Category: Gifts of Character

This time of the year we are reminded that there are many different holidays being celebrated and we become aware of different cultures.  As I sat thinking about being open minded, accepting others for who they are and what they practice in their lives.  There is a quote from Marianne Willliamson who said, ” You must master a new way to think, before you can master a new way to be.”  Embracing differences, being open to differences and learning to appreciate and in fact love those who are different is key to creating a peaceful world.

It is interesting how down through history the leaders of the world in whatever time frame that they lived have conjolled and told people who, what and when to hate different cultures.  For the most part most people have followed the lead of those promoting this concept of hatred.  If we had been alive in the 1750’s we would have been told to hate the French and the American Indians, but 25 years later it was okay to stop hating the French and now it was time to hate the British.  If we go down through history we are repeatedly told whom we should hate and fear, changing every so often.

What would be a more peaceful way of approaching life would be to recognize that the enemy that we really have is not being open minded and having fear and hatred bound up in us.  When each of us individually and with others removes hatred and fear, being closed to new ideas and ways, and opens to creating peace, love, joy in our own lives, we will begin to create a culture of peace in the entire world.

Say to yourself, “I refuse to collaborate with the energy of hatred, I am an instrument of peace.”  Being open minded is beginning step in our process to inner and world peace.”

Teaching our children how to appropriately be introduced to someone that they do not know, learn to shake hands, look them in the eye and speak clearly is all part of training them to be assertive and to have good presence upon introduction.  In fact it is said that within 10 seconds of meeting a new person, an individual determines if they are equal to, or more / less than the person they are meeting.

Just as important to our initial contact though is our being open minded about the person we are meeting.  If we “judge a book by its cover”, we may be closing off an opportunity to get to know some interesting, thought provoking and awesome individuals. Pre-judging others does not allow us to get to know them and their story.  Imagine seeing someone that does not look like you, they may seem different in other ways too, yet when you meet them and get to talk you discover that they are more like yourself than you would have imagined.  This happens all the time.  Do you remember the woman pictured here and her angel like voice.

I would like to tell you about a parent that I barely knew – because we had never talked.  In fact our conversations were very short, they never took their sunglasses off  and I felt like this parent just didn’t like me.  That was OK, but I was determined to continue to be pleasant.  Then one day the conversation was returned and we spoke at length and soon I found out that the reason the sunglasses stayed on and conversations were short was because of an almost constant migraine style headache they had suffered from for years.  Yet they continued on with life in the best way possible.

Here is what I learned.  First you never know the story behind the person till you give them a chance.  Second, it is not about YOU.  I could see how quick I was to impugn bad personality traits on someone when I really did not know the whole situation.  The lesson is:  Be Open Minded when meeting someone.

 

Being open-minded is not just about trying new things – it is also about trying new ideas, or at the least being open to listen to new ideas.  One of the best examples of this is the reaction of the giant organization IBM in the brand new age of computers.  IBM was a company that had built themselves on their service and “main frame” computers.  These were huge and powerful and used by large corporations.  However along came the idea of a “personal” computer, one that would sit on your desk and used by the common person in an office.  The reaction was that this was a silly idea, one that would serve no purpose and not useful.  But as time has passed we see that not being open to this ‘new idea’ caused IBM to fall behind in that area of business and they had to scramble to make up for this lost time.

Being open to new ideas though also means that we have to use our common sense and measure the ideas against our morals, values and ethics.  Not all new ideas are good for everyone, not all are legal, not all are healthy.  How do you know when a new idea is a good one or bad one?  One way is to ask yourself what your brain, heart, and gut tells you.  “Is this new idea a good choice for me?”  If we are not sure or just confused we may need more information or we may need to ask someone that is more experienced than ourselves.

Being open minded does not give us license to do things that are illegal, or that hurt others or ourselves.  It does allow us to listen to and make choices that are good for ourselves and others.