something wrong, and let them know that you are willing to do what it takes to make things right.  Again, when we are optimistic, we believe that by being accountable, we can make things right again.